The Trump/Pence campaign is fleecing passing the collection plate to the faithful, so that they can finance the miracle of a Trump reelection. To this end, they sent out their usual fundraising mailer, this time with a personal plea by the Pope of the Trump cult, none other than Mike Pence himself.
Choose the most likely explanation:
- Pence is calling Trump “my father” just like he calls his wife, “mother.” Pence is a very sick puppy.
- Pence is talking about God, his father. Pence just asked God, on your behalf, to forebear from smiting you in the ass with a lightning bolt. However, you’ve got one hour to do this, Jack(ie), or an impatient God is going to let you know what he does with s/he who hesitates.
- Pence has got Trump and God confused. See, Chosen One, et. seq., et al.
- The incompetent phuques who run this campaign cut and pasted from the email of one of Trump’s idiot children, because the campaign is on fire, Parscale’s Death Star is offline, and everyone is running around the room screaming. So this is what you get under the circumstances. What, you think Trump’s reelection campaign is going to run any better than his presidency? Are you daft?
I say wonderful. There’s never enough fodder for attack ads. Just toss this on the pile outside, which is growing as tall and as fast as the You Can’t Make This Shit Up file did back in the early times.
The End Times are coming up soon enough, just not the way Mike Pence thinks.
Oh my! This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Thank you Ursula. I vote for Option 1.
I must see if it’s possible to install polling software on this site. It would be interesting to know the vox populi decision on this.
LOL Number 1..
And it’s another vote for number one, Pence thinks Trump and wife are mommy and daddy. Hoe kay.
Fuck Pence. Fuck his “father” Trump. For good measure, if by “father” Pence meant God then Fuck God if one single asshole has donated so much as a penny based on Pence’s & their own belief the God wants Trump.
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Well, I’m still sitting here at the keyboard with no lighting bolts zapping me to a burnt crisp. None anywhere near me in fact. I’d be willing to bet (according to Pence and his idiot Jeebus goobers I’ve just bet my life) that come tomorrow, the day after that and so on that I won’t be struck by any heaven sent lighting bolts!
Better a lightning bolt than the virus. (It’s a faster and cleaner way to go.)
My take: God never gave much of a shit about these creeps. They had their moment, the moment has now passed and the Universe will roll on without them. As the saying goes, the dog barks, the caravan moves on.
It’s obviously Number 4.
I agree with dana, it’s number 4. They didn’t capitalize father, so I don’t think they mean God. Mike may be stupid, but he is an evangelical. (that could be one and the same)
Ah, shucks. I was hoping that Pence had some real clout with The Almighty and could control lightning for the right price. Color me disillusioned. As Trump would say, “Sad.”
I agree with Cherl and Dana. Number 4 has to be the only possible answer. And Ursula, your description of tRump’s campaign headquarters was spot on. It must be a total cluster.
So Trump is his father and his wife is his mother. Did she and Trump have sex? https://www.politifact.com/article/2018/mar/27/does-mike-pence-call-his-wife-mother/
I can’t hear what you’re saying, Shockwave!!! Lalalala! ?
I love, love, love all the suggested reasons.
Number 4 seems most plausible to me.
Half-assed sums up Team Drumpf pretty well.
As odd as this may sound coming from a Catholic, mike Pence needs to re-read Matthew 23:9. Again. And again.
Right, Underwriter!
Number 4. I recognize the email; I get it from Don Jr or Eric every day.
I used to call him the undertaker given his policies in Indiana buried so many aids victims. Now he appears more like the undead, renfield catching flies to eat, waiting for his master.