The GOP Should Really Learn A Lesson From Ukraine If It Wants To Compete Again

I like to go to church and heckle the priest.   You suck, father!   Come on dude, play Kumbaya!   Bobcat Goldthwait

Next Friday marks the one year mark since Vlad the Imp destroyed his own country by flagrantly invading the sovereign country of Ukraine. The world shuddered. The standard analysis was that Ukraine wouldn’t last a month, and many military analysts predicted the collapse within two weeks.

But it didn’t turn out that way. Instead the Ukrainians suckered the Russians into pockets far from their supply, waited for the spring thaw, routed them, taking oodles of their equipment, and started pushing Russia back. And then the emergency aid from the US, EU, and NATO started pouring in, and suddenly Russia started looking like the ultimate loser.

But it actually comes down to something much simpler than that. A single word. Motivation. What were the Russian troops fighting for? Their own Supreme Commander was so dismissive of them that when he issued the orders to invade, he never even told the troops that they were invading, he told them it was an exercise. The first the front line troops knew was when they started dropping like flies under live fire. They were hundreds of miles from home, fighting for a cause they hadn’t even been told by command, and against an enemy that contained friends and relatives. In many cases they dropped their weapons, ran into the forest, and surrendered.

Now, what was the Ukrainian army fighting for? Their mothers. Their fathers. Their wives. Their children. Their families. Their homes. Their pride. And most importantly, their homeland. It has never been a fair fight. The Russians are undertrained, with inferior equipment and pathetic generalship. The Ukrainian army is battle tested by eight years of constant border combat against separatists on the borders of Crimea and the Dombras region.

Here’s where it all ties in to the topic at hand. You all know how much I hate that old adage, Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line. Well, one of the reasons I have always hated that goddamned thing is What the hell is wrong with falling in love with a cause?! If you truly believe in the cause, you’re motivated. And the more strongly you believe, the more motivated you are.

The GOP used to get this. The GOP waged a 50 year war to overturn the hated Roe v Wade, and what did it get them. Oh, I don’t know. How about cycle after cycle of electoral victories, while the rabid far right Evangelical base showed out in droves to elect GOP candidates that would overturn it? They laid the groundwork for the GOP to take state control, gerrymander, reshape the federal judiciary, and finally get the Evangelical base what they had been promising them for 50 years. If that isn’t motivation, then I don’t know what is.

But guess what? In 2022, right when the GOP needed them the most, the far right Evangelical vote was down. Why? Elementary, my dear Watson. Because the far right Evangelicals weren’t motivated.They already had what they had spent generations of organizing and voting to achieve. Roe v Wade was as dead as Paddy’s pig nationally, and their GOP dominated state legislators were busy batting cleanup. The GOP desperately tried to motivate them with a culture war against the LGBTQ community, but the just couldn’t make it stick.

The GOP changed forever on January 20th, 2009. On that date, as America was celebrating the inauguration of the nation’s first black President, Senate Leader Mitch McConnell was meeting in secret with his cabal at an Italian restaurant, and swearing a mighty oath that Barack Obama would only be a one term President. And because Obama had a durable majority in both the House as well as the Senate, McConnell had a plan. From that day forward, the Republican party would become a party of pure obstructionism. They would use all of their power to stop Obama from achieving anything, and beat him in 2012. Basically they stopped believing in or promoting anything.

In my life the Republican party has stood for all kinds of shit. The anti Communist party, the anti Welfare Queen party, the Law and Order party, the pro military party, the read-my-lips-no-new-taxes party, the Tea Party party, the small government party. All of these were actually well thought out platforms, meant to motivate their voters, and then get them to the polls. But in January of 2009, all of that stopped on a dime, and the GOP was determined by a single word. NO!

Now let’s look at the Democrats. Let’s be honest. In 2016 the Democrats were not motivated. They had two underwhelming candidates, but it didn’t matter because Trump was such an ass clown that he couldn’t be elected dog catcher in Catville,ISA. Until he was. And look what has happened since;

• In 2018, the Democrats, and all right thinking people, repulsed by the gauche pig-on-two-hooves and his policies rallied to put a check on his power. And as a result, the Democrats rode a 40 seat House tsunami in the midterms that led to investigations that ended in two Trump impeachments
• In 2020 the Democrats were uber motivated at the thought of giving Traitor Tot a hobnailed boot, and they planted it right in the middle of his ass. Not only that, they managed to not only narrowly continue to hold the House, but they took a razor majority in the Senate, making the Biden Agenda a reality
• In 2022, following the monumental SCOTUS fuck up of overturning Roe v Wade, The Democrats, along with just about everybody with reproductive ability came together to protest. Not only did the Democrats manage to take what should have been a 40-55 seat GOP House pickup and hold it to a dozen seats, neutering Kevin McCarthy, they actually gained a seat in the Senate. And worse yet, traditional red states voted to enshrine abortion into the states constitutions

And now, in 2024, here we go again. The GOP just can’t help themselves. Gas prices are still too high, inflation is a mixed bag, but 36 eggs are now $25.90 at Smiths (Kroeger), the supply chain is still woozy, and there’s still some question as to whether or not a recession is on the way. And what is the insightful, masterful, on topic GOP House response to these problems? They’re going to drag an 82 year old Anthony Fauci into a sub committee looking into the origins of Covid-19. And if Dr. Fauci’s previous interactions with imbecile opthamologist Senator Rand Paul are anything to go by, he’s going to kick their ass.

The Democrats are already unified. If Biden runs again in 2024, there will be no primary challengers. And if Biden steps aside, then Vice President Kamala Harris will be the consensus Democratic candidate. The Democrats are focused, and for once they’re in line. They have the wind in their sails, popular issues they can argue, and a list of accomplishments they’re already touting.

And the GOP? All they have is culture wars, critical race theory, the icky gays, and the stopper card, At least we’re not Democrats! Trump 2024! What could go wrong?