I don’t ever want to hear anybody tell me what a doddering dotard President Joe Biden is. Sh*t! He’s been doing this for a living for 51 bloody years. Kevin McCarthy was a whopping 7 years old when Biden took his first legislative oath of office. And oh, dear Lord, did it just show.

After these negotiations, and looking at the agreement, when I look at House Squeaker Cavein McCarthy, what I see is the cover photo on the case of The Jerk. Kevin McCarthy standing there in his shorts and a t-shirt, wearing a bathrobe with his pants around his ankles while he clutches a chair and a thermos.

And I also don’t want to hear anymore nonsense about how Biden’s only mistake was in swearing at the start that He wouldn’t negotiate on raising the debt ceiling. Their logic is that when he finally climbed down on his high horse and negotiated, it made him look weak. Bullsh*t. By repeatedly refusing to negotiate for more than two months, it was Biden who forced McCarthy to blink, back off of the Hose passed bill, and start negotiating like a normal adult.

And while it’s mondo fun to describe McCarthy as the feature cover of The Jerk, politically McCarthy is anything but. From day one, when McCarthy passed the draconian budget bill in the House, and demanded negotiations, the one thing he was crystal clear on was that The United States would not default on its debt. But the longer the standoff went on, and McCarthy repeatedly looked into the placed poker face of President Biden as he again reiterated that he would not negotiate the debt ceiling, McCarthy realized he was in over his head.

And so McCarthy quietly went back to the sane conservative members of his caucus, and started fleshing out the outlines of a budget deal that could actually pass the GOP House with moderate Democratic support.

And then McCarthy went into serious work mode negotiating with Biden. And it worked. And McCarthy came out with his pants around his ankles, holding a chair and a thermos in his hands. Because while Biden got to save every one of his signature legislative achievements of the first two years, what did McCarthy get?

He succeeded in clawing back some unspent Covid relief money that would have to have been returned to the Treasury Department eventually anyway. He got some work requirements to the SNAP food stamps program that the GOP has been lusting after, but Biden got exemptions for veterans and homeless people that ensured that the final outcome was a basic draw. McCarthy paid lip service to major GOP corporate donors by stripping a measly $2 billion out of the $80 billion IRS funding increase the Democrats passed to chase down rich sh*tpokes, but Biden retained the ability to shuffle that money around to other programs that the GOP had cut to help to offset them. Both sides got something, which is what a compromise is, but Biden made out like a bandit.

The end result was predictable on both sides. On the Democratic side, the Jabberwocky Jayapal Progressive Caucus is up in arms over the social spending cuts that Biden gave away to McCarthy in order to avoid a global financial calamity. And on the GOP side, the 25-30 member House Freedom Caucus is baying for McCarthy’s blood. And McCarthy could care less.

Because he kept stoppers. Neither Biden nor McCarthy ever even seriously considered trying to convince their extreme flank caucuses to support the bill. They don’t have to, simply because they already know from internal whip counts that there are enough moderates in each party to get the bill over te finish line. Earlier tonight the bill passed out of the House GOP dominated Rules Committee by a vote of 7-6. All 3 MAGAt’s on the committee voted NO, and the Democrats drew straws to determine which one would vote YEA to get it to the floor for a vote.

But here’s the McGuffin. In successfully crafting this deal, with the assistance of Biden and the Democrats moderates, he basically showed that The jesters have no clothes! The Freedom Caucus is enraged at the sellout, but their resistance is meaningless, since McCarthy will have the Democratic help he needs to get the bill over the finish line. F*ck ’em. And if one of the MAGAt’s decides to pull a Vacate the Chair vote in the House, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if there was a Gentlemen’s Agreement between McCarthy and the Democrats to ensure that there would be enough Democratic support to save his Speakership.

If this works, it’s going to be a sweet moment of revenge for Kevin McCarthy. MAGA *ssholes like Machine Gun Marjie, Gym Bag Jordan, and Sugar Daddy Matt Gaetz made McCarthy suffer through 15 long, tortuous rounds of balloting while they extracted every las thing they wanted from him before electing him Speaker. And hopefully some time late tomorrow, McCarthy will be able to show them that they ain’t all that and a bag of chips. As Shakespeare was wont to say, Revenge is a dish best served cold. Here endeth the lesson.

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  1. LOL. Brilliant!

    Optics. It’s all optics. Everything of substance is hashed out behind closed doors, including the script. What we get to see is the performance. Tomorrow in the House the curtain will rise, the actors will enter, say their piece, do a little dance, and exit. The bill will pass, there will be cheers and hoots, some monkey howls, and then off it zooms to the Senate for Act II. Different actors, same process, same result. Friday in the glare of lights and a crush of media it arrives at the White House for the Epilogue: Joe Biden grinning at old Resolute flashes his pen and in a dramatic flourish signs the thing into law. His denouement: “Today we have enacted a bill that secures our country’s future and demonstrates to the world how our democracy works.”

  2. These asshats couldn’t pass a legitimate civics class, while dark Brandon has been a political surgeon since they were pooping their diapers. Let’s hope the democrats can pull in the dumbass voters who voted for Jill stein, and the abstaining bernie bros, which gave the election to Trump. I agree with the progressive caucus in regards to social justice, but they need to put on their adult clothes and accept that you don’t win the war in one battle. To enable a fascist takeover because things didn’t go your way is a level of arrogance and stupidity that qualifies one for Maga membership, despite what you believe about your ‘ideals’.

  3. “You don’t always get what you want, but u get what u need”! Mick has said & it’s the truth! Vote Blue, so we don’t have to compromise w/RW fascists!


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