*Spoiler Alert!* I Already Know Trump’s Last Desperation Delay Attempt At Trial

Recently one of my regular readers posted a comment in my article that tickled me pink. He posited that it wouldn’t surprise him if during the trial, or even jury selection, Traitor Tot didn’t get himself wheeled into court in a wheelchair, with an oxygen bottle rolling behind him, and an O2 canula in his nose, desperate for sympathy.

Especially when you consider the schlock PT Barnum showmanship of the maneuver, it seems like exactly the kind of d*ck move Trump would make. But when you’re buried as deep in his sick, twisted mind as I am, you very quickly realize that it’s the last thing. Trump doesn’t want to be seen as a tragicomic character, some doddering invalid. That image would kill him in the eyes of his supporters, who see him as the Aryan Superman. Trump wants to be seen and portrayed as a political martyr, a modern political Christ on the cross, taking the hit for his loyal supporters.

But that doesn’t mean that Traitor Tot is out of d*ck moves, or that he won’t be the Douch Nozzle of the Gods during his trial. Not that Trump himself will be able to disrupt the proceedings. As much as His Lowness would to address the court, question prospective jurors, and engage belligerently with the Judge, that’s a non starter. That’s what El Pendejo Presidente hired his lawyers for. His job is to sit there and shut up. And if he sufficiently pisses off the judge, he’ll have him taken back to lock up, and a speaker will be brought in so he can hear the proceedings without disrupting them.

And so it will be up to Trump’s legal hushpuppies to execute the d*ck moves. And most of the more common maneuvers are simple enough that even legal imbeciles like Trump’s K-Mart mouthpieces can pull them off, even if not very well.

For instance, In New York state, both sides in a criminal trial, prosecution and defense get five peremptory challenges. This allows them to excuse a prospective juror from consideration without a legally justified reason. Burn those early, and you lose all control of the final composition of the jury. They’ll try to circumvent that problem while still delaying the procedures as long as possible.

On Monday morning Judge Merchan will call into his courtroom a bloc of 40 prospective jurors. They will all be sworn under oath, with threat of perjury. Then the judge will read a list of approximately 40 questions, submitted by the judge, the prosecution, and the defense. At the end of each question the judge will say, If this applies to any of you, please raise your hand. Then anybody who raised their hand will be questioned directly by the judge and the lawyers to probe their ability to serve. Prospective jurors can be excused on the spot if their answers make them suspect.

Here’s where the Trump ambulance chasers will whip out the legal version of the college basketball two minute offense. Keep asking lame questions and try to run out the clock. It will be the voir dire verson of spaghetti, meet wall. They’ll try throwing up every vague, ephemeral, nonsensical legal objection they can think of to remove as many jurors as possible. It will be up to Judge Merchan to cut through the bullsh*t, and leave as many qualified jurors as possible in the pool for individual voir dire questioning.

But however long it takes, at the end a jury of 12 members, and I’m guessing about 6 alternates will be sworn in and seated, and the trial will begin. And it will be bitter wormwood on The Cheeto Prophet’s tongue. His lawyers will have already repeatedly instructed him that childish displays like scowling tha witnesses, tossing his pen in the air, grumbling under his breath, rolling his eyes, and even speaking out are not going to score him brownie points with the jury. Yeah. Good luck with keeping Hair Twitler from making a horses ass out of himself.

It will be brutal. Bragg is a former assistant New York Attorney General. The witnesses will be well prepared, and the testimony and evidence will be powerfully put forward. And Il Douche is going to have to sit there, steam erupting from his ears, and take it. All while prosecution witnesses like Stormy Daniels and Michael Cohen get some of their own back by interjecting personal barbs in their testimony engineered to twist Trump’s tail.

But sooner or later, the prosecution will rest its case, and the defense will have its turn. And there is where the ultimate Trump d*ck move to delay the trial will come. It’s as natural as the sun coming up tomorrow.

Yesterday NBC News obtained a list of the potential witnesses for the upcoming trial. On the prosecution side were about a dozen witnesses ranging from Stormy Daniels to Karen McDougal, from Michael Cohen to David Pecker. A murderers row of traitors ready to put His Lowness into an orange jumpsuit for years to come.

And here’s the d*ck move. On the defense side of the prospective witness list that NBC News obtained, there was only one name, Donald John Trump. And everybody with enough legal knowledge to buy off a parking ticket knows that it’s representational suicide to call Trump to the stand, no matter how much he bellows and screams.

The prosecution will rest. And the judge will turn to the defense table and ask, Is the defense ready to proceed? At which point the games will begin. Yes and no, your Honor. Judge Merchan will reply, What do you mean by that, counselor? To which Trump’s lawyer will reply, Your Honor, my client has expressed an interest in testifying in this trial. I have advised him to the best of my ability that this could be a critical mistake. My ckient insists on testifying. As a lawyer, I cannot in good conscience question a client whom I may end up in convicting my client out of his own mouth. And as such Your Honor, I must respectively withdraw from the case as Mr. Trump’s counsel.

There it is. If the judge questions Trump’s co-counsel, and they parrot the line, the trial grinds to a halt. Every defendant has the right to tedtify in his own behalf, and every counsel has the right to withdraw if he feels he would be injuring his client’s best legal interest.

Judge Merchan will have no choice but to allow the withdrawals, and to allow Trump to choose new counsel. Once Trump does, there will be a delay of 2-3 weeks for the new counsel to familiarize himself with the case before proceeding to directly examine His Lowness on the stand.

To be clear, this is nothing but a d*ck move, it will not prevent the trial from completion. But what it will do is to stall the outcome, and that’s what Trump wants. After 2-4 weeks, once the new mouthpiece is prepared, he will take to his feet to advise that judge that upon further consideration, Traitor Tot has decided to avail himself of his 5th Amendment rights, and declines to testify.

And that was the whole point all along. The prosecution presented a devastating case against Trump. The antidote? Delay the goddamn thing for a month while a ner attorney comes in, and allow the jury to start to forget the power and conclusiveness of the prosecutions case. And then go into closing arguments and try to convince a jury with diminished memory that the prosecution hasn’t proven its case.

Fortunately, there’s a really neat d*ck move that Judge Merchan can pull if he wants to punish Traitor Tot for such a weak stunt. When he announces the delay for the new attorney to get up to speed, he can always announce that he still wants everybody involved in the case, including the jury, that he wants everybody to continue to appear in court every morning so he can count heads. Let the jury remember who is dragging them to court every morning to delay a trial that should be in closing arguments by now.

That’s the Trump play book, delay, delay, delay.  But what the imbecile doesn’t comprehend is the mentality of a jury. These people are already committing 4-6 weeks of their time to this trial. They’re missing work, and having to set up child care. And they’re not going to be happy when a feckless moron like Trump wants to cost them 305 more weeks. Funny thing about d*ck moves. They have a way of backfiring on you.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.