I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when Trump learned nemesis Mark Kelly suggested a brutal yet quite appropriate name for Trumpt’s bigly-grand-best-ever ballroom. “Felony Hall.” Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? Like any dictator or wannabe dictator Trump hates being mocked/made fun of even more than being criticized. Kelly has just done both, flipping the script on Trump renaming things.
Huffington Post has an article that lays this out and it’s a fun read. Kelly was walking down the hall talking to TMZ who thankfully had their camera recording. At the beginning the subject was Trump’s recent meeting with executives from the nation’s top artificial intelligence companies. Kelly got into mocking mode over Trump renaming AI “super intelligence and the ridiculousness of Trump renaming other things when inspiration struck:
“He really likes naming things,” the senator remarked, bringing up how Trump said Lake Ontario was being rechristened to “Lake America” late last month amid a bubbling trade war with Canada, as well as how he announced the Gulf of Mexico would now be referred to as the “Gulf of America” at the beginning of his second term in office.
“I don’t know what’s next,” Kelly sighed, before offering a suggestion for Trump’s next naming project.
“I got one though. You know that new ballroom he’s trying to build?” the retired astronaut asked. “Felony Hall.”
FELONY HALL
That company (I think it’s called ServPro) that does accident/disaster cleanup (their slogan is ‘Like It Never Happened’) should send Kelly a campaign donation because the walls of wherever Trump was when he learned about this aren’t just dripping with ketchup. His anger fueled adrenaline rush probably caused some of the bottles to punch holes in the wall.
Sen. Mark Kelly says, like Donald Trump, he doesn’t mind renaming things—and suggests to @hicharliecotton that the president rename his ballroom “Felony Hall.” 😳 pic.twitter.com/gJu5QTvc97
— TMZ (@TMZ) September 29, 2026
Well, even though he wasn’t sentenced to any prison time the fact is Trump WAS convicted of 34 felonies by a jury. He’s also locked in a legal battle over renaming the Kennedy Center and has lost in court several times. Only Congress can rename the place, and other federal monuments too. Ten bucks says when Trump finally loses enough in court (I’m sure John Roberts dreads this crap coming up to the Court) he’ll demand GOPers in Congress introduce legislation to get what he wants!
That does raise an interesting point. Although not brought up in the article the White House itself is covered by certain laws and much as we know he wants to Trump can’t rename it after himself. Or rename historic rooms inside it. Tearing down the East Wing was illegal and I hope someday charges are filed for felony destruction of property. Historic property no less. Alas, given SCOTUS’ immunity ruling for ‘Official Acts’ he’d never be convicted and federal prosecutors as a matter of policy in a real, functioning DOJ aren’t allowed to file charges they are unlikely to win at trial.
Still, Congress can bestow a name on the new stack of crap Trump is building above the bunker that wasn’t needed either. Senator Kelly should introduce a bill naming the new ballroom under construction Felony Hall! Hell, just for mocking Trump’s grand (in his deteriorating mind) ballroom he’s probably been furiously speed dialing Hegseth to try and bring military charges against Kelly again.
Don’t be surprised if by the end of the week self-styled ‘Warrior’ Petey Boy has done just that. And/or again tried to demote Kelly in rank to reduce his military pension. Neither made it up the flagpole after the first try after Kelly took part in a video to the troops quoting the UCMJ about not having to follow illegal orders. Yes, trying to haul up Kelly for Court Martial proceedings for insubordination and/or undermining the authority of the Commander-In-Chief would be a stretch. However this IS the Trump administration and they’ve proven time and again that the viability, or rather lack thereof of criminal charges doesn’t matter. In Team Trump’s mind just forcing victims of their lawfare to spend a bunch of money on defense lawyers is punishment in and of itself.
So, given there’s a good chance he might face charges Kelly should again turn the tables, both on Trump and his GOP colleagues in the Senate. They spent much of the Jack Smith hearing hyping the Speech and Debate Clause. By dropping a naming bill for the ballroom in the hopper Kelly can do two things. First it will give this legs and make Trump go batsh!t insane. Second, since it’s him doing Congressional work it would be covered by that Speech and Debate Clause the GOP is up in arms about!
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Felony Hall, home of The Epstein Ballroom.
All great placenames are firmly grounded in historical events.