Now You Know WHY He’s “Gym Bag” Jordan. It’s His IQ.

Oh, it was easy to see this one coming. Simply because the House MAGA GOP is every bit as brain dead stupid as the Tennessee GOP. And nothing in their miserable privileged lives has prepared them for the spot they suddenly find themselves in.

It was easy when they were in the minority. They didn’t have Chairs, and they didn’t have subpoena power. Which meant that MAGA mental midgets like Gyn Bag Jordan, Sugar Daddy Gaetz, Machine Gun Marjie, and Pistol Packin’ Lauren could fill their empty days, as well as their empty heads, spending five minutes each screeching and bellowing at poor people who had no choice but to take their sh*t because they had been called in front of the panel. Life was good, the FUX News lineup every night had plenty of tape to roll.

But then the GOP barely inched into the House, and suddenly House Squeaker Cavein McCarthy made Jordan the Chair of the Judiciary committee. Jordan should have been a piggie in slop. Now he could fill his time ordering DOJ officials like Merrick Garland, Lisa Monaco, and Special Counsel in front of the committee to sit there, fold their arms, shake their heads, and tell Jordan to stuff it, they weren’t testifying to any matters from open investigations. But where’s the fun in getting flipped double barrel birds in front of cameras?

And then along came Jordan’s savior, Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg. Bragg had the outrageous courage to indict The Scruffy Guru on a laundry list of state charges. Finally! A victim he could sink his teeth into. After all, Jordan is a committee Chair on congress, Bragg is nothing more than a puny city District Attorney.

And so Gym Bag put his signature sneer on his face, and wrote a nasty letter to Bragg, insisting that he turn over documents, communications, and witness lists, and appear before the committee to explain himself. Bragg basically brushed Jordan, with a public response, telling him that his committee had no truck in Manhattan, and to crawl back into his own sandbox and shut up.

Did you ever notice that cretins like Jordan, Gaetz, Greene and Boebert always have the same reaction to outright rejection, especially public rejection? Jordan was true to form. He threw a Trumper tantrum, threatening to subpoena Bragg if he didn’t comply. And when Bragg gave him the Bronx Cheer, Jordan subpoenaed former Manhattan DA special assistant Marc Pomerantz instead.

Look, Bragg is obviously a tolerant man, but how often do you have to keep sending the same brat to the corner. And so today, Bragg went into the federal courthouse in the Southern District of New York, and filed a federal lawsuit again Jim Jordan, in his role as House Judiciary Chair, to Force him to stop from trying to interfere in a legal state prosecution. There aren’t enough middle fingers on your hands for that kind of a 21 bird salute.

Jordan was clearly stunned by this sucker punch from Bragg. Like any bully, Jordan is used to having his way with the little kids, and when the kid with the pocket protector knocked him on his *ss, it threw him for a loop. It took Jordan hours to respond, and his response was pure cowardly bluster. He wrote First an out of control local prosecutor wrongfully indicts a former President, and then he sues to keep a legitimate oversight committee from investigating his political persecution! Which, if you strip all of the whiny GOP poli-speak says, I’m boned. Sideways. And you’ll notice that Jordan didn’t say anything about seeing Bragg in court!

Jordan is so far out of bounds with this lame nonsense that he’s in the parking lot outside the stadium. The first is the issue of States Rights. The constitution clearly states that All matters that are not directly relegated to the federal government are automatically relegated to the states. Or something close to that. And clearly, the right for a state to establish legally a set of criminal and civil laws, and to enforce those laws belongs to the state. Jordan is wrong.

And Jordan knew it too. Because he tried a lowlife bait and switch to cover his exposed derriere. In his letter to Bragg, Jordan claimed that this request was legitimate congressional oversight, in order to craft legislation to stop such state persecutions from taking place in the future. 

Wrong again numb nuts. Federal laws are federal laws. They don’t write state laws, nor do they override them. If the federal government thinks that a state law is unconstitutional, the only leg the government has to stand on, then the DOJ takes the state to court to try to invalidate the law. Here’s an example. Sugar Daddy Matt Gaetz was credibly accused of transporting a minor over state lines for the purposes of sex. That’s a violation of The Mann Act, a federal law. And so it wasn’t the Florida prosecutors, but the Florida US Attorney who investigated the case. You can’t tell the states what to do just because you don’t like the way they do it.

I’m literally shaking my head. I’m no lawyer, but in 50 years of following politics, I’ve seen plenty of legal shenanigans, and I’ve studied the way laws are crafted and enforced. And Gym Bag screwed the pooch yet again. He tried to pull a quick one in a power play to give Traitor Tot’s lawyers an advance look at what Bragg has. And Bragg very publicly stood up to him, and now he looks like exactly what he is. A world class SCHMUCK!