Oh, well, now you have a bit of a problem.

If you are Donald Trump, and it looks like you have the edge over Ron DeSantis, and your political consultants say, “If you just could win over some suburban women in Des Moines you would probably be okay. So go give a nice speech, you know – don’t be so fcking scary dick, don’t swear, don’t talk about getting revenge, talk about kids… you’ll be fine,” Trump will have a good plan with a big problem. Because he has to hold a rally in and around Des Moines, except he still owes them big from the last time you stiffed them. (*Des Moines is used purely as an example. I have no idea if he owes Des Moines money. All I know is…) Donald Trump stiffed a lot of communities, many of them critical “crossover” areas, very important cities where campaigns are won and lost, and because he still hasn’t paid, they’re going to demand arrears and a big downpayment. Trump isn’t “Trump” if he’s not cheating and stealing!

According to the Daily Beast, Trump may have to mow a cornfield donn, nail up some bleachers, and hope that if he builds it, they will come… and maybe some cops in case there’s a fight as to who can out MAGA another.

From The Daily Beast:

As Donald Trump’s Secret Service detail—and the size of his MAGA rallies—has ebbed and flowed, one standard operating procedure for the former president has remained constant: Whenever possible, stiff the contractors.

Point of order. That “constant,” (stiffing people) goes back decades and decades.

For all the “back the blue” merchandise one can buy at a Trump rally, finding an event where the cops actually working it had their overtime covered by the campaign is surprisingly difficult. But there’s a cost for Trump, too; the hefty bill that he tends to leave with local governments means the ex-president may have to search for even smaller, more obscure rally venues for his 2024 campaign.

Well, good thing there will be a lot less “Back the blue” stuff at Trump campaign events. After all, “the blue” kept the MAGAs (mostly) out of the Capitol, and the “Big Blue” FBI may make all of this moot in the first place. Or God help us all.

Of the 30 counties and municipalities The Daily Beast contacted to ask whether they’d been reimbursed for local cops and firemen supporting a Trump rally, just one—the city of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania—responded to confirm they got any money back. But an official at the city clerk’s office wasn’t even sure it was Trump’s money.

I am as sure as I can be without personal knowledge that it was not Trump’s money. After all, something made Wilkes-Barre different, and it’s not that they’re mean or that it’s a crap area with crappy places that are cheap. It’s actually quite nice, especially in the fall.

So, at least Trump can go to Wilkes-Barre. Can he go to Hershey? How about Pittsburgh? He probably ought to stay out of Philadelphia for a while, given that they lost the Super Bowl and Philly fans tend to stay in bad moods for a long time. See what happens with the Sixers and Flyers first.

I find this hilarious. Trump better buy some boots. He might be campaigning in a lot of rodeo arenas in some really small towns.

One thing, though, it would be prudent to panic if Trump establishes his own “police force” with uniforms and all, one that functions as a mercenary army with Trump as “CEO,” paid by the campaign, and… ready-made loyalist “troops.” Maybe he’ll call them the “SS” because they’ll be kinda’ like the Secret Service.
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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, SUBSTACK: 

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