We are told that Rudy Giuliani once had a good mind. He was a prosecutor of some note, we are led to believe. And that may in fact have been the case. My wonder is how, how did he descend to this level, where he looks like the Crypt Keeper and he sounds like Alex Jones on his most desperate day spinning conspiracy theory? How do you get from that starting point to this?

And of course the part of this that you simply cannot make up is that the epicenter was at Bedminster Golf Club. That is the capstone on this pyramid of lunacy and improbability.

Remember in the Douglas Adams book, Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, the starship Heart Of Gold was powered by the improbability drive? Somehow this planet we live on is now functioning the same way. You, me, Trump, our lives are all operating according to the improbability drive.

I’m thinking that in 2015 the earth passed through some kind of a cosmic cloud, think Mutara Nebula, and once you’re inside the thing nothing functions like normal. That is the only way I can explain how a reality TV buffoon managed to take over a major political party and somehow get elected, when the choice was a seasoned, lifetime public servant of considerable intellect and stature. Detractors of Hillary said that she “lacked the common touch” and the fact is, the camera didn’t like her, the way it liked her husband, or Barack Obama, or Trump. Trump’s entire huckstering career is built upon the fact that he understands television and that he comes across well on television.

As Dick Cavett opined back in the 70’s, “the camera always lies, it’s just a question of whether it lies for you or against you.” It lies against a lot of people, Hillary among them. It also lied against H.W. His wife Barbara said that it was the darnedest thing, “the camera makes him look smaller.” If she said so, I believe her. I once met the actor Michael Ironside and I was surprised that he was as powerfully built as he was. The camera makes him look smaller, too. Maybe the camera makes Trump look smaller. Dear Gawd, could that be the case? If so, he must really be an ooze ball in person, a veritable Shrek, only in orange instead of green.

Back to Biblical conspiracy theory, here’s what Marge Greene’s boyfriend is spewing out. He looks like he had one hell of a night. Look at those eyebags/creases? Aye caramba.

So we’ve got it all, friends. The cicadas are coming out of the ground, the earthquakes are rattling the east, the eclipse is coming overhead, right-wingnuttia is predicting that this could be The Rapture for the nth time. If I only had $100 for each time the rapture has been predicted, we could all go on my yacht for a nice party in the Bahamas.

Maybe the gates of Hell will open up on Monday and Ivana Trump will come back from the dead and escort Satan to a private audience with her ex-husband. It won’t be any stranger than the many things that we’ve posted here, so why not?

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  1. To answer your first question, he was always a POS. Just ask the minorities in NYC when he was mayor. He was a publicity seeking asshole who had no ethics. It was all hidden to the rest of America when he was covered in the dust of the twin towers. Now that the dust has settled, the shining POS glows in the dark. He belongs in prison telling his crazy ideas to his cellmate.

  2. “here’s what Marge Greene’s boyfriend is spewing out. He looks like he had one hell of a night. Look at those eyebags/creases? Aye caramba.”

    Are you surprised he looks like that? Just imagine how much booze (and probably drugs) the man has to imbibe just to deal with the fact that he’s involved with Greene. And to think he may have even seen her naked? I can only imagine how many stores he visited buying the necessary amount of liquor just to forget that image.

  3. It was 6.5 miles from the Bedminster Golf Course. Was it Ivana rolling over???? Or……was it “God” shaking things up so that folks would realize 45 is not welcome?

  4. how many of these xtians actually believe all this drivel (time after time after time). earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes are are god punishing the commie pagans. they never think he’s punishing them. and here in ne Florida all the schools will be ushering the kids inside during the eclipse, or parents can keep their kids home for an excused day. no sports practice or other outdoor activities. why in the he’ll would they do that? the level of stupidity here is going to break my brain

    • They’ll usher the kids indoors just in case they have too many brain donors who want to look at the eclipse bare-eyed and possibly hurt their eyes. Of course the idiot parents can keep them home. Who cares if THEY blind their spawn?

  5. So Rudy thinks earthquakes are blue state phenomena that popped up kinda recently as punishment to Democrats? Well, since part of being a Republican has become ignoring facts (including history) and science and a lot of pretending everything is sunshine and roses in red states while everything in blue states is a war zone his ramblings are understandable.

