The Transcendent Power Of Stupid

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Stupid is as stupid does   Mama Gump

You know, when you read Mary Trump’s book, as I did, and you learn that His Lowness paid a chum with a functioning brain stem to take his SATs, and his sister did his college homework, it’s no surprise that Trump goes balls to the wall to hide his college transcripts. Personally, I think Trump uses a Sharpie to sign shit because it allows him to smear shit up so much you don’t realize he can’t spell his own name. Trump doesn’t have a degree from the U. of Penn in Business, he has a Ph.D in Stupid.

And that degree is on bright, shining display every day now, as not only the wheels, but the spare tire and the emergency brake fall off of the Trump bus. Let me ask you this: On December 7, 1941, what do you think would have happened if the Japanese commander radioed Pearl Harbor to tell them to ignore all of those airplanes, they took a wrong turn on the way to Osaka? And how do you think things would have gone in 1776, if George Washington had chosen to deck out all of those boats with lamps when they snuck across the Delaware river to surprise the British?

See, here’s the thing. Trump has never managed to make the quantum leap in logic to realize that in order to launch a surprise attack, the fucking thing has to be a surprise! Time and time again, due to Trump’s chronic narcissism and compulsion, he ends up like a 16-year-old in the back seat of a car.

It’s not like Trump couldn’t have learned the lesson, he had a perfect tutor in Georgia’s Governor, and former Secretary of State, Brian Kemp. In 2018, Kemp smelled true danger from Democratic challenger Stacey Abrams, so what did he do? He purged the state’s voter rolls of more than 650,000 names, mostly minority. But he did it when it was too late for the Democrats to do anything about it in court! That’s how you run a sneak attack.

But more than 2 months ago, Trump sent a fleet of third rate ambulance chasers into courts in all kinds of states, complaining about various state laws and rules governing absentee balloting. One problem with that is that in order to get injunctions, you have to prove some wrong doing, illegality, or unconstitutional nature in the state’s rules and laws. Good luck with that. But worse was the fact that Trumpleforeskin announced it with a bull horn, which sent a league of Democratic lawyers into those states to argue the cases properly. As a result, Trump has lost 85% of the cases filed so far, including one in Texas on Friday, where Governor Abbott wanted to limit counties to only one drop box, as well as a federal ruling today throwing out his attempts to restrict early ballot drop boxes as capricious and unfounded.

On a connected front, more than 6 weeks ago, Trump trumpeted out the fact that he and the RNC had more than 1,000 lawyers ready to descend on various states starting the day after the election, ready to challenge every ballot if necessary to keep Diaper Donnie on his potty throne. Which of course means that the Democrats immediately formed a far superior legal team to kick their asses.

But it gets even better, or worse, depending on your point of view. Fearing that a massive Democratic turnout via early absentee voting would sink his paper boat, Trump turned to his personal Curly Joe, Louis “Da Toy,” to fuck up the postal service. But it turns out that DeJoy is no smarter than his boss. Weeks before absentee voting even started, “Da Toy” got caught pulling truck loads of mailboxes that had been pulled from street corners where they had resided for decades. and dismantling high speed sorting machines and throwing them into the trash. The resulting congressional stink led to a federal judge ordering DeJoy to quit dicking around and put everything back the way it was.

And there is already empirical evidence that this plot has died an ignoble death. Last night on MSNBC, DNC chair Tom Perez reported that in the first two weeks of mail in absentee voting, more than 675,000 votes, or approximately 20% of the total anticipated vote in Wisconsin, had already been received back at elections offices. And a 102 year old woman in Illinois, whose grandson made a space suit for her to get her ballot from her mailbox, received her notice that her ballot had been received.

And one more thing on this subject. Postal workers are incredibly hard working, proud public servants. DeJoy’s kiddie games pissed them off something fierce. MSNBC ran a report about delivery drivers that ran into the back before leaving, going through tubs of mail left behind, searching for government checks, ballots, and medical supplies before leaving for their route. Mechanics in New York stalled in their orders to dismantle high speed sorting equipment for so long that the orders were finally rescinded by the judge. And other mail carriers took mail out in their own cars on their own time to expedite delivery. These professionals will be god-damned if they’ll let a horses ass like DeJoy smear their reputation with the public.

But here’s the cherry on the sundae. Trump actually had a two pronged plan of attack. All the way back in the primaries, many of them delayed by the coronavirus, it quickly became apparent that there was going to be a real problem with in person voting, either early, or on election day. The vast majority of poll workers in the United States are, like myself, senior citizens. They sign up to give back a little, and to get out of the house. But as a prime risk for the virus, many of them sensibly chose to sit it out this year.

That was Trump’s entre to another four years of sponging off of the rest of us in the White House. Use the lack of scared senior poll workers to create long, and potentially dangerously long lines for early in person and election day voting, and use DeJoy to fuck up the timely delivery of ballots in order to invalidate them. But once again, Trump just couldn’t resist making it stupidly obvious. And once again, way too soon.

Enter the youth.  Back in 2018, Trump royally pissed off the Parkland students, and their social media goliath with his subservient stance to the NRA. The kids showed up en masse for the 2018 election, handing a whole shit load of NRA friendly GOP incumbents their heads. Which gave them a taste of victory, and the whiff of blood in the water. The kids didn’t just go home, they activated for other reasons, especially racial justice.

