YES! This Is Almost As Satisfying As The Cubs Winning The World Series!

Here’s what my Victory Dance looks like. It starts out withy a waist level uppercut, like Joe Frazier taking out Kenny Norton. That’s followed by a series of sawing motion fist pumps at waist level, and completed with a bellow and chest thumb like King Kong after he dispatches Godzilla. All accompanied by the soundtrack of Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! YESSSSSS!

I have been waiting eight long years for this. Today it was announced that all purpose scumbag and Trump sycophant Boris Epsteyn had been indicted in the Arizona criminal alternate elector scam. How many times have I told y’all to stick a pin in this one.

It took long enough. I had hoped to see him indicted in the Fulton County case, but apparently he didn’t leave a big enough footprint in that case. Vut one thing aleays gave me hope. Jack Smith was going after Trump first. But once that’s done solo, there’s still going to be time to indict and convict the lower level douche bags like Stone, Bannon, Navarro, Eastman and Epsteyn.

I’ll be honest. I’ve despised this toad since the first time I saw him. He’s so slimy that slugs pour salt on him. If you’ve ever seen him, he looks like the kind of creep who shows up at your door, claiming to have an order of eviction, just so you pay him off to go away. The best part was when Ari Melber conversationally eviscerated him on an appearance on The Beat.

There’s a good reason why I wanted him to go down. Epsteyn is the weakest link in a chain made of paper clips. When Melber dismantled him and puit him back in the original shipping box, Epsteyn’s made to order explanation and excuse was, Everything I did wasm pre approved by the Trump lead counsel, Rudy Giuliani. Right. I’ve heard that one before, I vas only followink orders! at Nuremburg in 1946.

I have been looking forward to this moment simply because Epsteyn is such a total and obvious fraud. He desperately tried to be the replacement for Trump’s fixer Michael Cohen. Unfortunately Epsteyn has the only personality in the world worse than Trump’s. As dormer Senator Al Franken once said of fellow Senator Ted Cruz, To know Boris Epsteyn is to not want to know Boris Epsteyn. He has the personality of a hangman.

But at his heart, Epsteyn is weak, petty, and vindictive. When dismantled by Melber, Epsteyn immediately laid all blame and responsibility at the feet of Rudy Giuliani. The problem with that defense? The last time I checked, Epsteyn and Giuliani were both barred laywers. Epsteyn had the training, skills, and experience to determine for himself whether the instructions he was receiving were legal and ethical. Obviously he failed the test, since he’s now about to be arraigned and booked, mug shot, and hopefully perp walk included.

And take my word for it. Now that he’s in the hurt locker, the thought of losing his silk suits, his soft job as Director of Political Programming at Sinclair Media, and having to model orange, and eat and sleep with actual criminals will have Epsteyn rolling over like a puppy looking for a tummy skritch.

Having spent my entire life following the rules, I have a natural ;pathing for rich, pompous stuffed suits with letter after their names who think that those same rules don’t apply to them. And I am going to enjoy watching Boris Epsteyn’s self imposed demolition almost as much as I’m enjoying watching Trump’s ego wither and die in that Manhattan courtroom. And if that makes me cheap and petty, I can live with that. After all, I’ve paid my dues.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.