It’s interesting that a man who is noted for his distinctive stink is now selling a line of fragrances to make people smell good, isn’t it? But it makes as much sense as a man who played a self-made billionaire negotating genius on TV, but who actually went bankrupt six times, becoming president. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? But the part I love is how this scent is going to alter your psychology.
President Donald Trump announced on Monday a limited edition, self-branded fragrance with a gold statue of him on the bottle, urging his supporters to “get one for your loved ones.”
“Trump Fragrances are here,” announced Trump in a Truth Social post. “They’re called ‘Victory 45-47’ because they’re all about Winning, Strength, and Success — For men and women. Get yourself a bottle, and don’t forget to get one for your loved ones too. Enjoy, have fun, and keep winning!”
The fragrance is available in two versions – one for men and one for women – and will set back supporters a whopping $249 for each 100ml bottle.
On the store page, the cologne for men boasts “rich, masculine notes with a refined, lasting finish,” and is advertised towards “men who lead with strength, confidence, and purpose.”
The “Eau de parfum” for women, meanwhile, boasts a “sophisticated, subtly feminine scent that’s your go-to signature for any occasion,” and allegedly “captures confidence, beauty, and unstoppable determination.”
Ain’t it grand? You just spray on “confidence” “beauty” “strength.” I love it. This is a great drug. Were the copywriters doing Katamine with Elon when they wrote this drivel, or what? And what an objet d’art that statue is, as well, doncha think? I think it would make the perfect accoutrement to a velvet picture of Elvis. Just think about it, the velvet picture of Elvis over the couch and the gold statue of Trump on the nearest folding TV tray.
Now that’s class. And I’ve got an even better idea: Trump should send one of these fragrances as gifts to every single head of state and their spouses. We might not have somebody in this world that doesn’t think that we’re totally screwed up in this country, but a gift of Trump scent will do the trick. (And no I don’t know how much it smells like skunk, I’m afraid to inquire.)
Eau de toilette water
Oh da Niff
This f**king guy… I can’t even.
I think that there was a Trump fragrance years ago.
I remember them laughing about it on BBC Radio 1
Though “trump” is British slang for flatulence.
250.00??? It’s cheaper if I just shit my own pants, slather on makeup, and fill the air with hairspray. I’d rather smell burnt cat hair. There’s no hope for a species THIS PHUCKING STUPID.