I write a lot of Onion-esque headlines here. The fact of the matter is, the more absurd and Onion-esque they may seem to you, the more literally true they are. Somebody actually said this.
Ali Alexander was one of the “American patriots” — to use a term of art coined by Ivanka Trump that day — of January 6. He was one of the guys on the front lines who wanted to smash it all up, burn it all down, watch people get injured, die, etc.
You know this guy was a bit of a character, but did you know he was Herschel Walker bat$hit crazy? I’ll bet you didn’t. Therefore, without further ado, learn the tragic truth.
Ali Alexander claims that he can "will" Kari Lake's election victory "into existence" and also that he can travel through time. Seriously. He literally said that. Here is the video. pic.twitter.com/SsHjxtQtPK
— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) November 14, 2022
If you don’t find that display compelling enough evidence of how nuts Alexander is, this should convince you.
LOL, did you catch this one? pic.twitter.com/7XBuKQB6RF
— Peter Huestis (@RealSparklePony) November 14, 2022
Oh, yes, Ali. Get ready, they’re going to hand the speaker’s gavel to you. Uh, huh.
What’s that you say? HOW do people time travel? I knew you were going to ask that…maybe Alex Jones sells them a supplement? Or, maybe Dr. Oz has a time tunnel in the gym in his New Jersey basement?
So Ali can time travel and change elections but he’s gonna do it for Kari Lake and not for Trump 2020?
Whaddya waiting for big guy??
— Drain The Trumps 🇺🇸 (@DrainTheTrumps) November 14, 2022
Is Mary Trump willing to give a MAGA discount for counseling services, ya spose? Because I think she can do a land office business. They are cracking up by the dozen.
Yeah, if you can time travel, Ali, I think you better go back to Roman times, get the legions, bring them forward in time and register them as Republicans, and then have them vote Trump in by the eight million votes or whatever it was that he claimed he got. Twelve million. Something. I think that’s your best shot at this point.
Either that, or go ask Mike Lindell for lots of MyPillows and go give yourself up for voluntary commitment.
Cray as a shit-house rat.
This was seriously weird. I was even wondering if Alexander was setting himself up to cop an insanity defense. Who knows what might be revealed about his participation in January 6, right?
I can travel through time!!
The snag, however, is that I can only go to the future and it takes a full 24 hours to move forward one day (and there’s no way back)
Yeah, we travel at one second per second.
Alexander’s will is very weak. Hobbs wins!
How we got from an act of will to time travel, was a bit strange, but I guess they’re related.
Group.therapy might help. A lot of it. And antipsychotics.
I don’t know about ALL Jews, but I frequently travel thru time. Many afternoons, in fact.
It’s quite a secret but I will share the science with all of you. It requires a couch and a DVR with old Star Trek reruns, Jeopardy episodes, etc, although CNN or MSNBC might do in a pinch. I lie down on the couch and turn on something old, preferably that I’ve watched a bajillion times before (hence, Star Trek). Within minutes, I have magically been transported 60-90 minutes forward thru time. Poof! It’s amazing!!! ‘Course, I haven’t figured out going BACK ward in time yet, but I’m working on it. Promise to let you all know when I’ve figured THAT one out.
I think he finally got around to watching “Somewhere in Time” and thought is was a documentary. Then he added a dose of antisemitism.
*IT was, Lordy, an edit button, please!