Apparently the MAGAts never heard of Hanlon’s Law, that you should never attribute to conspiracy that which can be explained by plain stupidity. As you know, a number of Trumpkins went glub glub when their $300K boats went down in Lake Travis in Texa$$, while in a boat parade honoring their guru, Donald Trump. A MAGAt who describes himself as a conservative Christian, and NRA member, who writes a blog called “the Muckrack” or “The Sabia Report” said it was the work of terrorists.

UPDATE: 12:50 A.M. PDT SEPTEMBER 6, 2020

The tweet in question has been removed. Apparently, the author of the tweet doesn’t like being mocked. The original tweet said:

The likelihood of all of these boats sinking at the Trump Boat Parade by accident is microscopic. We are dealing with terrorists. https://t.co/bbre1ZAsjE via @MailOnline

— Carmine Sabia (@CarmineSabia) September 5, 2020

Other helpful suggestions followed, given this new theater of the cultural war.

Pardon me, I have to go now. I have a flotilla of tiny Trumpkin boats, no bigger than Trump’s manhood, in the bathtub and I need to create deadly shoals with Top Ramen made to look like seaweed. This is to make sure we can entrap the entire full size Trump fleet, when the time comes. We want historians to remember the Soup Wars of 2020. So far, our plot is working just fine.

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1 COMMENT

  1. All of those “Antifa” people were in boats flying Trump and Gadsden flags, and reds hats. And driving way too fast, with too many people, and not nearly enough lifejackets.

    • It was fun counting the heads in the water around each floundering craft. It seemed the smaller the boat, the more heads there were. We are totally aware of the lack of brain power in the oval office and the whitehouse in general, but all these yobs are just plain embarrassing.

  2. Of course we tapped our super secret Atlantean technology to sink all those boats. How else could a bunch of belligerent drunks with little to no knowledge of watercraft end up in the drink? Oh wait…

    • They could be experts in watercraft, but once the get drunk – whether on alcohol or politics – they’re going to be in trouble.
      Ignore any accounts of the water being rough: the waves were caused by the boaters, not the weather, which was quite pleasant. (Wind speed 10mph)

    • Finally the truth comes out. Atlantis sank after it was blown up by BOS. BOS was believed to be a terrible crystal laser weapon of immense power, but now we know it means bags of soup.

  3. PJ, that’s what I thought when I first heard the story, that they were probably too close together, different size boats, and that the wash from the bigger boats was capsizing or flooding the smaller boats. I’m sure a lot of them were overloaded with people, too, which is never a good idea. i haven’t quit chuckling yet.

  4. Great. Morons in boats, probably drunk and with no life vests. We see this every summer, just without the flags and other tRump crap. Dumbasses never thought to moderate their speed so as not to create waves. Why be considerate of others when you can be as selfish and self-centered as your idol?

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