I Have to Admit, I Love These “Trump is Miserable” Stories

Thanks to South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem’s callous and despicable story about murdering one of her family dogs, Twitter this weekend is fairly bursting with great photos of Twitter-heads and their faithful woozles – proving that even the most heinous of admissions can sometimes lead to gratifying moments.

But as much as I love the doggie photos, one way to pry my attention from them is to post a story about how miserable Trump’s has become about being forced to sit down and shut up during his NYC trial for fraudulently disguising election interference money as routine legal expenses and pressuring everyone involved to lie about it.

Because Trump simply can’t tolerate not being able to run his pie hole like the bilious gasbag he is.

“If my compulsion is reading, Donald Trump’s is talking. He is, as my father used to put it, a “gasbag,” a person who is almost physically unable to enter a public space without dominating it verbally. But Trump is extreme in this regard: grammatically mangled, cognitively garbled, dishonest, unpunctuated and verbally inaccurate. Hais declarations are a firehose of gasbaggery. And one of the benefits of filling the air with your own opinions is that you never have to listen to, or think about, anyone else’s views.

So one of the last week’s pleasures was that Donald Trump was not allowed to speak in the courtroom unless spoken to. This meant that he was also forced to listen to whatever anyone said about him without responding to them, an exercise that will continue this week. He had to do this for five days in a row, except when he was asleep, a phenomenon that some Democrats believe will neutralize Trump’s attacks on President Biden as “Sleepy Joe” and a “low energy” person.“

And when you add to that prohibition on gasbaggery a ban on his moving about and playing his air accordion while spinning his lies, being forced to forgo his daily intake of a dozen or so Diet Cokes, needing to wait for the judge to even take a bathroom break, well, you have the perfect prescription for driving the spoiled man-child absolutely nuts.

Or so says Tom Boggioni over at Raw Story.

“Donald Trump’s forced appearance in court for his hush money trial is subjecting him to something he is not accustomed to having to deal with and it is getting to him, reports the Wall Street Journal.

After two weeks of having to sit in the Manhattan courtroom where he is facing 34 felony counts related to paying hush money to adult film star Stormy Daniels, the Journal’s Corrine Ramey wrote that the restrictions on his movements in the courthouse, being unable to speak when he wants to and even what he is allowed to drink while in the courtroom are making him increasingly gloomy.

More to the point, Donald Trump long-time friend John Catsimatidis told the Journal, “He’s miserable. There is no more horrible thing than just having to sit there and be quiet.”

Oh, yeah, Tom, that’s the good stuff… please… tell me more…

“As for those “small indignities” being visited upon the former president, she notes, “He’s freezing, he says, due to the building’s finicky heating system. In court he can’t eat or drink anything but water, robbing him of some of the multiple of the Diet Cokes he consumes in a typical day. He can use the bathroom only when the judge declares a break in proceedings. A panel of 18 New Yorkers—12 jurors and six alternates—have front-row seats to his every yawn, catnap and mutter.”

Heaven help me I love it.

As good as Boggioni‘s story is – and I’ve read it several times- I can’t help but rue the fact that there is no modern-day Fyodor Dostoevsky out there to chronicle, in delicious, painstaking detail and at novel length, Trump’s torments and never to be spoken regrets for committing the useless and stupid crimes that placed him in that hard wooden courthouse chair.

Imagine how much fun reading that would be…