God I love it when that little light finally goes off over my fat head. From the day that Nikki Haley made her candidacy announcement, ahd following each new sacrificial lamb, one question has kept burning through my brain. What the hell are these schmucks doing here?!

After all, it’s not like any of them have a snowballs chance in hell. Just look at the history. In 2016 Traitor Tot was widely virerd like the Democrats Crazy California bead lady, a joke. But Trump easily napalmed his way through a field larger than this one, including one member of the current Klown Kar circus, Chris Christie.

In 2020 His Lowness was damaged goods, unpopular nationally, beset by scandal, and months away from his first impeachment in the US House. A repeat of 2016, with a large field all hammering away at El Pendejo Presiente could sink him then and there. So the RNC rigged the game simply by refusing to hold primaries, and anointing Trump with the nomination.

And now in 2024, the shoe is on the other foot. It’s everybody but The Cheeto Prophet who’s the joke. As former GOP strategist Matthew Dowd pointed out today, in 2016 Trump never led the field by more than 14 points, and that was well into the primaries, when he had racked up early winner-take-all primary states. Today, six months ahead of the Iowa caucuses, Trump is up by 30 points over Flop Gov Ron DeSantis. Trump’s stranglehold on the party is complete.

So I ask again, What are these overstuffed buffoons doing here?! After all, these are all experienced political creatures, they can read the political tea leaves as well as any gypsy. And it’s not like the RNC won’t step in and tip the table again if Il Douche gets in trouble. They’ve already done it.

It was former RNC Chair Michael Steele who did the honors of flipping that little light on for me. In an interview on MSNBC, Nikki Haley’s name came up. And Steele laughed and said, Look, forget about Nikki Haley. She isn’t running for President, she’s running for Vice President. The faithful soldier, who never criticizes Trump is offering a bold new direction” in an effort to attract some moderate Republicans back to the fold for a Trump-Haley ticket.

OOH!-RAH! That was the missing crystal ball I had been looking for. Because when you look at this entire slow moving train wreck begins to make perfect sense.

With the sole exception of one brain dead moron, none of them are running for President in 2024. Instead all of them are laying the groundwork to run for President in 2028. And when you look at it through that prism, the rainbow is perfectly clear.

Look, The Mango Messiah is going to be the GOP nominee in 2024. That’s already predetermined. So there has to be another reason for these ass clowns to go running off across the country besides chasing a little strange. And a Trump nomination only leaves two possible scenario.

First, Trump gets his ass Wookie stomped again by Biden in 2024. That basically marks the end of the reighn of King Donald, and the field is wide open for all of these more moderate conservatives going into the great GOP 2028 rehab project.

The second scenario is that The Tiny Thumbs Diktator defies the odds and wins in 2024. Here’s where the rules come in. By law, a President can only serve two terms. There’s nothing in the law about consecutive terms, it just says two terms. Which means that the 2028 GOP field is just as wide open to start the Great GOP rehab project. Either way, Trump is a one trick pony, whether as the ultimate loser, or as a lame duck.

As I’ve written before, different people run for President for different reasons, and it isn’t always to get elected. In 2020 CQA House Rep Eric Swalwell ran a campaign on the sole platform of gun reform, to elevate it on the Democratic platform. And OH Rep Tim Ryan ran to get his agenda out there, hoping to enlarge his statewide name recognition in Ohio before a 2022 US Senate run. And let’s not forget that Arkansas Governor William Jefferson Clinton ran in 1992 against pappy Bush to expand his national name recognition for an open presidential seat in 1996. Then Bush got trapped in a messy recession, and Clinton got behind the Resolute Desk four years earlier than planned.

So all of these jokers are actually auditioning for 2028, trying to build their national name recognition, state-by-state operations and power base, and building a fundraising network for 2028. It sings like a birdie.

With a single exception. Florida runt pretender Ron DeSantis. And DeSantis has nobody to blame for his current predicament than his own stupid self. Because he was warned, and by sage advisors.

Back when Pisssantis was making moo-moo noises of running against FrankenTrump, he was visited by several senior GOP strategists, operatives, and even deep pocket donors. And their advice was the same, Don’t be a moron. The nomination is Trump’s for the plucking. Finish your term, make some headlines, and in 2027 when you’re termed out, write a book and start laying the groundwork for 2028. If Trump wins in 2024, you can always run on “Four more years of Trump! And remember, these are people with more political brains for breakfast that DeathSantis has after a seven course meal at the Four Seasons.

But DeSantis had already drunk too much of his own Kool-Ade. After gently prying himself away from Trump after the 2020 election, and getting reelected in a landslide in 2022 against a patsy Democratic candidate, DeSantis convinced himself that he could run to the right of Trump as Trump without the baggage to attract disgruntled Trump and former Trump voters, and also splash his vaunted Florida success story for more moderate voters.

Question. If you have the chance of seeing either Bob Dylan, or a Bob Dylan impersonator, which one will you go see? Yeah, GOP base voters too. Especially with the way that DeSantis’s whole legislative accomplishment list is now tied up in court, or the subject of weekly protests, he has more baggage than an American Tourister store. And by becoming even more hysterically racist, homophobic, and transphobic than Trump, he is poisoning the well for himself in 2028, whether Trump wins in 2024 or not.

So there you have it. This entire 2024 GOP presidential primary kerfuffle is nothing more than a freshman high school drama class rehearsal for a play that they won’t put on until their senior year. And if you’ve got a better reason for this ridiculous behavior, I’m all years. See ya in the comments.

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  1. Makes sense to me. Except maybe for the Hayley running for VP part. Not gonna happen. If wannabe Princess Ivanka was still in daddum’s camp and had him and his sick, twisted fantasies about her wrapped around her little finger she was a woman he might seriously have considered. But as I said in a comment elsewhere earlier today I don’t see a woman out there in the GOP who Trump would find anywhere near enough of a “hot babe” to be his running mate. Not that objectively speaking Nikki Haley is unattractive. However she’s not tall. She doesn’t have a “big rack” (doesn’t matter to Trump if fake or not – just bigger boobs than average) and worst of all her heritage shows in her skin tone. She’s a woman of color. For Trump, such an attractive woman who isn’t white might be okay for a one-nighter but that’s all. For Haley the sad and STUPID thing is that she served in the Trump administration in a role away from DC. Up at the U.N. she got serious international cred to go along with being Gov. of a state with foreign manufacturing being a big thing. When she resigned to go back to private life she actually had little enough of the Trump stench to be able to was it off.

    Had Trump not been determined after getting whomped in 2020 to run again she might have made a formidable candidate. She’d gotten what she needed from serving at the U.N. and could have played up being the one to “retire” (finally!) that racist SC state flag. She was OUT, and could have sat on the sidelines, written a book or two and made generic supporting the GOP and its candidates comments when pressed by journalists who took the time to look her up for an interview. Instead, she made what will turn out to be the politically fatal choice of becoming a Trumpkin. She might for a (short) time replace Kari Lake but she will suffer the same fate of being cast aside. But actually vying for the job as V.P. will lead to her political death. For sucking up to Trump she’ll deserve it and when the moment comes I’ll say good riddance and don’t let the doorknob hit you in the a$$ on the way out.



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