Wow. I guess they’re finally finished eating their young, because now they’re going straight for the old, gnarly geezers. Kind of like those cheetahs in the nature flicks, going after the oldest, sickest wildebeest.

In this episode of Wild Kingdom the part of the old, sick wildebeest is played by Donald Trump, in an Oscar worthy performance. Man, nobody does a diseased wildebeest better that Traitor Tot. And in the role of the cheetahs, we have the Proud Boys, and at least one of their lawyers.

No shit. Earlier today in federal court in Washington DC, in the Proud Boys sedition trial, at least some of the Boys are claiming that it’s Trump who belongs on trial, not them. After all, he was the President, and he called them to DC and gave them their marching orders. And then the lawyer fired off a full clip at His Lowness by announcing that he was planning on subpoenaing Trump to testify on his client’s behalf.

Whoa. How is the Teflon Con going to wriggle out of this one? Trump can’t claim Executive Privilege because a) He’s not the President anymore, and b) The Proud Boys weren’t Cabinet members or designated close advisors. And he can’t use the Political Discourse excuse either. First, he had already lost the goddamned election, why is he giving a rally? And second, find another politician that tells a bunch of semi literate mouth breathers that he already knows are armed with semi automatic weapons to March to the Capitol!, and bust up everybody’s shit. Oh yeah, and he’s a private citizen now.

And because it’s FrankenTrump, it’s like a late night Popiel ad on tv, But wait! There’s more! While it’s the defense attorney who wants to subpoena Trump, he wants the federal government to round him up and bring him to court! The lawyer’s reasoning is that since El Pendejo Presidente was in fact Presidente when he made the inflammatory statements, it’s the governments job to make him available. Slick.

I so love this! While I’m not sure how much luck the defense attorney is going to have getting the judge to make the FBI and Secret Service into his own personal process servers, he’s actually laid a very neat and clever trap, not only for Trump, but for the judge as well. I’ll explain.

The first thing the trial judge will have to do is to decide is whether or not to allow the defense to subpoena Trump for testimony. If he rules against them, that’s a primo grounds for appeal in  my eye, since Trump is nothing if not a relevant fact witness. And if he rules for the defense, then Trump will immediately go to court to try to quash the subpoena. Which gives the defense lawyer a plausible reason to argue before the judge that his client(s) should be released on bail pending the resumption of the trial after all litigation. Either way, they’re going to be writing books about this one.

But the one standing on the bulls-eye is Trump. I don’t see how The Cheeto Prophet gets out of this. There’s no privilege, those were public statements he made on live television. He can certainly be called to testify as to what he meant when he said that shit. And then he’s boned either way. If he gets arrogant and snotty and tries to bullshit his way out of it, he gives Jack Smith fresh brush for his witch hunt! bonfire. And if he pleads the 5th Amendment, he does it in open court, where the assembled reporters can gleefully keep count, before joyfully running in front of the cameras to report in on his chickenshit performance.

This is going to be fascinating to watch. And if nothing else, it’s just one more pay-as-you-go legal bill for the Trumpster Fire. Don’t touch that dial.

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  1. I wonder if he would break his record of 440 times of pleading the 5th? Where’s Dave Chapelle when you need him? Malignant narcissism is remarkable in one way…it seems to insulate against stresses that would easily cause an average person a stroke, or a visit to a locked psychiatric hospital.



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