Congress Critter “Gym” (He GROPED me Coach!) Jordan famously refuses to wear a jacket in Congress. Having to wear one during the McCarthy for Speaker vote-a-thon was a form of mental torture for him I’m sure. But he makes damned sure that most of the time, including on the dais during committee hearings he’s been in shirtsleeves. Like many an old jock (and once upon a time he was in fact a world class athlete – as in even Olympic medal potential) he longs for glory days of his youth. And tries to impress people with his still being “buff” which doesn’t work so well wearing a suit jacket. Look he’s not the first person with vanity issues in politics and won’t be the last, but his refusal to wear a jacket long ago became something of a pathetic joke about a pathetic guy.
So Jordan likes projecting a firebrand image. Tough guy. Ready to rumble. Whatever. The man hasn’t passed a single piece of legislation during his time in Congress. He’s from one of the weirdest shaped, most expansive top to bottom and side to side even if some parts that connect pieces are spider web thin that he’s safe from any challenge. Except from someone even more RWNJ bat-sh*t insane than he is. The only, and I mean ONLY thing he has done is serve as a Republican flaming-sh*t-bomb thrower. He’s gotten a lot of undeserved attention for it. Unfortunately it led him to becoming a major player in the GOP including becoming Chair of the House Judiciary Committee. Even though he’s not a lawyer. This is the modern GOP however and things like expertise and you know, qualifications for a position of great power is for cucks. In fact, real and related knowledge and credentials have become DIS-qualifiers!
So, even though he’s not a Senator and doesn’t get to approve RWNJ hacks for federal judgeships and even SCOTUS is kind of a bummer but still being Chair of Judiciary was a pretty nice gig. However, his ultimate fantasy was to one day head up a special, “Select Committee” that would be controlled by his fellow a$$hat Republicans to do a number on any and everyone who didn’t worship RWNJ ideals and more importantly one Donald J. Trump. To be able to hang them from the gallows set up for Mike Pence (and others) on Jan. 6, disembowell them and pour boiling oil over them before they died and then tie their bodies to a stake and burn them.
Lo and behold, one fine day he woke up from his bigliest wet-dream ever and looked around a room covered in splooge (think Randy in the trailer at the end of the South Park Overlogging episode) because he got his wish! He’d head up a Super Special Super Select Committee on the “Weaponization of Government” which was code for “Not just get even with but destroy anyone who’d been mean to Republicans like him. And Trump.” And it was gonna be big. So big the J6 Committee and their fancy hearings that riveted the country would be put to shame. So big those J6 Committee members would, before dying of shame weep liberal tears of blood.
A funny thing happened though. Jordan’s committee has, just like Jim Comers House Oversight committee been a big flop. Not worth of prime time even on C-SPAN! Witnesses are hyped and when Democrats get their turn in the questioning exposed as morons, liars or both! Oops. Jordan has even broken the rules he f**king made and refused to share stuff that the committee’s rules say must be shared with every member. And let’s face it – if Democrats were to withhold even a note that they’d had an informal chat with someone to schedule an interview with members of both Parties Jordan would be howling louder than a siren amped up with rock concert speakers!
Not that GOPers have ever shown any hypocrisy. Just kidding. They mainline hypocrisy like a heroin junkie shoots up every chance they get!
So we’ve had some hearing that have flopped because Jordan’s witnesses are sh*t. But today? Today was gonna be special. You see they had several FBI dudes who were gonna blow the roof off things! Whistleblower stuff. Big. HUGE! And, as I noted earlier to try and keep Democrats from being meanies (by exposing some truths that would be a wee bit more than slightly embarrassing to said witnesses and Jordan) ole Gym refused to follow his own rules and hand over notes/transcripts of pre-hearing interviews that only GOPers took part in or if not got to see.