    As it happens, the infamous San Francisco earthquake over a century ago that caused so much death and destruction is NOT the worst in our history. In fact, the four biggest earthquakes in the continental U.S. have been from the New Madrid fault. That’s New Madrid MISSOURI, a very red state! It’s just that they took place in the early 1800s in a relatively unpopulated area/region. However, effects were felt from a couple from that series that were felt all the way to Washington, DC. Since the main part of the fault is some 120 miles long and crosses the Mississippi River that river was altered and Reelfoot Lake was created.

    The New Madrid Seismic Zone affects seven states: Illinois, Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas and to a lesser extent Indiana and Mississippi. Only one of those states is a blue state. And the part affected (boy do I remember the quake in 1968) by the fault is southern Illinois, which is now ruby red! Everyone likes to think about California and “The Big One” but someday another major quake will happen along the New Madrid fault (yes, the eclipse will pass through the fault zone) and it will cause more damage than any other earthquake that will someday happen. Hell, only the blowing of the supervolcano under Yellowstone be a worse natural disaster, one which will wipe out life as we know it on earth. Which I might add is RED state territory.

    Oh, and eclipses aren’t new. Not common by any means but since mos of the world is covered by ocean more often than not if one isn’t at sea there’s little chance of seeing one. Even on land the path of totally seldom crosses much in the way of populated territory. Back when Einstein published his theory of relativity the only known way to test/prove it was to get photos of stars behind the sun during a total eclipse but more than one expedition to observe more than one eclipse met with failure due to the remoteness of the viewing area!

    It’s actually amazing that in the U.S. we will have had not one but TWO solar eclipses in a span of seven years that can be viewed by vast numbers of people. What’s even more remarkable is that they are travelling two different paths and those paths will make an X on the map. As it happens, Makanda Illinois, a few miles south of Carbondale (not far from where I grew up. I dated a gal from there, and also played golf at a course there) Illinois! With a friend I drove down to Columbia, SC to be in the path of totality of the last eclipse. It was faster moving and narrower than it will be next week. Back in my hometown my sister will be able to sit in her backyard and watch it although she might head out to a friend’s farm to have a more open viewing area. Or she said she might head over to Lake Murphysboro and indulge in one of her favorite activities, taking her kayak out on the water. Of course, given the weather back there and especially this time of year all bets are off. If it’s cloudy or raining she’ll just sit outside on the deck and watch the birds and other animals freak when the moment comes.

    As for locusts, again this is something that’s been going on since before there were people. We know the cycles of each type emerging to do their thing. I can see why goobers would freak out. If you don’t live in town or a city with lots of ambient noise from cars and other stuff it’s quite the sound. Out in a rural setting it sounds like one imagines a UFO filled with alien creatures would sound!

    It’s amazing how stupid and gullible people can be. Unfortunately these people tend to be MAGAs and they vote.

    • cicadas are not really “locusts”, which are a morph of regular grasshoppers. the reason for the transformation is not quite clear but seems to have something to do with crowding. once a swarm transforms, they will eat everything in their path.

      • Yeah, and the only thing the cicadas are going to attack is new growth on your shrubs and trees. Suck the juice. Ain’t got the mouth parts to eat other stuff.

  6. Wonder what rudy will think is the cause when the BIG earthquake occurs in the boot heel of MO region. A very big one is expected and there is one hell of a fault line there-the New Madrid fault line-smack dab in the middle of magat-ville. When that one goes, there will be a whole lot of property damage and casualties. It was way past due when I was doing my graduate studies in the area.

    con xitians hate. Pure and simple-they are full of hatred for just about everything. When you’re full of unreasoning hatred for sooo damned many people/things, what better than to say G_d is punishing….someone/something…using a natural disaster. Don’t be looking inward, don’t be introspective or sh*t like that.

    Kooky Pants’ boyfriend up there looks like he looked directly into one of them thar joo-ish space lazaars. Wow. That is a real piece of work there. We’re talking Cast of Deliverance piece of work.


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