Trumpty Dumpty did not have a good night last night. No, Sir, he did not. The hour got late, as it always does, the shadows in the corners began to whisper, as they always do, and the ticking of the clock got so bad that Trumpty demanded only digital ones be allowed in the room. He doesn’t want any reminder of how time is passing, certainly not with that idiot Rudy going to Georgia to testify. That could turn into a real hot mess.

As Trumpty tried to sleep he kept hearing an owl saying “Who? Who?” “You’re goddamn right!” said Trumpty, throwing off the covers and reaching for his phone. “Who? Who the fuck ratted me out?”

And so Trumpty decided to take the matter of the raid into his own hands and here’s what that looks like. After all, he’s still the president, right? Right?

Yes, his lawyers will get one. And just who are those lawyers and what are their qualifications? We’re so glad you asked.

Now, no cracks about oral advocacy skills.

Seriously. Are you a hot looking young babe, Dreamweasel? Because you can get a gig on Trump’s dream team with your ideas and the right looks. And that will lead to the eventual anchor gig on Newsmax, so hey.

Trump said only yesterday that he wanted to lower the temperature on the rhetoric. We see how long that resolve lasted.

 

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12 COMMENTS

  2. If only his brainless followers hadn’t decided to attack FBI offices in his name, he might have gotten what he….haahahaha, I’m sorry, I can’t finish that sentence with a straight face

    10

  3. Regarding Trump’s review of “qualifications” I think the tweet from Ron Filipowski was off the mark – pretty faces are a dime a dozen but a giant set of boobs? That’s what gets Trump’s attention!

    6

    • Agreed, Denis. However, don’t forget Trump lives in Palm Beach, the self-proclaimed Plastic Enhancement Capitol of the world, where a “giant set of (severely enhanced) boobs” are possibly less than a dime a dozen. Happily for him, Donald doesn’t mind ogling lumps of silicone rather than natural human tissue.

      5

    • Actually, Trump does seem to react more to “pretty faces” than anything else. I mean, Ivana wasn’t all that well-endowed, nor was Marla, nor is Melania. Nor is Ivanka. If you’re interested in “big boobs” as any kind of “qualification” in a woman, wouldn’t you also be looking for that in a spouse or girlfriend? (Not to mention, it’s a lot cheaper a procedure to give a “pretty face” a set of “big boobs” than it is to give an “uggo” with “big boobs” the necessary surgery to turn her into a “pretty face.” There’s real-world “unattractive” and Hollywood “unattractive”; the latter usually only requires a woman to take off her glasses and let her hair loose and she goes from a 2 to at least an 8 while the former typically needs to spend big bucks and undergo hours of surgeries and recuperation to go from that 2 to that 8.)

      3

  7. “Help me out. I still can’t work out which dirty rat squealed to the Feds about me. I demand you give me all your evidence so I can have them dealt with by my sheepls (which won’t be my fault, you understand)”

    7

  8. I can’t believe this MF is now saying he’s going to help cool down the rhetoric. What, so he can be a hero? f*** him and everyone who believes in him I am sick of this.

    4

  9. He wants the identity of the FBI agents and the informant published so his goons can go to work on them.

    What’s the reason for the judge having to recuse himself- because he acted scrupulously?

    3

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