Alina Habba Uses Penthouse Forum Vocabulary To Describe Her Post-Election Plans With Trump

Alina Habba is the new Kimberly Guilfoyle, meaning the latest demagogue with a law degree that got seduced into Dark MAGA and the service of the Mango Messiah. Although in fairness to Guilfoyle, she was a prosecutor of some merit at one point and Habba has been referred to as a parking lot lawyer, prior to her rebirth as a famous litigator in Manhattan. But all roads lead to ruin, if you’re a lawyer and if you get on the magic Trump highway. Ask Rudy Giuliani, he’ll explain it to you. Giuliani might have had a sedate old age, doing conservative talk show appearances and being the emeritus grise at various university and political functions. Now he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t spend his remaining days in prison.

But for each person for whom the spotlight dims, there is always somebody newer and younger waiting in the wings to go on. This year it is Alina Habba’s turn to shine. Um…Alina? Have you heard what happened to Sidney Powell and Jenna Ellis? They were also stars in the Trump firmament for a time, and last we knew they were copping plea deals and flipping on their Marmelade Master to stay out of prison. Just saying. But Habba is blind to all that, now. She’s starstruck and she and Trump have plans, which she utilizes interesting descriptors to depict.

Remember how the last White House Counsel threatened to resign if Trump tried to make Jeff Clark AG? This one won’t. https://t.co/RWD9vwl1E1

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 17, 2023

The last thing that Donald Trump thought was “deep” and “hard” was his first-grade primer. All those big words like “see” and “run” and what was that dog’s name? Oh yeah, Spot. No wonder Trump hates dogs, he associates them with impossible tasks like learning how to read. And no, we don’t know if he hired somebody in the first grade to be a ventriloquist and throw his voice so that young Donald could appear to be reading aloud, there in the circle. But it wouldn’t surprise us, no, not one bit.

Deep and Hard? That sounds like a GOP porn film!!🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/8bnKfSwz8Y

— CONVICT TRUMP & LOCK THEM UP! (@Christo12919382) December 17, 2023

There’s your all-star cast right there friends. What’s that you say? I should have done a trigger warning, now you’ll have nightmares all night? You make a good point. Being in the same room with any one of these people is an horrific thought and all of them at once, would indeed be an occasion which could only be described by the words “epic” and “nightmare.”

I’m no defender of Christopher Kise, but at least he got his retainer money up front and he’s not jockeying to be a right-wing media star. He’ll probably walk away from all this with some kind of legal credibility intact, whereas Habba is in for a penny, in for a pound, in for her immortal soul.

What I’m waiting for is the inevitable blow out, where Habba has a Come To Jesus moment and realizes she bet on the wrong horse and becomes a staunch Democrat. Then she pens a tell-all about Trump and at the end of the day she becomes the latest coffee girl, whom Trump may or may not have met a few times.

And just by the by, Jenna Ellis may end up becoming disbarred and it’s by no means certain whether Sidney Powell will continue to hang onto her license. This is not the way to go — but clearly, Habba is drunk on the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd and so she’s going full bore.

Lots of luck, lady. If we are cynical, it’s because of the passing parade of people who gave all for Donald Trump and ended up in prison, disbarred, disgraced, some combination thereof.

And on a final comical note, I seriously doubt if Melania cares. Barron is turning 18 in March, and she’s going to make out financially no matter what her idiot spouse does. If there’s even one piece of property that Trump owns free and clear, it’s probably got Melania’s name on the trust deed and she’s undoubtedly got cash stashed in a Swiss bank somewhere.

Wait and see. When the time is right, Melania will pull a Garbo and really disappear and leave these clowns to quarrel over chump change. I’ve always said Barron would be better off going to college in Europe, and that’s not solely my opinion. Think about it: Melania will have her cash, her kid in some university, and she’s still young. She’ll have a good life abroad and Trump will be history. Wait and see.