Trump Vows Government Won’t Reopen Until Wall, Fence, ‘Whatever’ In Place

This is getting positively metaphysical. Trump is going on about his wall, which will be built, which is now being built. Maybe we should call it, the once and future wall. Of course, this isn’t about a wall, never has been. It’s about Trump’s pissing contest with the Democrats, Chuck and Nancy or whomever he’s decided is his nemesis of the nanosecond. All Trump knows is that something, a wall or a whacha mi callit, will be built, soon if it isn’t already done, or else he’ll just leave the federal government closed until Doomsday, so there.

After speaking to American troops deployed around the world on Christmas, Pres. Trump said he didn't know when the government would be reopened:

"It's not going to be open until we have a wall, a fence, whatever they would like to call it." https://t.co/RhxRFrL0Yo pic.twitter.com/miZHgk0aZA

— ABC News (@ABC) December 25, 2018

If you didn’t listen to this clip, Trump lies through his teeth about 115 miles of new wall construction. There is no new wall construction. The 115 miles to which he refers is fence repair, which was paid for a while back. He says, “we gave it [wall construction] out at a great price,” implying that he has been awarding a new contract for construction to somebody. He hasn’t received dime one for his wall, and there is zero new construction.

might be a wall. might be a fence. might be some metal slats. might be some plastic bags. might be some garbage cans and string. might be some abandoned cars. might be some old tires. whatever.

— ray mckenzie (@raymack1999) December 26, 2018

Tell him “How about a “stealth” wall, that no one can see, but it works magnificently and so perfectly.”

— IAmAGoodDalek (@Ndreajess) December 25, 2018

It’s a wall with a cloaking device and a magical force field that only unicorns can penetrate

— IAmAGoodDalek (@Ndreajess) December 25, 2018

We have gone from “a great big beautiful wall” to “artistically designed steel slats” to “whatever.” Great.

I vote we put a traffic cone there and say, “This qualifies as a whatever, a barrier” and then go spend $5Bill on clean water for Flint, aid for veterans, the opioid epidemic, or anything else that comes to mind as a worthy cause.