The panic call went out nationally, and the younger generation responded. And so did private business. Old Navy became the first national retailer to offer younger, healthier employees days off, with pay, to work the polls. Others soon followed suit. Wisconsin is currently one of the worst hot spots in the country, and they were down thousands of poll workers for the election. Within 72 hours of the call going out, Wisconsin now only has a handful of precincts with shortages, and an exceeded in other counties, including Milwaukee county, a critical 2020 battleground. Most states are now reporting that they have sufficient poll workers to open all of their precincts for both full early voting, as well as full coverage on election day.

This is the true transcendence of stupid. Both his hold on power, as well as friendly state legislatures, and the pandemic itself gave Trump an embarrassment of riches when it came to trying to finagle the vote. And of course, being Trump, he pissed them away, just as he has every other largesse he’s been given. 24 days. GOTV!

Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35

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1 COMMENT

      • The mailboxes being pulled off the streets upset me in a way I can’t describe. I can’t describe it, because it was unique in my experience as an American.

          • It only just occurred to me but the Post Office debacle might wind up being more than Trump shooting himself in the foot, but rather blowing his whole foot off with a shotgun. Yes, people of all ages are pissed about what the administration did, but it will resonate more with older voters. Those above fifty and even more so with retirees. If you’re older than 50 you lived a lot of your life where instead of emails and “e” cards you got actual letters and cards. It was a real treat to get such things, and there was a certain pleasure in sending personal mail to someone else. For those of us who’ve served in the armed forces the feeling of getting mail was exponentially greater. Mail call was the highlight of a day or week and nothing would kill morale faster than some glitch in the mail getting to a unit. But the point is that it was something special.

            Seniors have long been the most reliable block of voters. For reasons I’ve never understood they’ve long aligned mostly with the GOP, the Party that’s quite openly hell bent on taking away their Medicare and doing away with Social Security! It’s a voting block without which the GOP would be in a world of shit. So what has Trump done with the rest of the GOP either standing by mute (in fear of his twitter feed) or cheerleaded? Not just mismanaging the Covid pandemic which disproportionately affect seniors, but ALSO screwing with one of the institutions most cherished by seniors. And which even if it doesn’t include many of the warm & fuzzy memories (or at least as many) of cards and letters as it once did DOES deliver most of their medications!

            Is it any wonder the GOP is starting to panic? Losing their iron grip on the military and veteran’s vote is bad but something they can maybe manage – fighting for that vote on a more level playing field. But the senior vote is a larger and as I said reliable block of votes and losing that iron grip on the senior vote is a true crisis for the GOP. All those decades of careful, ruthless maneuvering by the GOP to lock down the block of voters who come hell or high water cast their votes might all wind up being undone by their combination of Clinton Derangement Syndrome in allowing Trump to get in the WH in the first place, and his need to stay there to keep out of legal trouble.

            Like Trump, the GOP which had spent decades playing the long game got caught up in instant gratification, the needs & desires of the moment. They engaged in drunken excess at the party, and are now waking up to a hangover that might turn out to be epic. The kind that leaves them too sick and hurting initially to fully comprehend how out of control they let themselves get. The kind that by the time evening rolls around and they just feel lousy instead of being ok with dying they start getting hit with the realization of the stupid things they did while wasted the night before. Things that the whole freaking town SAW. Things that people won’t forget, and might well alter how they are forever viewed afterwards, as in folks might eventually forgive some of the behaviors they will never, ever be forgotten and always taken into account when dealing with that partier on important matters in the future!

  1. I go to the Post Office in our town every day they are open to get my dad’s mail. I noticed a flat bed truck hauling off 3 of their trucks a few months ago and thought it was odd. This was before we knew what de ploy was up to. They couldn’t take up boxes here as we only have one. Then today I wanted to buy one of those padded envelopes and the post office lady told me to try the dollar store as she had ordered supplies months ago and had yet to received them.

  2. sadly you will need to update the Texas news. The 5th circuit stayed the order to allow multiple drop off sites. back to the courts again.

  3. The whole thing with Brian Kemp should’ve been stopped before it ever started. As SOON as he got the GOP nomination for governor, he should’ve been forced to step down or, at the very least, step aside as Secretary of State, especially in ALL voting-related matters. Even if there weren’t a law in Georgia letting him carry on working as SoS, he should’ve done the honorable thing (and yes, I realize I’m talking about a GOPer but still . . . ) and stepped aside from his voter-related matters.

    You KNOW that if the Secretary of State had been a Democrat and had won the Democratic nomination for Governor, the first thing that Georgia’s GOP-dominated legislature would’ve done whatever it could do to keep him or her from carrying out his or her duties as SoS. Even if it meant passing an emergency bill that would strip the SoS from having ANY kind of “conflict of interest” (real, potential or imaginary) while running for another state elective office, it would’ve been done within hours of the primary’s results if the Democrat failed to step down/aside voluntarily.

  4. Been saying it for 5 years—that idiot traffic cone (now) occupying the Oval Office is a Stupid.Sociopath. Plan accordingly. (And so good to read you again, Murf.)

  5. This was a great read Murf. I’ve been so concerned here in Texas because my mail is still taking so long to get to me. Thank you for writing this and easing my anxiety.

  6. GREAT article, Murph! I’m laughing my head off, and I did NOT know about the sorting machines still being intact. Or the injunctions to stop closing ballot drop off points. Or the youth back -filling open polling worker spots. Donnie really is dumb and dumber and dumbest in spite of his very large brain! Dining Kruger Effect be damned!

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