You know, if they all lived in the same place, you might be able to explain it by saying It’s something in the water. But they don’t, they live all over, in places like Ohio, South Carolina, and Florida. And if they all went to the same college, you might claim it was something in the curriculum. But they didn’t. Which means you can only mark it down to genetic mutation, maybe something in the DNA that tends to make Republicans soulless, spineless, with no moral compass, and an endless well for enduring rejection, scorn, and humiliation.

You know, politics is a contact sport. And the higher you climb the ladder, the greater the risks get. If you have any skeletons in your closet, legal, moral, or ethical, the higher you go, not only does the opposition research get better, looking for dirt, but the more seriously the mainstream media looks at you, and these guys are better than any oppo research firm.

So you’d think that if a man or woman with a little dirt under their nails was lucky enough to survive the process and get into congress, they’d lay low like butter melting into warm toast. And yet it almost never seems to turn out that way. Instead, they stand up and make loud horses asses of themselves, literally demanding that opponents and the media start digging deeper. And nowhere is that more apparent than with the current Unholy Trinity of the Freedom caucus, Gym Bag Jordan, Sugar Daddy Matt Gaetz, and Steve Scalise.

The funny thing is, that all three of these mental midgets have already more or less survived previous public scandals, and rather than laying low and being grateful, they purposely keep elevating their public profile to ensure the media and opponents digging up the same sh*t over again. Sh*t for which they still have no suitable answer for;

  • Bratty Matty Gaetz spent 2 1/2 years under federal investigation for participating in an alleged human trafficking scheme involving underage girls. Rather than sweating it, instead he fundraised off of it. While Gaetz claims full exoneration, the DOJ said no such thing, simply declining to prosecute due to their star witness not being strong enough
  • Gym bag Jordan is in the same ballpark. Several years ago Jordan was prominently featured in an investigation into student athlete complaints that the wrestling team doctor was taking sexual liberties with the wrestlers. Multiple wrestlers complained that they had told Jordan directly, and he did nothing. Jordan denied the claims, and the thing is bogged down in court. But twice today I’ve heard media references to his prior allegations. And the election is only a year off
  • But the one with arguably the most to lose is also the only one with no criminal liability. Several years ago, Steve Scalise gave an ill advised speech to a pseudo Klan group in which he proudly proclaimed himself David Duke without the baggage. It went over well with the bedsheet banditos, but nobody else liked it much, and Scalise caught some heat. But most importantly, it’s resurfaced now, and it’s costing him a vote he desperately needs from a South Carolina congresswoman who won’t support him

Stupid is as stupid does. Look, if I did a stint for armed robbery, and managed to luck out and get a job at a bank, the last thing I would do is to become the public face of trying to unionize the bank, and give management a good reason to do a really deep dive on my background and history. But it seems to be congenital with these morons, they can’t help themselves. Like Catholic zealots from Opus Dei who wear a cilice on their thighs, a kind of metal crown of thorns that scratch at them to remind them of their sinner status in good standing.

But it’s not just these three mental defectives. The most notorious offender is NY congressman George Santos, who ran for the US House in order to get free lifetime healthcare fer Crissakes! Apparently he didn’t Google to find that the healthcare for lifetime doesn’t kick in until the start of your 5th term. Santos was far more brazen than those other three losers. He lied about everything from his education to his wealth, his business record to his mother dying on 9/11, And he committed the cardinal sin of being bone stupid. He never did anything he said, his mother is still alive in Brazil, and some background digging found criminal accusations in both Brazil and the US. Which of course he fundraised off of. He is now awaiting federal trial on a laundry list of charges.

But my all time favorite if former GOP congressional imbecile Louis DeJarlais. DeJarlais was one of those physician congressmen, which is worse than an undertaker or barkeeper politician, since they can’t even offer you a prayer or buy you a drink. Louie was a far right, virulent pro life, anti abortion legislator. But like so many GOP nitwits, he went over the top. A couple of reporters started digging, and uncovered the fact that DeJarlais had engaged in an affair with a patient, and when she copped a baby bulge, he personally drove her to another state, and paid for an abortion. That stunt cost him his seat, and the last I know, his medical license was hanging by a thread.

It’s not like the Democrats are as innocent as newborns. Several years ago there was a Louisiana congressman named Jefferson, who got caught by the FBI literally with bricks of $100 bills in the freezer of his reefer, and a standup freezer in the basement. Man! Talk about cold hard cash! Al Franken got nailed for a comic photo in poor taste, and complaints of him being a little too close for selfies with constituents, and Bob Menendez is on his second round of public corruption charges. The difference here is that none of these morons actively sought to bring extra attention to themselves, and start people digging.

So yeah, I can’t figure out how it can be anything but congenital. Only in Republican DNA is there that chromosome that creates compulsive self aggrandizement, even if it turns self destructive. And that’s why I can put out so many articles like this. Aren’t we all lucky?

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  1. About the “imbecile” congressman, I think you mean Scott DesJarlais who did that years before his run for Congress. If so, the goober is STILL in Congress.

  2. The science has been in for some time now-conservatives are less intelligent than liberals. They are also less educated. Imbeciles should be expected. Until more cons die out, just waiting for another pandemic(s), imbeciles will continue to be elected.


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