Ah!, The Sweet Smell Of Success. So Why Does MTG Stink So Bad?

If you broke it, you bought it   The Pottery Barn

This kind of plot could only come from a low budget Jim Carrey movie. Carrey plays a numb nuts lawyer who takes on a woman for a PI case. She describes this horrific accident, leaving her partially disabled. His wife doesn’t rant him to take the case, his partner doesn’t want him to take the case, hell, even his own bartender doesn’t want him to take the case.

But he takes the case anyway, and files a $1 million lawsuit. They show up in court with the victim wearing a neck brace and arm sling. Then the trial starts, and it turns out that the victim wasn’t even in the car! It was parked at the curb, Carey ends up getting his law license pulled, and ends up becoming a cable installation guy, and we all know how that turns out.

That’s what we’re basically looking at here, and Machine Gun Marjie’s head is about to explode. A faithful MAGA lemming, the minute the GOP took over the House, she swore a mighty oath that she would do everything in her power to drag President Joe Biden through the same humiliating process Traitor tot had to suffer through twice. In fact the twit went so far as to file Articles of Impeachment before Biden even performed any official duties.

And like Carrey’s lawsuit, nobody wanted her to do it. Then Squeaker Cave-In McCarthy resisted even opening an impeachment hearing, finding no evidence of high crimes and misdemeanors. But goddamn it, a blood-pinkie-oath is a blood-pinkie, and blood must be had.-oath and demands blood.

And it failed like an octogenarian with a faux hawk After numerous sham hearings Even fake committee Chairs Comer and Jordan had to admit they had bupkis. Bur there was still Marjie, the Wicked Witch of the South, screeching about her stupid blood-pinkie-oath. So they found a scapegoat.

And this time Machine Gun Marjie found an acceptable patsy, DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. He checked off all the GOP boxes, he was a furriner, he is a libril, and he’s toeing the Biden line. The hearing opened to great GOP fanfare, and once again the GOP stepped on a rake.

Problem is that Mayorkas didn’t do anything wrong either. But that didn’t matter, His Lowness was braying for blood from a sacrificial lamb. And Mayorkas is that lamb. So they cobbled up two sham charges, dereliction of duty and lying to Congress. No-Go. Mayorkas wasn’t responsible for the actions they accused him of failing to execute, and lying to congress turned out to be a pissing context of the context of control as opposed to in control. But MTG got her articles of impeachment, and yesterday stomped across the Capitol like an ex storming across the stage to confront her lover on The Jerry Springer Show.

Which is a very apropos description, since the whole farce is nothing more than low entertainment geared for one unemployed bum, Donald Trump. And today, in one fell, almost contemptuous swipe, Schumer and the Democrats gave the charges an undignified burial in a paupers grave.

In a series of procedural motions, Schumer first filed motions that since the charges in each accusation were not actual high crimes and misdemeanors, each charge was unconstitutional. The GOP pulled a couple of cheap parliamentary stunts to delay things, but Schumer had the votes and knew it. Once each charge was found unconstitutional, separate votes wre held to drop the charges and end the impeachment trial. Six months of cheap political theatrical bullsh*t disposed of in six hours. Machine Gun Marjie and The Mango Messiah are not going to get their sacrificial lamb so that Trump can claim, Everybody gets impeached!

But what about poo little Marjorie Taylor Greene? Well, right now she’s about as popular in the GOP caucus as genital warts. And in fact she’s been sliding for quite a while as far as her power broker shelf life in concerned.

Months ago, when the Mayorkas impeachment hearings were well underway, MAGA firebrand Chip Roy took to the well of the House with a fiery challenge for his caucus, I’m laying down the gauntlet right now! I dare a single member of this caucus to come down here right now, and tell me one thing we’ve accomplished as a body that gives us something to run on in November! Rot may be a MAGAt, but he’s astute enough to know that the worst thing an incumbent can do is to go into election campaigning with nothing to show his constituents.

And Roy wasn’t the only one. McCarthy made it clear he saw no point in opening impeachment hearings against Biden with no offenses to investigate. And McConnell and the Senate GOP made it crystal clear in public remarks that they had no interest in following the GOP House down that particular rabbit hole. And they proved it today. But it doesn’t matter to Greene, she isn’t a legislator, she’s a performance artist. 

This is something powerful that Democratic challengers can use against GOP incumbents in November, especially at debates. They can use their opening statements to outline all of the critical legislation the House needs to pass, aid to Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan, lowering medical and prescription drug costs, rebuilding the Key bridge in Baltimore, and taking up the Senate’s landmark immigration reform bill. And what have they done instead? Held more than a year of sham investigative hearings to impeacdh Biden and Mayorkas for no greater sin than being Democrats. Chip Roy has the ready answer to that one.

I’ll close with this. It is pretty well accepted, even by the more honest GOP incumbents and strategists that the Democrats are going to retake the House in November, and by a ruling majority. The GOP pissed away their chance.

But as it was pointed out on MSNBC today, what will be critical in November isn’t how many GOP House members are elected r reelected, but what kind. Win or lose the House, if the moderate GOP base of suburban and exurban white voters are fed up with the MAGA Freedom caucus bullsh*t, and instead elect moderate centrist representatives, then they can send the MTG’s, the Bratty Matty Gaetz’s, the Jim Jordans and Paul Gosar’s of the caucus to sit on stools in the corner with pointy dunce hats on their heads. But if Trump’s presence on the ballot leads to a surge of MAGA victories, then winning or losing the House, MAGA will still be the dominant faction for at least the next two years. Don’t touch that dial.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.