Trump Must Be Changing His Depends Right About Now

All media is good media. It doesn’t matter what they’re talking about, good or bad. As long as they’re talking about you, they’re not talking about somebody else. You stay relevant and front and center   Donald John Trump

That quote has been Trump’s pubic persona since he started out in Manhattan to launch his smoke-and-mirrors real estate empire. Whatever you say, if it’s in the media, people are seeing and listening. To you. If you’re in the media, you’re seen and listened to. And it works. Charlie Manson was one of the most notorious mass murders of all time. He was also one of the most publicized. And Manson got marriage proposals by mail in San Quentin until the day he died. Stay public, stay relevant.

It worked like a charm in 2015-16 when he was building his political brand. Who cares if the mainstream media was constantly mocking him, they were also constantly broadcasting him, and that media oxygen fueled the flames of his 32-35% base that got him the nomination, and then the White House. So when you’re in deep sh*t, If it ain’t broke, why fix it?

But right about now, I’m thinking that Traitor Tot must be rethinking the wisdom of his media philosophy. So far he’s been lucky. The Manhattan courthouse worked closely with the Secret Service and US Marshalls. Trump pulled right in front, and didn’t wave as he entered. The courthouse restricted camera and media access, they penned them up in a hallway where Trump would exit a door, take two steps, a left turn, and go in the side door of the courtroom. He wasn’t perp walked.  But it wasn’t all peaches and cream. For a three block stretch on the way to the courthouse Trump was serenaded by chants of New York Hates You! New York Hates You! Trump had called on Bullsh*t Social for massive protests in the streets, and there ended up being more media cameras and reporters than Trump supporters around the courthouse.

Then came his Florida arraignment. Once again Traitor Tot called for mass protests, and there were more reporters than protesters. This was a federal courthouse, so no cameras are allowed, and the building was sealed. Trump pulled into and left from an underground garage, so there was no public or media contact whatsoever.

Now on to DC. Once again it was a federal courthouse, and His Lowness entered and departed through an underground. People watching on television got to see more of Trump’s fat ass waddling up and down the air stairs of Trump Force 1 than they did in court. In fact it’s all of Trump they saw for the entire episode.

But this time is different. Because Trump has another mantra that he goes to whenever he’s in troubler. Attack! Attack! Attack! Never back down, and never back up. And as a result, Trump has already not only insulted Fulton County DA Fani Willis, he’s racially denigrated her. He has insulted the judge, as well as the county sheriff. To put it succinctly, Trump sh*t in his mess kit. Big Time. He’s about to be surrounded by people who don’t like him very much, and his booking experience is totally in their hands!

And this Time El Pendejo Presidente is going to be more exposed than ever before. This time he’s not going into an urban setting to a courthouse, either local or federal. This time he’s going to The. Fulton. County. Jail. Not to a courthouse where the booking area is a small, clean area, and a short walk to the courtroom. Trump is going to the jail where every single criminal miscreant in Fulton County is brought for booking and processing, and quite often incarceration until at least a criminal arraignment. Trump isn’t going to be surrounded by white collar court employees in presentable clothes, being deferential. Instead he’s going to be surrounded by sheriff’s deputies, to whom he’s just another street thug. I wonder if he’ll notice the difference in the smell.

And the Fulton County Jail is in an exposed area, to make it harder for potential prisoner escapes. And while I’m sure that the sheriff, the Secret Service, and the US Marshals will restrict access to the area where he’ll arrive and depart, there’s no way he won’t be able to see them out there. In fact, he’s going to have to drive right through them.

Sweet Jesus. Did you see the piranha flock that immediately engulfed John Eastman when he walked out of the county jail? It was like The Beatles had just shown up in town. Eastman had to fight his way through the mob, his lawyer attached to him at the right hip, while repeating the defendant rosary, No comment, no comment, no comment.

Even worse was the welcome that Trump’s former lawyer, Rudy Giuliani received. I swear to God, if I had seen a bunch of motorcycles sitting around, my mind would have immediately flashed to the mob of paparazzi that hounded Princess Diana to her death. Giuliani, an imbecile to the end, gave his lawyer a cardiac arrest by stopping to answer questions for the media.

Trump won’t have to go through that, but it doesn’t matter. Because as any Madison Avenue ad flack will tell you, Image is everything. And nobody who watched Giuliani’s final fall from grace can have failed to notice the wag standing behind Giuliani, making sure to keep his hand held poster, Clown Car Coup clearly in the camera shots. And the other one with a bedsheet stretched between two poles, with the spray painted letters, TRUMP INDICTED emblazoned on it. And The Mango Messiah is going to have to drive through that, going in and out.

But if I’m Dorito Mussolini, I’m seriously thinking about ordering my Depends in boxcar lots. Because once that nightmare is over, sometime in the next two weeks, I believe it’s either the 6th or 9th of September, Trump is due in the Fulton County courthouse to be arraigned. And a whole new Nightmare on Elm Street that he has no personal control over.

Unlike a federal court, the Fulton County courthouse is camera friendly. Georgia believes in public transparency for their legal proceedings. The Fulton County Sheriff has already promised The Trumpster Fire a warm welcome, a fingerprint ink pad, and a mug shot. Trump will have to present himself to the court when he arrives. That means the Fulton County Sheriff. And if the sheriff holds good to his promise that Trump is no different than any other criminal defendant, then for the first time in his useless life, Traitor Tot may be treated to a perp walk down the hall to the courtroom, and have his arraignment nationally broadcast. 

There is no way that Il Douche can’t have seen the mob scene meeting major defendants when they show up to surrender, or the protest signs in the background. Any law enforcement professional knows that the secret to compliance is to strip the defendant of his ego and humanity, make him just another unit to be processed. I have little doubt that the Fulton County Sheriff will do that tomorrow. Trump has already seen the images of his co-conspirators mug shots on the news. And tomorrow evening, his mug shot will join them. Without a complimentary 5×7 shot to put on t-shirts and coffee mugs to fundraise with. And at his arraignment, his public humiliation will be BREAKI:NG live network news!

Trump is so far in over his head, he can’t even find the surface. In his first two arrests and arraignments he called for mass protests in the streets on Bullsh*t Social, and was humiliated by the size of the turnouts. For the last two, he hasn’t even bothered. But while his slobbering base may not notice, or care about this, the soft middle and independent voters that he has to convince to turn to him next November to get him back to the White House so he can make this all go away are watching. How does he repair that damage? Especially since at least one of his trials will likely take place and be completed before the Republican National Convention. Don’t touch that dial.