Hey Dorothy! You’re Not In Kansas Anymore!

Believe me, I’ve seen George Santos before. I’ve seen him for the last six years every time I look at Donald Trump, and I saw him up close and personal in my sociopathic ex wife.

Look, I’m no psychiatrist or Psychologist, so I’m unqualified to say whether it’s congenital, learned, inherent, or destructively compulsive. All I know is that they start out small, and every damn little thing they get away with only makes them more arrogant and empowered.  And somewhere along the line, they begin to feel invincible.

I’ve written extensively about Traitor Tot, and his long and sordid history, so I’ll waste no characters, nor your time on a recap here. But when you look at Special Counsel Jack Smith asking senior DC circuit court judge Beryl Howell to ramrod former VP mike Pence into testifying before the grand jury, and the forewoman of the Fulton County grand jury dropping 10 gallon hints that Trump is about to be indicted, he must have  chills down his spine that at last he’s finally run out of runway.

George Santos truly is Trump’s Mini-Me. Nobody really knows the history of his childhood, but I’d be surprised if George Santos wasn’t bullshitting for profit by the time he was 10. It takes time to get your basic facial expressions and verbal bullshit together before you take your show on the road. But just look at his early years;

• Santos allegedly purloined and cashed a check made out to a family friend. The Brazilian police start investigating. Solution? Move to the United States, knowing you’re not worth the effort, and besides, the US has no extradition treaty with Brazil
• Use your charms to swindle a female personal friend out of her expensive jewelry, by promising to take it for safekeeping, since she lives in a dangerous neighborhood, and then go to some other neighborhood, where she’s unlikely to find you, with her jewelry in your pocket
• Once you’re in the US, find yourself some dim bulb roommates. And over a number of months rip them off of cash in the apartment, loose jewelry worth pawning, and even high end designer clothes that fit. Then skedaddle. They’ll call you every name in the book, but won’t do much more

Just like His Lowness Santos has made a career of being a 3rd rate grifter, only not by a path as profitable as real estate. They skate by by not being worth the trouble of chasing them down and going through the trouble of prosecution. But just like El Pendejo Presidente, Santos has stepped over a line, several of them actually, and it’s about to cost him;

• Santos, using his American citizenry, married a Brazilian woman and brought her to the United States with a resident visa, even though Santos is openly gay. The woman obtained her citizenship, Santos divorced her before his first congressional run in 2020, and now she’s using her US citizenship to sponsor a Brazilian national she met and married for permanent resident status
• Santos is also credibly accused of befriending a disabled combat Navy military veteran, and scammed him into letting Santos set up and administer a GoFundMe page to raise money for cancer surgery for the vet’s cancer stricken dog. Santos raised more than $3000, and then disappeared with the cash without a trace. The service dog died
• The New York Times did a deep dive on Santos’s 2022 FEC campaign filings, and found glaring errors. They found that the Santos campaign had a $326,000 unexplained gap in their campaign expenditures. My favorite was the multiple expenditures of %199.99, a lousy penny shy of the $200 FEC filing limit that requires receipts. The catch? There were freakin’ 1200 of them which accounts to a cool $230,000 of freshly laundered cash

Just like his mentor, Dipshit Donnie, George Santos got carried away, thought he was invincible, and took his lame ass game to the next level. The Orange Shitgibbon is finding out that seditious conspiracy and attempted voter fraud on a mass scale are in a little different category.

And now, so is George Santos. Or let’s say he would be if he had an intelligent thought in his head. because he got away with all that cheap shit, he thinks all he has to do is to lay his lead low, and wait for it to blow over. The problem is that Santos doesn’t know how to lay his head low, he keeps popping his head up and giving stupid, self incriminatory interviews to anybody with a camera and a microphone. No wonder Cavein McCarthy’s hair is gray.

George Santos is now under active criminal investigation by more agencies than he can count without using a calculator. For starters, there are local jurisdictions in New York state, as well as the NY Attorney General that are looking into his shenanigans. But that’s chicken scratch when you look at the federal Golden Corral buffet of agencies looking at his possibly criminal behavior.

For instance, the Department of Immigration and Naturalization Services is actively looking into the background and circumstances of his earlier marriage to a foreign woman while being gay, as well as his divorce before running for office. Engaging in a fraudulent marriage in order to bypass current US immigration laws is a federal crime, punishable by, I believe a minimum 5 years in federal prison.

Also, the Federal Elections Commission is now on his portly ass over his federal campaign filings. Not just the discrepancies in his campaign finance forms, but also over the fact that it was publicly reported that his campaign finance director Resigned in January of 2023. By regulations the campaign has 10 days to advise the FEC of the name of the campaign finance director. They sent him a certified letter in the 2nd week of February asking him to update his information on their database.

And moreover, the Department of Justice is now looking into his campaign finance irregularities, to the extent that they’ve sent a letter to the FEC to forestall any investigation or determination of their own while the DOJ conducts its own investigation.

Georgie! You’re not in Kansas anymore. You’ve spent your entire life skimming around the edges of local and county authorities with your 3rd rate scams, and you just haven’t been worth the effort to track you down, charge you, and prosecute you just to get an 18 month sentence. But your arrogance and stupidity have elevated you to the major leagues.

You’re dealing with the federal government now, and the federal government doesn’t waste its time on bottom feeder shitkickers like you without a reason. And once they do take an interest, they have the full weight and force of their departments behind them. Just like local and state authorities, they don’t waste time on chump change. And now they’re all looking at you.

The INS is looking into your reportedly sham marriage in order to get a Brazilian woman access to permanent residency in the US. My son in law is a Canadian, and he and my daughter had to jump through endless hoops to get him his permanent residency status. INS takes this shit seriously, to the point that they told my daughter and son in law that they would do a home visit with a 24 hour advance notice, and they had better both be there. I watched those proceedings from afar, and Bubba, I’m here to tell you, you’re in the hurt locker. Especially with your big mouth over the particulars of the incident.

The DOJ has asked the FEC to hold off on any official findings or sanctions for Santos’s alleged violations while they do their own investigation, but that doesn’t mean that the FEC won’t do their own internal investigation. And while the

FEC is normally thought of as a toothless tiger, since the panel is gridlocked with an equal number of Republicans and Democrats, Santos himself is so slimy that slugs pour salt on him. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the FEC came out with their own sanctions once they get the go ahead from the DOJ.

But the kill shit is the DOJ. I don’t know if it’s still true, but when I was younger, in order to get into the FBI Academy you had to have either a law degree or an accounting degree.  The FBI wasn’t turning out a cadre of harness bulls on the street, they wanted their agents to be able to not only investigate, but evaluate their cases with an educated edge.

PR problems notwithstanding, these guys are sharks. They brought down Enron. They brought down Bernie Madoff. They brought down Leona Helmsley and Martha Stewart. They brought down Pablo Escobar. And here, Santos is so stupid that if his campaign filed a form that ran into trouble, they simply filed another form, removing the offending data, and either replacing it with other offending data, or just not replacing it at all! The thing that keeps sticking in my craw is that $240,000 of missing cash from 1200 expenditures for $199.99. That has money laundering written all over it.

But one word of warning. Don’t expect any tantalizing leaks or explosive disclosures from any of these agencies. This isn’t the Trump administration. These guys aren’t media hounds. They’ll do their investigations, evaluate the evidence, testimony, and data, and if they reach a conclusion, they’ll call a press conference when they have indictments or sanctions to announce. And if I’m George Santos, I’m seriously looking at just how much hard time I’m looking at for that fraudulent check charge before I get back on a plane to Brasilia. Just keep a pin stuck in this one.