HAHA! Mike Lindell Thinks He Can Win A Lawsuit With No Plaintiffs and No Lawyers!!

Where oh where was Mike Lindell when I was in law school? I put myself through night law school in the 90’s and I must say, there was not a lot to laugh about. Talk about 80 hour weeks between my day job and night school and dinners which consisted of pretzels and nuts out of a machine. If only Mike Lindell had been there to show us how utterly hilarious the practice of law could be, it would have raised our spirits. We knew the law was many things, a jealous lover to be sure, but we didn’t know it was a drop dead laugh riot.

As you read earlier, Lindell’s lawsuit wasn’t filed with the Supreme Court and now we find out why, exactly. Just a few technical errors here, like no named plaintiffs and no lawyers. But aside from that how was it, you ask? Oh, dunno. Guess we’ll have to get a copy of the whole thing and reread all the conspiracy theories we’ve seen for ten months now.

The claim seems to rely on an Electors Clause theory that the Supreme Court declined to hear last year and a state standing argument that it rejected when Texas sued. And until [insert Your State] agrees to file, the court wouldn't have jurisdiction anyway.

— Brad Heath (@bradheath) November 24, 2021

Well, what’s up with Insert Your State anyhow? I thought somebody was going to have a long talk with her and get her to see the light. This is important business, this reinstatement, decertification stuff and she better get a move on and start taking things seriously. What’s that you say? Take my what and insert it where? That’s a lot more legal than this lawsuit is, I’ll tell you that much.

It claims that President Biden acted unconstitutionally by not fixing problems in the 2020 election, which 1) isn't something the president can do; and 2) he wasn't the president then. pic.twitter.com/3fO7UUDHqx

— Brad Heath (@bradheath) November 24, 2021

Anyway, I read Lindell's complaint. tl;dr:

* This is not an actual lawsuit
* The court already said it wouldn't hear this stuff
* It's a huge grab-bag of conspiracies, most of which have been known to be false for an entire year now
* An actual lawyer wrote this

Caveat emptor.

— Brad Heath (@bradheath) November 24, 2021

I would love to know how much Lindell paid a lawyer to draft this POS. I’ll bet it was plenty. After all, Dennis Montgomery of Scorecard and Hammer fame, the guy who convinced Dubya that he could find Al Queda messages in Al Jazeera broadcasts, bought a luxury home in Florida with the money that Lindell paid him for the cyber symposium.

Sooooo, now the plan is that True Believers of the Trump Cult need to get out there to the governments of their respective states and get one of those attorneys general to sign up in the slot where it says Insert Your State. And then it would be nice if one of them would persuade a lawyer or two of their acquaintance to take the case and prosecute it.

So where does that leave us, friends?

1. Lindell will finally find an AG to join this thing;
2. Lindell will move the goalposts out to the end of the year;
3. Lindell will push the RNC conspiracy theory and sell pictures of Ronna McDaniel riding a broom;
4. Dominion will put him out of business and this won’t be an issue anymore.

I guess the Thanksgiving Marathon is still on. Haven’t heard it was canceled. Maybe Lindell can keep selling pillows, even though he keeps disappointing his audience, ya spose?