MAGA Mike Johnson Really IS As Stupid As He Looks. And If This Is bad, Just Wait For January

You know, it’s really funny when you stop to think about it. Not only can you tell the MAGA imbeciles by what they say and do, but you can identify the GOP House performance artists just as easily by the same method.

And the perfect leader for both of these bands of misfit toys is the one they’ve already got, MAGA Mike Johnson. He hasn’t even been elected as the House Speaker for the 2026 House yet, nor has the event even occurred, and already he went out today and preemptively stepped on his crank.

What appears to have put Johnson’s Dr. Dentons in a twist is the unforgivable news that American citizens had actually elected the first transgender woman to the US House of Representatives. The gall of those goddamned libruls! And so today Johnson came out with a ban on transgender bathrooms on Capitol Hill.

Now considering that the US Capitol is a public building, paid for with US taxpayer money, and we have transgender rights in this country, I would be amazed to find that the US Capitol building didn’t already have transgender bathrooms, with the unisex male-space-female silhouettes indicating they are gender neutral.

The only way I can read what he did today is that he wants to take down the gender neutral signs and replace them with single sex ones, male most likely. And it would mean that people could no longer use the bathroom that they identify their gender with, they’ll have to use a bathroom which matches their birth gender.

The stupid, stupid sh*t. This is a public access federal building, not his personal playpen, no matter how he looks at it. There are transgender employees, staff, visitors, and likely even lobbyists who enter that building every day. And now this schmuck with a perverse vendetta against one transgender congresswoman wants to take sexual identity at the US capitol back to the early 1960’s. I can already smell the federal lawsuits and temporary restraining orders flying out of federal district courts even before the Christmas recess. This is classic performance art. Make a big splash to the loony right base with the announcement, then hope nobody notices when the courts rule against you.

I will predict this right now, with no fear of being wrong. Starting on the first day of the 2026 legislative term, the shadow Speaker of the House is going to be one Hakeem Jeffries. And I’ll tell you exactly why I already know that this is going to happen.

Because not a single goddamned thing has changed from the day that the GOP flipped the House in 2022 and took it over. At the very best, Mike Johnson is going to take control of a GOP majority exactly as large as it was in 2022, when it took forever just to vote in a House Speaker.

And here’s what’s critical. The dynamics of power haven’t changed a whit. The Democrats will once again have a totally unified caucus behind Jeffries. And as I wrote earlier, if the GOP doesn’t have a House majority of at least 35 votes to neuter the Freedom caucus, they ain’t gonna get a goddamn thing done. Cast your mind back to the bad old days of 2017-2018. The Freedom caucus gave Traitor Tot as much trouble as they gave Nancy Pelosi, that’s why Trump couldn’t get anything but his tax cuts through the House.

This isn’t a prediction, just a gut feeling. When the House resumes in January, Mike Johnson will put his name forward for a full term as House Speaker. Watch for a GOP House fight that might just go as long as the Cave-In McCarthy debacle in 2023. Freedom caucus members are furious at Johnson for dealing with Jeffries and the Democrats on the budget extension  as well as other things. There are enough of them to scuttle his nomination. And I’ve seen reporting that there are moderate GOP House members who are unhappy with Johnson being such a feckless ass kisser for Traitor Tot, potentially forcing them to take votes that would be extremely unpopular with their constituents with a brutal midterms for the GOP on the horizon. Johnson is no shoo-in to be the next House Speaker.

And no matter who the next House Speaker is, they’re diving straight into deep kimchi. Last year, when he buckled to Jeffries and the Democrats on the continuing resolution to keep the government running, he thought he was a political genius. Instead he now looks like Ernest Goes to Washington. His initial thought process was that Baron von Schitzenpantz was likely to lose in November, and Johnson could use his House Minority power to hold the Democrats feet over the fire for concessions or threaten to shut down the government on the Democrats watch.

Instead it’s Johnson that’s in the sh*tter. He can’t pass a full blown MAGA budget or CR, or the moderate GOP House members will vote with the Democrats to scuttle it. And if he tries to pass a more realistic budget on straight-party-lines, then the Freedom Caucus will hand him his head on a platter. It will be a 2023-24 redux. Cave to Jeffries and the Democrats, bring 50% of his moderate caucus along, and the Democrats will do the heavy lifting, castrating Johnson while he proclaims victory for his non existent accomplishments.

All of which gives Il Douche the perfect chance to step on a landmine. The Peach Penguin already has a 3′ candle burning his ass with the GOP moderate Senate revolt. If his MAGA House starts churning out budgets or continuing resolutions that do nothing to fund the wall, round up immigrants or slash social spending, Trump may actually veto it in a fit of pique, shutting down the government with his personal signature, giving the Democrats ample fodder for the 2026 midterms with the specter of a do nothing congress. And even if he signs the damn thing, you can bet your ass that the word will be out from the top to the House, MAGA Mike’s gotta go!

I don’t know how much worse this can start out for Traitor Tot. McConnell stalwart John Thune is the incoming Senate Majority Leader, which means that The Mango Messiah ain’t getting his recess appointments. He fed and engorged the monster that the Freedom Caucus has become for his own personal benefit, and all he did was to split the caucus into an ungovernable mess, and now it’s biting him on the ass. It has long been a political axiom that People vote in their own self interest. Well, it’s starting to look like so will a whole bunch of moderate GOP incumbents, and Traitor Tot is sh*t outta friends. Ah, the misery of being a lame duck from day one.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

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