Talk about art imitating life, imitating art, imitating life. That’s the saga of Melania Trump who started out as a reality TV character married to a purported self-made billionaire, the “art” imitating life, who then rode his Apprentice character into the White House, reality imitating art. And now Melania is going to take her persona as First Lady — a job she loathed if showing up to work six months late, wearing the I Really Don’t Care Do U? jacket and bitching about “fukking Creeesmuss” are any indications — and she’s going to do a movie AND a series about that experience? So it’s farce imitating grift, or how did that go now?
If you’re lost, join the rest of the civilized world as we all marvel at the return of this shit show to Washington. But this time, Melania is going way beyond Xmas ornaments and tacky overpriced jewelry. She’s going for the silver screen and big Bezos bucks.
I know it’s 2025, nothing matters anymore, and even The Walt Disney Co. is kissing Donald Trump’s ring. But I’ve also learned that Amazon is paying a cool $40 million to license the film, per three sources familiar with the deal. That price includes the Ratner documentary, which will get a small theatrical release and then appear on Prime Video, plus a previously undisclosed two-to-three-episode follow-up docuseries on the first lady. Melania will participate in both projects. (Amazon declined to comment.)
That’s quite a payday for Mrs. Trump, who is serving as an executive producer alongside Argentine producer Fernando Sulichin, who has worked with Oliver Stone on several projects, including Stone’s The Putin Interviews, which featured several sit-downs with Vladimir Putin. Music stars and big public figures can often generate eight-figure fees for participatory documentaries. And indeed, I’m told both Disney and Paramount bid for streaming rights to the Melania project. But Amazon outbid them both (neither Netflix nor Apple bid), and is paying the outsize fee for a limited license, not ownership. It’s unclear how much the first lady is personally being paid to participate and “produce” this project while her husband is in office, but I’m betting it’s a big chunk of that $40 million.
What’s still a mystery is how Ratner got involved. He came with the project, potential buyers were told, though he was a relatively recent addition to the package. What’s pretty certain is that neither Amazon Studios head Jen Salke nor pretty much any top studio head would have selected Ratner for any documentary project, much less this one.
Other than popping up at Cannes, Ratner has mostly been out of the public eye since the #MeToo movement swept him out of Hollywood. But he maintains a bunch of ties to Trumpworld figures.
Steven Mnuchin, the treasury secretary under Trump I, was in business with Ratner on RatPac-Dune Entertainment until Mnuchin somewhat controversially sold his stake. Will the Melania project chart a course for Brett to return to Hollywood?
I wouldn’t bet on it since if there is one thing Donald Trump is known for, it is that everything he touches dies. And it sounds like this guy’s career was long decomposing in the grave before this sudden, momentary resurrection. If I had to predict, I’d say it’s straight back to the crypt. But I have to say that it’s 100% apropos that a director who hasn’t worked in ten years due to #MeToo problems ends up playing Cecil B. DeMille to Melania’s Norma Desmond.
Shakespeare gave us the play within the play, Melania and Jeff Bezos now give us the shitshow within the shitshow. If Melania is expected to light up the screen with the fascinating tale of her life, movies about watching paint dry or cement harden may become the new thing.
Or, maybe this is time for the movie, “Ass.” If you’ve watched Idiocracy, something you must do to understand how we got to having Trump in the White House, the hit movie of that era is “Ass.” I don’t want to spoil it for you, but let’s just say that ass is not only the title of the movie, it is the star and the camera basically never moves off it — plus no dialogue and predictable sound effects.
Bear that in mind when getting ready to screen Melania’s opus. Or, maybe we could screen them side by side and determine which is the more *entertaining.*
*******
Friends, I am forced to self-promote and ask you for money. We had a bad year compared with 2023 and the end of the year has been catastrophic. Traffic died on November 5. We are a small blog and completely self-supporting by ad revenue, donations, and subscriptions. If you can afford a monthly subscription that would help us out. If you can make a donation, likewise. Our only goal is to stay in business and give you the best content we can generate. You are the wind beneath our wings. Thank you. Ursula