In the end it didn’t matter. The Democrats on the committee knew enough to be plenty well prepared. To discredit both Jordan and his witnesses including and especially Jordan’s star witness. (What is it with GOP “Star” witnesses lately? If they aren’t missing in action when they do show up they go down in flames) Rep. Dan Goldman raked Jordan over the coals over ignoring his own freaking rules. And Rep. Stacey Plaskett, the Ranking Member blew so many holes in Jordan he really did need not a sport coat or suite jacket but a flack jacket. Check out this link to get a taste of how the “Gentlelady from Virginia” handled fhe onetime Olympic caliber wrestler like a group of elite soccer players playing hackey-sack with a soccer ball.
The evening news/commentary shows, at least the ones on legitimate networks that both-siderism or not still present a fair amount of “this is what actually happened” will have a field day with this. Jordan will get some prime time exposure for his little Circus sh*t-show but it won’t be the kind he was hoping for!
One last thing. I can’t resist taking a shot of my own. Jordan’s FBI agents are all former agents, having all lost their security clearances and as a result being fired. In fact, the big star had been improperly accessing devices and downloading information on to unauthorized flash drives. And gave an unauthorized interview (and who knows what else?) to a Russian news outlet. Them was some witnesses you had for us GYM! I marvel at the fact the FBI didn’t prosecute this guy but it’s always been sensitive to its image. I suspect there was a “be grateful you only lost your job because you could be prosecuted for things you did. With your background you can get some type of security consulting job with some staunch GOP owned company so we suggest you quietly go away and do just that.” Only he’s been shooting off his mouth on Fox and I’m sure other places. And actually showed up today only to get eviscerated by Democrats. Like I said, a batch of fired agents, at least one of whom admittedly has taken a was of cash from Trump appointee Kash Patel.
Jordan should quite while he’s still only far behind with no hope of closing the distance.
Just a minor (but niggling) issue. The word is FLAK and NOT flack. There is NO ‘c’
It is the German acronym for anti-aircraft gun (FLugzeug Abwehr Kanone) and the name was given to the body armour worn by bomber aircrew to protect them against flak.
Oops. Thanks for the catch. I should really know better. Yes, I didn’t proof as carefully as I should have and didn’t even bother with the title after I wrote it. Having once upon a time worn the things I should instinctively gotten it right in the first place. So again, thanks. I don’t like being corrected or criticism any more than the next person but when it’s deserved like it was in this case, and/or well-intentioned I’d rather have it than not.
For some strange reason a LOT of people are spelling it with a ‘c’. Maybe Miriam Webster has snuck it in unbeknownst like the spelling of ‘caronade’ as carronade (some people think that’s a French word so the extra ‘r’ gets shoved in to ‘anglicise’ it – it’s actually from the name of the foundry in Scotland – Caron Iron Works)
In the end – blame the MS spell checker 😉
Jordan has as much appeal as a pair of sweaty, stinking gym socks. The real fun part was him going on TV to justify Patel’s payments. God. He’s like a four year old insisting he didn’t eat the cake when chocolate frosting is all around his mouth. Gosh…Patel, a conspiracy right wing nutjob, was just helping him feed his family. Excuse me if choke, since so much irony and hypocrisy is being shoved into my brain, while a huge cloud of smoke is being blown up my ass. Geez Jymbo, you inspire me to hunt down all the boys you let get sexually assaulted, recruit some pipe wielding volunteers, and pay you a visit. Nah. You’re not worth the effort, which is why they haven’t taken any initiative. Besides you’re doing a great job covering yourself in sh*t! Call your next ‘whistleblower’. Be sure to tell them to bring the whistle, so you can put your lips together and blow.
“And tries to impress people with his still being “buff” which doesn’t work so well wearing a suit jacket.”
It works perfectly fine for many men who don’t buy their suits off the rack at Walmart or even Target. Men who go to better stores (even something as “mainstream” as Men’s Wearhouse) and get their suits fitted for them manage to show off their “buffness” even while wearing a suit jacket.
Not to mention everything he wears looks like he slept in it. A ‘buff’ weasel is still a weasel.