On the same day that Texas’ GOP Governor and GOP Senior Senator were meeting with President Biden to tour the damage done by the state’s insane energy policy, their junior Senator, Ted Cruz made another road trip to a warm, dry state, blowing into Orlando. As I said before, different fart, same stink.
If Cruz blew into CPAC in Orlando to prove that if being a fat, loud, obnoxious, soulless dick with bad hair were the prerequisites to be the party’s 2024 nominee, then he’s your man? Mission accomplished. Anything else, forget about it. What Cruz came across like was a weird combination of a terrible, backwoods tent revival preacher, and a guy with a bullhorn in Lafayette Square.
Actually, Brother Love’s Ted’s Traveling Salvation Show was quite the sight to see. He came out storming and stomping all over the stage, screaming at the top of his lungs, like a third rate defense attorney when the prosecution’s evidence is really, really good. He started out trying to fluff the city of Orlando, but stepped on top of the applause to make a stupid joke about his even more stupid trip to Cancun. If this trip bombs, I’m betting he blames it on Heidi and the kids, too. Cruz obviously felt rushed. So much bile, so little time.
Whether he intended to in Orlando or not, Cruz exposed a potentially serious problem he has down the road. Namely, his blissful ignorance of optics, and the effects of his ill timed sarcasm.
Cruz is up for reelection to the Senate in 2024, the same year as the next Presidential cycle. If he gets an early start, he has plenty of time to compete early, and if it comes a cropper, file the paperwork to run for reelection to the Senate. The problem is that with his words and actions, Cruz may be unintentionally painting himself into a corner where he has no choice but to risk it all on the White House run.
Right now, Cruz is still being pestered by occasional protesters showing up in front of his homes with signs reading Cancun Cruz, and Resign Now! The last thing his pissed off constituents want to see is him at CPAC, making an ugly joke about jetting off to Cancun while they were literally freezing to death. They want contrition and penance, not sarcasm and disdain.
And worse yet, he’s letting this shit get caught on film. In a Senate run, either against a Democratic opponent in the general, or against a primary from the right, the ads write themselves. Show Texans freezing in the dark, then cut to a coatless Cruz settling himself into his seat on the airplane. Cut to Texans waiting in long lines for food and water, then cut to Cruz at CPAC, making a snide joke about his trip to Cancun and the public outrage. You don’t even need a voice over to make the point.
And it’s just as deadly in a, God forbid, presidential general election. Every cycle has the inevitable 3 a.m. phone call ad slamming a President’s readiness. This one literally writes itself. Scene: A dark bedroom, with a red phone ringing insistently on the bedside table, It’s 3 a.m. in the White House, and the emergency phone is ringing. And where is President Cruz? At Joint Base Andrews with Heidi and the kids, boarding Air Force One for Cancun. Is this the kind of leadership you want in your President?Â
And despite all of the time and effort Cruz presumably put into his speech, he couldn’t even mail the grand finale. The first thing that every comic learns is that you open with your second best joke, and close with your best one, the rest is just jokes. Cruz stormed across the stage and screamed, In the words of the immortal patriot William Wallace, Freedom!!! What?
William Wallace is of course Braveheart, the Scottish independence patriot portrayed by Mel Gibson. Cruz is a US Senator in the world’s oldest and most successful constitutional democracy. After 240 years of struggle, courage, bloodshed, and sacrifice, couldn’t Cruz be bothered to find an American patriot to quote in his closing? After, isn’t the GOP the patriotic party? What a loser.
Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35
Cruz, like most of the GQP, doesn’t get humor at all. (They punch down, and think it’s funny. When people punch up at them, they whine about it.)
God, I hope Beto runs against him again. He’s certainly keeping himself out there and in people’s minds by DOING GOOD. The contrast with Teddy Boy is stark.
“In a Senate run, either against a Democratic opponent in the general, or against a primary from the right, the ads write themselves.”
I really doubt that the type of ad you described would be used by a GOP primary opponent; that’s exactly what the GOP primary opponent would hope to emulate.
I really liked (NOT) that TED thew his little girls under the bus saying it was they’re idea to go South while most of us were freezing. And his wife inviting all of their neighbors to go too. And then to see him in serving in a food line.
I don’t have the answers to what could have been done but I know there are a lot of great Texas people whose ideas could have helped. The Navy taught me that you face a problem. TED ran and I will remember what he did when when he comes up for election be it four years or when ever.
Can we send him back and get a refund!