Nothing says warm Christian values and fuzzy family vibes like shooting holes in things on Easter weekend, amirite? Maybe they misread previous church edicts that were popular amongst Republicans. Maybe what they saw was, “The family that preys together stays together.” Now that would make sense, if they got preys mixed up with prays. Here is Lara Trump, head of the Republican National Committee and daughter-in-law to Big Daddy himself, sending out holiday cheer.

I don’t know what the black and white is about. Maybe Lara is doing the Black Mirror version of politics these days?

Now I’ve got it: Lara is going to play the Linda Hamilton role in MAGA: Judgement Day. Won’t that be great? And she’s writing the soundtrack now, and hey, this must be principal photography.

And speaking of The Terminator, here’s Trump vowing to be back in his Easter greeting.

Now here’s a gem, AI generated but nevertheless on the mark. I like it better than Lara’s nasal country twang.

Let’s see if Donald Trump goes to church tomorrow and if he manages to drag Melania. She’ll charge him a pretty penny for it, I have no doubt. It is an election year, so Trump needs to get out there and make an appearance.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. “And on the third day Assault Weapon Jeebus emerged from his bunker and beheld the multitudes. As his disciples and Mary fired their own assault weapons into the air and one of them jammed. So Assault Weapon Jeebus broke down the jammed assault rifle to clear the jam, and from re-assembling the parts created perfectly functioning weapons for the thousands gathered and a basket of fully loaded magazines for each of his followers. And Assault Weapon Jeebus commanded them to go forth and distribute Trump Bibles after collecting the $59.95 from heretics who used regular bibles instead of the Dominionist Prosperity Gospel Trump Bible, giving them absolution and forgiveness should they slay anyone who rejected his duly appointed representative Donald Trump by not buying their very own Trump bible. Or who refused to bow down and worship the Trump he and God had given the world…

    4

    • We act like xtianity today is somehow different, more depraved. Speaking as a Jew, what we see today is pretty much what we Jews have observed almost since xtianity’s inception; the difference in the details is negligible.

      But you all have a real good time on Ishtar. lmao

      4

      • Don’t confuse genuine Christians with the even jelly, make up your own religion, that is so prominent nowadays.

        What makes me laugh up my sleeve is their claim to follow the Bible and are very fond of the Old Testament (Torah to you) but ask them when they last had a ham sandwich (or anything else on the trefah list) or follow some of the other laws and norms as set out

        They tend to follow fragmented passages (and ignore most of the rest)

  2. Eggs occupy a special status during Easter observances. They’re symbols of rebirth and renewal—life bursts forth from this otherwise plain, inanimate object that gives no hint as to what it contains. In this regard it is a handy symbol for the resurrection of Jesus Christ, but it is is a symbol that has held this meaning long before Christianity adopted it. Easter was originally the celebration of Ishtar, the Assyrian and Babylonian goddess of fertility and sex. Her symbols (like the egg and bunny) were and still are fertility and sex symbols (or did you actually think eggs and bunnies had anything to do with the resurrection?) After Constantine decided to Christianize the Empire, Easter was changed to represent Jesus. But at its roots, Easter (which is how you pronounce Ishtar) is all about celebrating fertility and sex.

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