It’s said that the coverup is usually worse than the crime. In Clarence Thomas’s case, the rhapsodizing about his inner child longing for his basic roots and simple pleasures is coming back to haunt him with a vengeance. You may recall his comments in a documentary, which were then repeated in the bombshell ProPublica article that broke last week.

“I don’t have any problem with going to Europe, but I prefer the United States, and I prefer seeing the regular parts of the United States. … I prefer the RV parks. I prefer the Walmart parking lots to the beaches and things like that. There’s something normal to me about it.”

Oh, we know how you feel, Clare. We really do. We feel the same way. I can only speak for myself, but given a choice between poulet dijonnais and Dippin’ Dots, you know which way I’ll roll, right? I thought so. I, too, long for the corridors of Walmart over the castles of Wittenberg, who would not?  Read Alexandra Petri’s satire in the Washington Post. You will love it.

Please keep in mind, my fellow Americans, that each moment I spent on the yacht was torment! That is why I did not disclose it. It was not my idea of a vacation. Every second I spent on those magnificent islands, in those bucolic retreats, eating meals cooked by private chefs, I was seething internally, wishing I were in a Walmart parking lot.

“Is everything to your liking?” numerous solicitous waitstaff aboard the yacht asked, and I sighed, dropping my cigar butt into the provided ashtray with a heavy heart. “No,” I said. “This — ” here I indicated the blue sky, the balmy sea breeze — “is not my idea of a good time, for I am a man of the people, with the tastes of the people, and I wish I were pursuing amusement as they do, by driving to Walmart on the weekend to make memories.”

A tear came to my eye as I spoke, for I could picture them so clearly, the happy weekenders, the salts of the earth who flocked to Walmart parking lots for their entertainment. Their children in the back seats, clamoring, “Walmart! Walmart! Walmart!” Their wrinkled elders, saving their pennies so that they could arrive at that cherished destination. Those parking lots are so full, always, and that is surely because they are a magnet for Americans who want to enjoy themselves. […]

All the private jet flights? Well, they lack the comfort and security of a larger plane, and I do not get to watch the charming United preflight video or rejoice in the whimsical Southwest safety announcements, nor partake in the American family pastime of sitting in an airport (that heaven on earth, full of shops and treats!) for hours while my flight is delayed and delayed and then canceled. I am denied such joys. Do you not feel sorry for me, when you hear that?

Ah, Clarence, you’re just like Donald. And Jesus. You suffer for us. You take in all the awfulness so that we don’t have to. We are so in your debt. I hope we meet in the local Walmart. I’ll keep an eye out for your Bentley. I’ll be in the sea of white Hondas. We’ll have an ice cream. Soft-serve of course. Let somebody else have the mousse au chocolate and the cherries jubilee. We’re real folks.

Help keep the site running, consider supporting.


  1. Since impeachment is not an attainable goal, Chief Justice Roberts should find some way to force this most corrupt justice to resign. And while he’s at it confront Alito as well. There must be some way to force them out. I just don’t think Roberts has the intestinal fortitude to do it. If I were Roberts, I would resign and allow Biden to name a Chief Justice that can actually do the job of running an ethical, legal court.

    I appreciate Alexandra Petri’s wit and shade thrown, but Thomas proved at his nomination hearing that he feels no shame, no matter the charges.

    • Roberts resign? My first reaction was suuuuuurrrre! Donald Trump will turn into a decent human being before that would happen. Then I thought about it a bit. Roberts was rather young when elevated to the Chief Justice role, and had several decades to look forward to in his tenure. He had grand dreams about his legacy. Sure, he had every intention of being the Federalist Society F-wad OPERATIVE he was GROOMED to be, but he intended and for a long time did things the way the whole plan was envisioned. Sure, there was the odd decision, especially Citizens United that were breathtaking audacity and major game changers but the whole point of the Federalist Society’s framework was stealth. The took a long view – thirty, forty or more years of incremental changes towards their vision of what the law should be. Taking small bites so as not to attract too much notice.

