We have a great cosmic event ahead of us, friends. Yes, I know, the eclipse has come and gone. I’m speaking of an even greater cosmic event, Donald Trump in his first (but not last) criminal trial. Like the four horses of the apocalypse racing to the four corners of the earth, Trump has four criminal trials and the first one starts a week from today.

And oh yes, he has done everything in his power and then some to get it delayed. Fuggedaboutit, said the last judge he begged for a continuance. So now questions are being prepared for jurors and to get you in the mood for how simultaneously ridiculous and satisfying this trial will be, here is the one and only Maggie Reed, channeling her inner Stormy Daniels.

The punchline is “Daddy never had a garbanzo bean on his face.”

Now you thought that I was joking about whether Trump’s d!ck could be photographed and said photograph offered into evidence, didn’t you? No. I kid you not. Like I’ve said before, if I could make this stuff up I’d be running Hollywood. I am merely a stenographer here, all this insanity is on the internet, and I bring it here so you can tell me if you see it, too.

No, here’s where the photographing of Trump’s little friend came into the conversation, is  Tweet 7 in this thread.

Trump is in utter dread right now on a number of levels. First of all, he has to be in court four days out of every week. He is going to look horrible (literally and figuratively) and he knows it. Secondly, people that he once controlled, or believed he controlled, are now in the catbird seat. Trump thought he had Stormy all tucked away and taken care of. As to Michael Cohen, he owned Cohen. If Trump said “jump” Cohen said, “How high?” That is no more.

And the level of detail that these two can spew out will be brutal. Trump clearly has some idea or he would not have gone to all the desperate lengths that he has to get this trial delayed, continued, the judge removed, all his machinations.

This is going to be the E. Jean Carroll trial on steroids.

Now if you didn’t see Jimmy Kimmel’s version of the porn movie that Stormy and Donald made, commemorating their tryst, watch it now.

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4 COMMENTS

    • Trump deserves everything negative that comes his way. He’s not like the yous and mes, where he can be reasoned with. People who have known him his entire life have said he refuses to reason, he just forces his will on everybody. So he deserves it all.

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