As you well know, Melania has been missing in action since Halloween. She was seen at a Mar-a-Lago Halloween party for the first time in six months. She was not seen recently at Xmas or at New Year’s. She wasn’t in the Trump family Xmas photo — although her father was. Now this is notable because supposedly the reason that Melania is MIA is because her mother is gravely ill. If that’s the case, why isn’t her father at his wife’s bedside?
But granting arguendo that different people have what we’ll call a different family culture, let’s just say it’s normal for the Trump women folk to stay with sick relatives while the men folk go out and party. Fine. We’ll all stipulate to that, just for the purpose of moving on. Here is how Trump depicts his third shot at holy wedded matrimony. Spoiler alert: It sounds very, very different from the relationship Ivana Trump described which included hair pulling and marital rape. Also, ****TRIGGER WARNING**** Have a motion sickness bag nearby, you’re liable to throw up.
— Myron Nelson (@Myronnelson) January 2, 2024
They literally have never had an argument. They are so compatible. Ain’t it grand? And Melania elaborates on how smart she is, as smart as Donald. Which is probably true. It’s just not the achievement she seems to think it is, to have an IQ of 85 and zero intellectual curiosity.
We’ve been talking for less than 10 minutes when Melania broaches the idea that she’s been misrepresented in the media—her silences interpreted as a lack of intelligence, her marriage as some kind of Faustian bargain. If Donald is a winner, as he often repeats in speeches, she—finally—would like you to know that she is, too. “I had a successful modeling career,” she says, and it should be noted, her QVC line of sparkly jewelry sold out in 45 minutes. […]
She continues: “To be married to my husband, to someone successful as he is, he needs somebody who will tell him the truth. Somebody smart, you know. It’s not just like I’m there and I’m just doing things for him. People say I’m not on the campaign, [but] I’m very involved from home.” She may DVR Empire (which she calls “interesting, something for fun”), but nightly she’s glued to CNN or Fox News. “I like to know exactly what’s going on,” she says. “I give a lot of advice to my husband and tell him how it is and how I see it. I’m not backing off. I tell him the truth.” She also reveals that she’s the one in the family who has his ear. “After a speech, the kids are calling me—Ivanka, [his] sons—saying, ‘Call dad and tell him this and that. He’s listening to you.’ They know I would talk to him and put him in the right direction. Sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn’t. He will decide what he does.”
If I had to bet money, I’d bet that Ivanka doesn’t call Melania about a damn thing, and would sooner break her fingers before dialing that number. But whatever. We’re in Willing Suspension Of Disbelief mode right now, listening to this fantasy.
In what ways have you been misrepresented, I ask. “That I’m shy,” she says. “I’m not shy. I know what I want, and I’m selective….I’m not only a beauty, I’m smart. I have brains. I’m intelligent.” She exhales, adding: “I would just say, Men will be men.”
She uses that same phrase—“Men will be men”—when asked about Donald’s old appearances on Howard Stern’s show, which recently resurfaced online. Stern once asked if Donald would stay with Melania if she suffered a horrific car accident, and he replied: “How do the breasts look?” A similar vibe was conveyed when Trump came out on stage at a town-hall meeting at the University of Pennsylvania in 1999 and shouted, “Where’s my supermodel?”
This is the perfect marriage that they have, folks. The marriage of true minds, as the Bard called it, in Sonnet 116.
Maybe the Trumps do have what the poet wrote about. Color me skeptical as hell. And in all human decency, if Melania is nursing an ailing mother, I sympathize. We all lose our parents at some point. I just find it odd that she couldn’t escape for a few hours and take a photo or two. And we’ve been through all this before. Remember when Melania vanished for over three weeks in 2018 and Bette Midler said, “Maybe she drunk cut her bangs and didn’t want anybody to see her. I’ve done that.”
Melania has been absent from Mar-A-Lago Christmas and New Year’s events, raising speculation about her whereabouts.
Is she in the witness protection program? pic.twitter.com/igbhzRSkY3
— BlueDream (@58bugeye) January 1, 2024
The only thing I feel we can say with certainty is that like all things Trumpian, there’s more than meets the eye. Let’s see what happens in Iowa. Let’s see who wins and let’s see when Melania finally shows.
If she’s been involved in his decision making and giving advice then I guess she should have a list of charges herself, including conspiracy to overthrow our government and the stealing of top secret documents. Jack? You’re move.
Most people who are exceptionally gifted, don’t have to tell you that. They merely show it in how they live their daily lives. Just the fact she has to tell us she is intelligent, but doesn’t seem to demonstrate it, seems a little off. Remember the plagiaristic speeches?
I’ll add a quote from Shakepeare, “much ado about nothing.”
I wonder if her prenuptial allows her to.leave with a ton of cash when he loses?
Well, she IS married to The Stable Genius.