‘Putin’s Pissing Himself Laughing’ As Trump Orders Troops To Texas To Fight the ‘Invasion’ — and Fundraise

The episodes in the soap opera in which we dwell, Trump Goes Barking Mad or The Apprentice: Orange Julius Caesar, are happening more than once a day. It’s not easy having a complete psychotic breakdown, and so I expect the episodes to become closer together and more intense, kind of like labor pains. Except there won’t be a wonderful new life at the end of this ordeal, only the sound of cases of ketchup bottles hurled against the wall and grunting, as the Secret Service men help the orderlies to restrain the maniac, while a doctor injects a sedative.

Trump is the Commander-in-Chief of MAGA and so what’s happening at the border is a scene out of a combination of The Mouse That Roared and The Russians Are Coming — the Russians are in fact pissing, if you want to know what they’re doing, they’re laughing so hard. Occasionally Vladimir puts through a call to his buddy in Beijing, who can’t come to the phone because he belly laughed so hard he fell over and hit his head and his aides are reviving him. The Messenger:

Donald Trump threw his support behind Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, R, amidst the governor’s ongoing dispute with the White House, and he encouraged other states to use their National Guards to help Texas fight off an “invasion.”

In Truth Social posts, the former president accused President Joe Biden of “fighting to tie the hands” of Abbott on Thursday.

This follows the Supreme Court ruling in favor of the Biden administration’s emergency request to remove razor wire border barriers in Eagle Pass, Texas, installed at the request of the governor. Border Patrol said the razor wire fencing kept them from reaching migrants and increased the danger level.

Abbott and other Republicans have blasted the ruling.

“Texas has rightly invoked the Invasion Clause of the Constitution, and must be given full support to repel the Invasion,” Trump wrote on Thursday. “We encourage all willing States to deploy their guards to Texas to prevent the entry of Illegals, and to remove them back across the Border. All Americans should support the commonsense measures by Texas authorities to protect the Safety, Security, and Sovereignty of Texas, and of the American people.”

Article IV, Section IV of the Constitution: The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.

Here are some key points:

• The American history of the term “invasion” reveals that its literal meaning is entry plus enmity: Entry alone, which is trespass, is not sufficient to constitute an invasion.
• Although the Framers occasionally used “invade” in a metaphorical sense, we know that in the Compact Clause they used the word in its literal sense, because that clause’s ancestor text in the Articles of Confederation refers to invasion “by enemies.”
• Past non-state actors, like pirates and barbarians, fell under the category of “invaders” in the opinion of certain American statesmen, such as Madison.
• Present-day non-state actors, like cartel-affiliated gangs operating within the territory of a U.S. state, may fall under the category of invaders, provided their criminal activity reaches a scale or degree of organization that deliberately overthrows or curtails the lawful sovereignty of the state.

What’s that you say? Trump is far too stupid to know anything about an Invasion Clause, this is the work of Stephen Miller. I daresay you’re right.

Methinks that two things are going on here: 1. Greg Abbott feels empowered to go bonkers right now because it’s great political theater and he believes that helps him. Abbot is MAGA all the way. 2. As God is my witness, Texas does this every so often. They threaten to secede. I remember the first time I found out about this was sometime in the 90’s. And the third thing goes without saying: This is great for fundraising. Kick in a sawbuck so that Trump can stop an invasion of aliens, how can you not do that?

Other than Trump, this secession madness is nothing new, I assure you. I was sitting in the living room of my dear friends Duane and Lucile, in their home in Malibu. They were of the WWII generation. They both grew up dirt poor in rural Texas towns but both managed to get scholarships to college at the University of Northern Texas, which is where they met and Duane went off to WWII and was a fighter pilot. They later married, had kids, and were very successful and when I met them they were millionaires living up Las Flores Canyon, in Malibu.

I had just come back into the room after making some coffee and as I entered, Duane started laughing blithely at a news story about his home state seceding from the Union and as he was wiping his eyes he said, “They’re doing it again.” He then explained that this was something cyclical, like the swallows returning to Capistrano. It was incredible then, it’s even more incredible now.

As stated, that was in the 90’s and I have lived to see Texas threaten to secede more than once. It happened again in 2016, that much I can assure you, because I remember it well. It just seems to be part of the rhythm of life down there. Now, Texas has Greg Abbott at the helm and Donald Trump egging him on to sheer lunacy. It will be interesting to see how this sub-plot resolves.