Making schools into prisons seems to be the only architectural or sociological scheme that the right wing can come up with. Certainly it’s the best thing that Donald Trump, Jr. can imagine. And this won’t surprise you, he’s joined by Ted Cruz.

Now when you read this, you’re going to realize that Junior doesn’t know how either schools nor government work, but then that hardly comes as a shock.

The armed guard will be at the door of every classroom. What’s that you say? Teddums doesn’t like doors? You’re absolutely right. How stupid of us. Ted Cruz, a true visionary, has articulated something that no one else has ever figured out, the problem with doors in this country. Slate:

Where this country has truly gone astray, though, is in its door policy. You look at big buildings like schools, and there are simply doors everywhere. Texas Sen. Ted Cruz has a solution. “Have one door into and out of the school,” he argued this week, and have “armed police officers at that door.”

The door lobby will have a say about this, but—why not zero doors? Get the United States military to build retractable roofs on every school for aerial entrance and egress, and have students and teachers descend into class each day from the aircraft of their choice. Alternatively, the Pentagon could invest in a nationwide series of tunnels. Iron Dome–like air defense installations, meanwhile, could protect exposed areas such as athletic fields and corridors between buildings.

This could all be done for a modest one-time cost of $14 trillion—maybe $12.75 trillion, if the loony left agrees to waive Davis-Bacon wage protections. It’s the only reasonable idea.

You see what happens when the great minds in this country brainstorm and form think tanks? And here you thought, being a silly Democrat, that getting assault rifles off the streets would be a solution. Pshaw.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. I’m surprised that Baby Donny didn’t suggest surrounding schools with 30 foot high walls, armed security at gates, everyone locked in and have guard towers at the corners

    Simpler solution – move schools into empty jails – then there’s no need to check on idiots with guns

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