      And Roberts? He was exactly what they wanted – a smart, level-headed guy who would play the game and reshape the law to a conservative vision more in line with times before the Constitution. The Articles of Confederation era when a handful of rich landowners made up whatever rules suited them. But the lion’s share of the work would take place in the first two decades or so of this century. Things would get moved along mostly gradually and with some luck and the built in GOP electoral college advantage they might wind up with five or more Federalist Society GROOMED Justices. And come say 2030, when all the seeds planted during the first two decades or so of Robert’s tenure had germinated bolder steps could be taken.

      Roberts saw early on a chance for a legacy, a “Roberts Court” that would be known with a handful of others and judged well by history. Well, with McConnel’s antics denying Obama a Justice (Garland) that started to fray. Over time it may come out how Kenney was forced into retirement before he’d planned in order to get Trump a second pick and make the court significantly more conservative because although both Roberts and the new Justice Gorsuch would sometimes be a swing vote it would be much less so than Kennedy. And we got Kavanaugh with all the ugliness he could bring to the job. Then RBG passed and with utter comtempt (I will ALWAYS believe some Republicans went over to Arlington National Cemetery and celebrated at her grave before it was even dug – maybe tossing taunts at her husband’s buried body) and Roberts has no control anymore. Nor the Federalist Society. Just like the Koch Brother’s “Tea Party” grew beyond their control.

      Roberts now will have a legacy, but not the one he’d dreamed of. When history looks at the “Roberts Court) it won’t be kind. Not only will how we got to that 6-3 majority be a theme, but some of the “too big a bite of the apple” like Citizens United will get harsh treatment too! History is not going to be at all kind to Roberts.

      Which brings me back to your bold suggestion. He’s facing a choice – lose little or lose big when it comes to his legacy. If he were to resign, he could salvage some of it especially if he spends his retirement years teaching and giving lectures that, even if only gently take the court’s fire-breathers, Thomas, Alito, Kavanaugh and Barrett to task. His legacy still won’t ever be what he’s spent a couple of decades dreaming about but the injury would be minimized. Or, he can stay and forever be tarred by his association with the Federalist Society and the other five Justices it managed to get installed on the Court. And his legacy will lose BIG. Helluva choice. But one he ought to start giving some serious thought to. Even if Democrats control the Senate and give the GOP a dose of their own medicine by ramming through a solid liberal in a speedy fashion.

    • This isn’t the first time, and unfortunately, I suspect, not the last time, that the Roberts court has come under scrutiny. Things have changed.

  2. In the position he holds in OUR top court, he should consider the, “APPEARENCE”, of his personal conduct, NOT deciding to leave all the trash about his free ride with one of the root providers for the GOP to be discovered and released later to the public, he should have claimed his friendship with this person up front and mentioned the occasions as, “GIFTED”, maybe making him eligible for some special tax rate, as those trips and luxury add up to some impressive cash benefits …

    Personally, those kind of deals, go beyond my comprehension … flying on your own plan to be dropped into a local airport in some exotic world location, stepping into the provided limo, having your baggage delivered to your designated luxury hotel, along with you and your wife, going up to the front desk, having the reservation in the hands of the local crew already for you and saying, “Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, to our Hotel, your room is ready and your luggage is already on the way up there, perhaps you would like to visit our lounge for some refreshments before you retire … All meals and refreshments are complimentary, if you prefer, you may request a waiter and private meals in your room …”

    A dream world of incredible money, nothing WE will ever see, but HEY, this guy has a LOT of responsibility to the Republican Party, he’d hate to have to bend against their wishes and vote to allow women to retake control of their own bodies … I suppose he does claim his wife has NOTHING to do with his job as a Justice …

  3. Kind of surprised he hasn’t thrown wifey-wife under the bus and blame HER for “forcing” him to engage in all these hoity-toity vacations overseas. Maybe he’s just waiting for the right time?

  4. Thomas would have to be caught mainlining adrenachrome straight from the arm of a Gerber baby to get any Republican to support impeachment while a Democrat holds the presidency.

  5. Supreme Court Justice, a lying piece of excrement. Oh, wait, several of them are and they are all Republicans. Must be an accident, right? They couldn’t be that evil or stupid. Or could they?


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The maximum upload file size: 128 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here