You’ll Love What Junior Blames His Reported Coke Usage On This Time

File this under A Broken Record and Urban Legends Nobody Believes. Donald Trump, Jr. is once more denying that he uses cocaine. So who is he trying to convince? Us? Daddy? Himself? Junior has every single bodily symptom that is associated with cocaine usage, to wit: bloodshot, glazed (even shiny) eyes; a nasal sound to his voice; very rapid speech; flushed skin; so skinny that at times it looks like his clothes are hanging on a skeleton, more so than on a person. Plus there’s video of him snuffling, so maybe it’s Adderall, like Daddy uses. Or a perpetual case of the sniffles. Here’s the newest fish story re: Junior and drugs.

👀 https://t.co/EQOiRAeeWl

— The Intellectualist (@highbrow_nobrow) January 4, 2025

Junior’s referring to the video where he rubbed his gums with cocaine, right there on camera, with Daddy standing three feet away. But as you heard, it’s not cocaine he rubbed but something called a ZYN pouch. That is some kind of a nicotine patch that goes on the gums. I guess. This is nothing I knew was in the world before ten minutes ago.

And who uses these? You’re gonna love it: ZYN pouches are used by people who chew tobacco but it’s more polite because you don’t have to spit. And we’re not in a day and age where spitoons are available in gentlemens’ clubs and that sort of thing. Why not just smoke a cigarette, isn’t that easier? Plus less chance of gum disease? Hey, I’m not writing this copy. The desperate schmuck who came up with this excuse was clearly grasping for any kind of a reason that anybody would reach in their pocket and then touch their gums and ZYN pouch was what came up.

So Junior was “just adjusting his ZYN pouch” before he adjusted his balls, doncha see, because this is what macho men do. Thank heaven the latter was not televised, it’s an image I don’t need in my mind.

Now the part I would like to know is whether Junior admits to himself what is going on. Because this is pretty damn strange. If there is another public figure that regularly gets on either a podcast or TV and declares that he doesn’t do cocaine, I don’t know who that person is.

And speaking hypothetically, IF Junior was ever doing drugs and IF he ever wanted to get clean, the first step in that process is admitting that you have a problem and it’s screwing up your life. So I’m intrigued to know whether this denial is public or whether it goes skin deep and more importantly, soul deep. Because if Junior really believes what he’s spewing, then there is no hope for him.

Junior often carps about Hunter Biden. Yes, Hunter was lost in that dark world for a while, we all know that. But Hunter came out of it and began to walk a different way. The day I see Junior Trump be that much of a man will be the day that I will begin to have a scintilla, maybe even a soupcon, of respect for him.

This is one of those times when Junior would have done better to just keep his mouth shut. Bringing up that video and countering it with this ZYN pouch subterfuge is only making things worse.

But who knows? There may have been a blow out at Mar-a-Lago. Donald Senior may have told his eponymously named son to get his shit together or lose his inheritance and Junior may have said, “I’ll take care of it, Dad.” And come up with the ZYN pouch.

I’ll tell you the stupendous irony of the ZYN pouch, assuming it exists in Junior’s life: tobacco is extremely addictive, as addictive if not more so, than hard drugs and alcohol. So now Junior’s got two monkeys on his back. Or, he’s probably got three: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil. Those are the monkeys that every MAGA has, because they have to go along with the dogma of their cult and deny all else that is real.

Whatever PR person came up with this, fire them. Get somebody else to deal with this case. Because all this has done is throw gasoline on the proverbial fire. She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie — but you do, Junior. Or worse yet, maybe you believe it.

*******

Friends, I am forced to self-promote and ask you for money. We had a bad year compared with 2023 and the end of the year has been catastrophic. Traffic died on November 5. We are a small blog and completely self-supporting by ad revenue, donations, and subscriptions. If you can afford a monthly subscription that would help us out. If you can make a donation, likewise. Our only goal is to stay in business and give you the best content we can generate. Thank you. Ursula

Support the site with a subscription today and see no more ads!

Go Ad-free Now!