Mr. Carlson? Your Limo To Hell Is Here. Mr. Hannity, Ms. Bartiromo, and Ms. Ingraham Are Already Inside

Oh, I am so looking forward to this. After a useless 24 hour delay for God knows what, it’s finally game freakin’ on! FUX News is finally about to find out what rules and journalistic integrity mean. And God, as vindictive as I am on this subject, how I wish President Biden would sign an executive order requiring the court to cover the trial live gavel-to-gavel.

There is so much to look forward to here. For starters, here’s one that nobody else is talking about. You heard it here first. The judge has ruled that FUX News patriarch and founder Rupert Murdoch can be called to testify by the Dominion lawyers. OK, you already know that. But did you think about this? Rupert Murdoch is like 91 years old, and several weeks ago he spent more than eight hours in deposition with the Dominion lawyers. Look, I don’t care how sharp Murdoch is at 91, the Dominion lawyers are going to grill him all over again on critical issues, so they can look for discrepancies in his deposition testimony to hammer him over the head with. Be honest. You think they’ll find anything? Murdoch may be on the stand himself longer than most trials last.

At its heart, the Dominion-FUX News case is a documents case. Specifically two different sets of documents. One boxcar load of FUX documents showing that they knew full well that they were defaming Dominion over and over again every night, and a moving truck full of Dominion documents telling FUX News to Cut that sh*t out!

But where’s the fun in that? That’s kind of like having somebody read The Pentagon Papers to you. It’s time for some Star power baby! What we all want is to hear from the Prime Time Players!

And they’re all so shallow and pathetic. Pop Quiz!

Q: What’s the one difference between Lou Dobbs, Sean Hannity, Maria Bartiromo, Tucker Carlson, and Morton Downey Jr.?

A: Morton Downey Jr. never pretended he was a journalist or news man

They’re all the same and interchangeable. They each spend an hour staring seriously into the camera, spouting puerile bulls*it, raising their voices and pounding the desk as necessary, and pretending they’re Walter Cronkite or Barbara Walters. And they’re nothing more than a shifty bunch of soulless propagandists.

The one I would pay cash money to fly out and see on the witness stand is Mother Tucker. The ultimate bottom feeder. CNN gave him a break, then quickly realized their mistake, and dumped him like a newspaper rolled around dead fish heads. Then he actually stopped in at MSNBC for two cups of coffee before they decided they liked a few facts in their journalism. Which led him to his own personal cesspool at FUX.

What is going to make this so much fun is that every one of these overstuffed poltroons have spent their entire careers feeling invincible. Producers, staffers, wardrobe and makeup people, all treat them like the Romanovs. And every one of their feeble minded viewers gladly choke up shekels to buy whatever senseless, incomprehensible book they put out next. Hannity is a well known slumlord from the riches he’s raked in at FUX.

But no more. Not now. When their names are called, they’re going to have to walk into the well of the courtroom, raise their hand and take the oath, and then sit down. And for the first time in decades, they’re stripped naked. No producers, no directors, no script people, no gofers. They’re going to have to sit there and answer questions they really don’t want asked. But they will be.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Like Trump, they have used their increasing success and popularity with a growing viewership of low education dunces to convince themselves that they’re invincible, the modern Gods of far right journalism. And in the FUX bubble sphere, they answer to nobody!

Because the Dominion lawyers have it all. They have the texts, they have the e-mails, they have all the group chats, and they have the voicemails. And they’re going to be asked all of these questions, and have to try to find a way to answer that not only doesn’t make them look like total *ssholes, but that also doesn’t open them up to personal legal and criminal liability.

And here’s my favorite part. They did all of this thinking that nobody else would ever know. But this is a public hearing, and as such, a daily transcript will be published daily on the court’s website. And now everybody else is going to know. Everybody from Rachel Maddow to Lawrence O’Donnell. From John King to Erin Burnett. From Stephen Colbert to Jimmy Fallon. From Jon Oliver to Bill Maher. From Mother Jones to Salon, from Political to Daily Beast. They’ll all peruse those transcripts for the most embarrassing stuff imaginable, and then rub these soulless ghouls noses in it for months.

But here comes the McGuffin, and it’s one of my all time favorites. These sleazy toads are going to strut into court thinking that everything is fine. After all, FUX News doesn’t even admit that the lawsuit exists for their viewers. And these pocket Goebbels’s are all sure that they can spin whatever fallout comes along, since their sheeple don’t get their news from anywhere else. No harm, no foul. Just a little personal embarrassment. Which will sting.

But you know who else is watching this whole sad saga? The major national advertisers for these four charlatans! And as national scorn and humiliation on Carlson, Hannity, Bartiromo and Ingraham, These advertisers are going to have to sit down and talk about how much longer they want their good names associated with these national embarrassments.

It’s going to be a long 4-6v weeks. But I think we’ll see plenty of fireworks before Dominion spanks FUX like a newborn baby. And just think. After Dominion is through? Smartmatic is next up in line with a $1.2 billion defamation suit. Stock up on Redenbacher’s, it’s going to be a looooong summer and fall.