If You Want Stupid Done Right, Do It Yourself!

I’m a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout   Nursery rhyme

You know, this takes a special kind of stupid. This is like somebody who spends something like 12 years in idiot college getting a PhD in Existential Stupid, and he shines so brightly that they give him the Chair in the Department of Theoretical Insanity.

Here’s the thing you have to always understand and never forget. Traitor Tot is totally transactional. He lives purely in whatever moment of desperation is most urgent. His only hope of spending his declining years breathing free air, and not looking like a pumpkin balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is to become President again. And so everything he does is engineered towards firing up his mental midget base for November.

But Trump is like a man on an African safari without a mosquito net. He is besieged by mosquitos, and who the hell knows that a tsetse fly looks like? So he’s running around like an idiot, swatting at himself with towels soaked in Off!, and just trying to stay ahead of the game.

Trump’s legal parasites announced this weekend that El Pendejo Presidente will be appearing in court personally for both the Tuesday hearing before the DC Circuit Court of Appeals, and then will befoul the courtroom in New York on Thursday for the closing arguments in NY AG Letitia James’s civil fraud trial against Trump, his monkey spawn, and his worthless company. Which is basically a double barrel shotgun blast of inspired stupid.

Here’s why. The hearing on Tuesday is in front of the federal appellate court in DC, hearing oral arguments on his idiotic claim of absolute immunity on itsd way to the Supreme Court. And on Thursday he’s attending the closing arguments in his civil fraud trial in New York.

And here’s the McGuffin. Trump. Can’t. Open. His. Big. Fat. New. York. Mouth! In the appellate hearing, the only people allowed to address the court are the lawyers on each side. Anybody wishing to address the court would have had to do so through the Amicus Brief process. And if The Mango Messiah wanted to talk to his New York judge, he should have plunked hid fat ass in the witness chair and testified on his own behalf.

What Trump is doing is nothing more than self indulgent sophistry, as stupid as it is senseless. What is he going to do in that courtroom, sit at the defense table and scowl at those judges? That’s like an 8 yo getting caught spit balling the teacher, getting sent to the Principals office, and then sitting in the chair and scowling at the Principal as if to say, That’s right! I’m a badass. Wadda ya gonna do, sucker? News Flash! for The Scruffy Guru. Usually it’s the judge that scowls down at the defendant just before he sends him upstate for 20 years.

Now that kind of stupid is worthy of enshrinement in the Moron Hall of Fame. But now His Lowness is shooting for the stars. He wants a pedestal in the Pantheon of Brain Dead Stupidity. The idiot has decided that he’s going to try to play the refs. 

Which is hysterical. Because normally when a player or coach tries to play the refs, they’re either trying to plant a seed in their minds that either they aren’t doing anything wrong, or that the player(s) on the other team are doing something worse, so go after them and not me/us.

But what the mental deficient is trying to do is to pull his Slobfather sh*t, and start calling in markers! First he has his female mouthpiece, whom nobody wants opening her mouth in public, and went on the Trump Ministry of Propaganda, FUX News. When questioned about the appeals to be heard by the Supreme Court, she calmly said, We’ve told the President he has nothing to worry about. He appointed three Supreme Court justices. Like Justice Kavanaugh. He went through hell to get Kavanaugh on the bench, and we have no doubt that Justice Kavanaugh will step up and do the right thing then the time comes. sweet Jesus, nothing like shining a spotlight on a guy and demanding, Watcha gonna do, sucka?!

Apparently that was just a bit too excessive, even for a mongoloid like Hair Twitler. He went on FUX News to try to smooth down some of those feathers, at leas as well as a one man wrecking crew like Trump can smooth down anything, We have three very fine conservative justices on the Supreme Court. I worked very hard to get them on the bench, and I can only hope that they’ll be fair to me when the time comes. Dear Lord, nothing quite like intimating, I put you in there chumps, I can take you back out again. 

Here’s the f*cking problem. He can’t! Why do you think that so many Trump appointed judges threw his dumb ass out of federal court on all of those bullsh*t voter election fraud cases? Even in the unlikely circumstance that The Cheeto Jesus were returned to the White House, he couldn’t even make a move to expel federal judges without a constitutional amendment. The constitution gives federal judges a guaranteed lifetime appointment. 

And they know it, believe that. Whether you’re stolen seat Neal Gorsuch, black sheep Brewski Brett Kavanaugh, or RBG death wish stealing Amy Coney Barrett, from the day you were sworn in, you were sworn in as Trump’s Supreme Court Justice. And Trump has never let them forget it.

And if you’re one of Trump’s appointed Justices, what better opportunity will ever come along to prove your independence from FrankenTrump? In the next 6-8 weeks the Supreme Court is already locked into hearing expedited oral arguments on two motions that will shape the future of The Pampers President.

The SCOTUS has already set aside February 8th for oral arguments on Trump’s eligibility to appear on state ballots under the 14th Amendment challenges brought by several states. And the SCOTUS has already indicated that it will expedite a hearing on Trump’s absolute immunity appeal, once the DC appellate court has ruled.

If you’re a Trump appointed justice, what better way to show your independence from that fat, arrogant slob, with no respect of the judiciary? Of you rule that Trump’s absolute immunity excuse os bullsh*t, then you send the case back down to Judge Chutnak for trial, and Trump spends the primaries in federal court, fighting for his freedom.

And if you decide that the 14th Amendment really does prohibit Trump from appearing on the ballot, or even that it just belongs to the states to determine his eligibility, then you leave it up to critical swing states like Arizona and Michigan to decide whether Trump is even eligible to appear on the ballots, and collect the electoral college votes if he wins.

You know, when I was a kid, and I really, really wanted something from my mother, I’d do the vacuuming and make her tea. And when I was older, if I wanted the car, I would mow the lawn, and take the car to get it washed. Only Trump tries to appeal to the three most important people in his personal and professional freedom, and tells them, You three had better do what I want, or I’m gonna,,, I’m gonna,,, I’m gonna pay you guys back later! What a d*ck.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.