NASA astronauts Butch Wilmore and Sunita Williams are “stranded” on the International Space Station (ISS) in the sense that the capsule that took them up to the station and – at least according to the original plans, would have taken them right back down… is broken. Grok breaks down the bare essentials as to why Wilmore and Williams have been forced to spend an inordinate amount of time together:
Wilmore and Williams launched on Boeing’s Starliner on June 5, 2024, for an 8-10 day test flight (CBS News, January 28, 2025). Thruster malfunctions and helium leaks rendered Starliner unsafe for return, leading NASA to extend their stay. Starliner returned empty in September 2024, and the astronauts were scheduled to return via SpaceX’s Crew-9 Dragon in late March 2025.
I am not writing to break down how our society is to the point that even the decision regarding rescuing astronauts become political. But Elon Musk did accuse the Biden administration of holding the astronauts for political reasons – though, he has a hard time articulating exactly how the Biden administration somehow benefited by keeping the astronauts up there. Musk’s assertion rests on the premise that Biden was trying to deny Musk a “win” by rescuing Wilmore and Williams. Grok could patiently explain why the theory is batsh*t insane but I’m a bit concerned that Grok is about to quietly talk to me about it needing boundaries, too – and to give it some space. It is also irrelevant to the point, which is that President Donald Trump believes that the married astronauts – professionals – have suddenly fallen in love. The referenced marriages are to people on earth, not each other.
Wilmore and Williams are not even the only two on the ISS – and that is a good thing because the optics would’ve been bad in sending a sweet non-married couple gone up to some isolated place a long way from town, the most expensive Airbnb in existence. No, someone’s up there and least they can say something like “Hey! Anatoly was there, too!” Just point to the guy already there, while also noting that you are a professional who has trained about 13 years for such a mission. That and if you were after something “new,” you’d likely do it in a place without cameras and people watching every move, electrodes monitoring every heart beat. Not a really sexy environment. Candles are definitely out what with oxygen tanks…
Getting back to the point, for reasons passing understanding Trump continues to reference the two astronauts as possibly “being in love.” Were that not enough, Trump just made some weird reference to Sunita Williams’s hair – unbounded by gravity. As seen in the tweet below, Trump said:
“Elon is right now preparing a ship to go up and get them. We’re coming up to get you, and you shouldn’t have been up there so long. The most incompetent president in our history has allowed that to happen to you, but this president won’t let it happen. We’re going to get them out. They’ve been left up there. I hope they like each other. Maybe they love each other, I don’t know. But they’ve been left up there, think of it. And I see the woman with the wild hair. Good solid head of hair she’s got. There’s no kidding, there’s no games with her hair.”
Trump suggested that the two stranded astronauts in space might fall in love pic.twitter.com/4i0eeJRCiH
— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) March 6, 2025
Back up slowly… keep going… and turn around and calmly walk away so we can discuss this matter… a little further… thanks.
Yes. Now what the actual fffff is that about? A guy is literally sitting at the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office – the “leader of the free world,” and he’s dealing with astronauts needing a ride home, so he decides to riff on a woman’s wild hair and possibly even wilder current lifestyle? Even here on earth, regular guys don’t speculate that some other regular man is cheating on his wife just “because” they happen to have the same job… let alone accuse someone else’s wife.
As an aside, I am not sure any of us want to explain to Trump what long hair does in anti-gravity. Even thinking momentarily about what his hair might look like in space might send him spiraling into a very dark and unknowable place.
Did you ever wonder what went on during the “three days up, three days back” NASA thing to the moon? Small ship. Three man crew. Three days. No? Me, neither. And it just makes me wonder why he thinks this is somehow different – maybe it’s her hair. The guy’s weird.
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Maybe Drumpf needs to be reminded of all the “longing looks” that Melania was giving to Justin Trudeau and that, on those rare occasions where her contract required her to be in Drumpf’s presence, she was probably fantasizing about being escorted by the far more handsome and desirable Justin. (Not even really gonna speculate what Melania was doing in her free time away from #DrowsyDonnie but, I’d guess that she had a toy that she named “Justin” for her “special” alone time.)
I can’t, and won’t, speculate on Sphincter Face’s completely inappropriate public displays of sociopathy! I will speculate that I would stay on that station forever if it was a Musk spacecraft coming to rescue me! Those suckers ‘splode and I ain’t gettin’ in one!!
The only thing Trump thinks women are good for is sex. Therefore if a man and a woman are in close quarters for mont
Everyone would be at peace if they would accept Tangerine Jesus as their lord and savior, and without doubt the G.O.A.T. at whatever he says he is. That everything he says and does is perfect because how could our lord and savior do anything less? Great genes? Check! Genius? Check! Superior in performance to all that have gone before him and all that may ever come? Check!
See? Now you are at peace, grasshopper.
Of course, this may also require a quick trip down to Sid’s Bargain Lobotomy Barn for an adjustment to the frontal lobe for many millions of us but hey, don’t you want to be at peace?