Look, I’m not going to keep talking to you guys if you keep tripping me up with my own words! It might be a long for a bumper sticker, but the Trump-Vance may want to consider putting it on as the announcement for their campaign voicemail.
These two imbeciles just can’t seem to get the simplest things straight. First they say one thing, and then in a matter of hours or a day or two, turn around and say something completely different. And when the media calls them out on it, they accuse the journalist of playing gotcha politics. With Traitor Tot, he can fall back on senility, but the Hillbilly Imbecile is a bit too young for dotage. Let’s just call it chronic stupidity and be done with it.
For five long years now, El Pendejo ex Presidente has been ranting and raving about the innate evils of early in person or mail in voting, calling the process rampant with fraud. And then in 2020, for the first time in history, more of half of the voters voted early in person or by mail, 64.2%. It’s simple enough remedial math even Il Douche can get it from a pretty colored graphic. If 64% of the electorate is voting early, and some 80% of those are Democratic voters, you’ve got a real numbers problem come election day. Mainly, there aren’t enough voters left.
And actually, we’ve seen this repeatedly in the past few cycles now. Whether in a general election or a special election, the mechanics are simple. Because they’re already in house, the first ballots to be tabulated and released are always the early in person and mail in ballots. And the results are always the same. The Democratic candidate jumps out to a huge lead, then as the same day vote starts coming in, the Democrat’s lead shrinks. But recently, the problem for GOP candidates is that there just isn’t enough election day voting to climb that mountain.
The Boobsey Twins finally seem to have figured this out. Sort of. And they’re uber bummed about it. The Mango Messiah in particular is having a hard time swallowing that bitter wormwood. In a rally in Pennsylvania over the weekend he said something akin to, You know, voting was always on election day, but now they have voting like 45 days early. That’s ridiculous! What happens to those votes for 45 days?! Still, a vote is a vote, so just show up.
Beggar Vance isn’t faring much better, but then he hasn’t been at it that long. In a dunce fest of his own over the weekend, Vance whined like a 3 yo, Look, you hate it, and God knows I hate it, but somewhere along the line Election Day turned into Election Month! The important thing is to vote! So vote early in person, vote by mail if you have to, or vote on election day. Just vote!
These two idiots don’t seem to realize that with their whiny bitching, they’re making voting sound like some kind of punishment. It’s like a mother telling her kid, Look, you don’t have to take a bath before bedtime. You can take it after your homework before dinner if you want. Just take the damn bath, OK?!
Trump has another problem, his age old woman problem. The latest polling shows a truly astonishing 33 point gender gap between men and women in this cycle, 45 days out. For reference, the gender gap in 2020 was 21 points, and Traitor Tot got his ass handed to him. If that gap stays the same, or gets bigger this year, all the obstruction and bullsh*t post election lawsuits in the world can’t save him.
So after nine years of gratuitous abuse, The Cheeto Prophet is putting a different shade of lipstick on the same goddamn pig. In his rally this weekend in PA, Trump gave a new pitch to the soft, cuddly ones, Women are going to be so happy when I’m reelected, because I will be their Protector! Right. Like the first thing that any woman wants is the Black Knight standing guard over the Handmaids dormitory. And he boned the bow-wow even worse when he told the crowd, We have to protect our women! Apparently nobody created a pop-up book to explain to Traitor Tot that you don’t own women.
And Beggar has his own tongue to trip over on another issue, Marc Robinson. After slobbering over The Black Nazi as blindly as everybody else, Vance is now being served a giant slice of humble pie. And he’s choking on it. In a recent presser when asked about Robinson, he blubbered, Look, I’ll be the first to admit that some of those accusations are just creepy. But they’re accusations. Right now I don’t believe him, but I don’t not believe him either. That’s between Robinson and the voters in North Carolina. Right. Now I get it. Just like ordering a dozen bloody donuts was between you and the woman behind the counter.
And it might just be starting to come around to haunt them. Alex wagner of MSNBC is in Michigan tonight at a restaurant/bar, and something interesting just happened. A well dressed man summed up the situation this year perfectly when he told the room, Look, the issues are important, all of them. But what it’s all going to come down to is the issue of character. How many times has Trump lied to you? More times than we can count. We all saw all of those press conferences when we were locked up at home. How many times does Trump have to lie to you before you just don’t trust him anymore.
I swear, these have to be the two most incompetent, clueless, bone stupid top-of-the-ticket candidates I’ve ever seen in one of the two major parties. And from where I’m sitting, their stumble footed inability to walk a straight line, and their incredible ignorance to even remember what they said yesterday about issues they have to know they’re going to be asked about, they’ll eventually do our job for us. 42 days. Don’t touch that dial.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
I don’t think too many women trust an adjudicated rapist to PROTECT them. All I can do is shake my head.
protect, as in lock up in a nice safe kitchen and never let her out. and she is supposed to be rapturously happy. just like the women of Afghanistan. mm-hmm.