Memo To Ron DeSantis And The Entire GOP. Go Back To Sleep!

You know, I can’t figure out why almost all of the current male GOP caucus members don’t have Grizzley Adams beards because they can’t look at themselves in the mirror in the morning to shave, or female GOP members look like a woman in a bathrobe who answered the door for the UPS driver, because they can’t bear to look at themselves to put on their makeup.

The entire structural GOP has gone through a humiliating and degrading experience since that day in 2015 when His Lowness farted his way down that schlock gilt escalator to announce that Mexicans are rapists! In 2016 they declared total fealty to The Cheeto Prophet because he brought them to the Promised Land. They stuck with Traitor Tot through the Access Hollywood video, as well as multiple sexual assault accusations and court cases.

Then, in 2018 and 2020, the GOP, both incumbents as well as challengers for Democratic seats took the next step. Both incumbents as well as GOP challengers all set themselves the task of becoming more Trump than Trump! And got shot down in flames. Some 40 of them lost GOP House seats, and Kentucky elected a Democratic Governor. They learned a bitter lesson, You can’t out Trump Trump.

In their insane desire to emulate Traitor Tot, they looked at his speeches, and thought that they had finally bottled the magic elixir. Culture Wars! NO. NO. NO! Trump has never been a culture warrior. What Trump is is an unrepentant racist and homophobe. But the makeup of most congressional districts and competitive states made it impossible for them to follow the same playbook.

So they had to come up with a catchy phrase to allow them to mask their racism and homophobia. And they settled on Culture Wars! They tried to mask their racism and homophobia by somehow inferring that it was all of the innocent white children who were paying the price of the Liberal agenda. They focused on white grievances such as race shaming innocent white children with authentic history being taught, pedophile grooming by teaching alternate sexuality in class rooms, and Critical Race Theory teaching students that white people were responsible for all of black peoples problems. Which is true.

The problem is that it bombed on its ass. It didn’t move the hard core GOP base, who are already all overt racists and homophobes, and it turns out that the rest of us don’t really mind our children getting unfiltered history in classrooms, and it’s kind of cool to have a gay couple for neighbors. Which meant that the GOP needed a new slogan for their culture wars.

Enter Tiny Cancer, pipsqueak Florida Governor Ron Pissantis. Pissantis basically created the concept of WOKE! Woke! was the secret weapon. It took all of the attention off of the racism and homophobia of the GOP’s platform, and instead turned it against the Liberals for supporting all of the social issues that the GOP hates.

DeSantis got into a high stakes pissing contest with the largest employer in Florida, Disney, over their objection to his Don’t Say Gay school law. His legislature has passed laws basically making Florida schools the equivalent of 1930’a-1940’s Nazi Germany, and the state is bleeding teachers, including college professors at an unsustainable rate. And DeSantis’s lap poodle legislature passed a law basically outlawing undocumented immigrants, with the end result that Florida produce will rot in the fields with nobody to pick it.

But the worst part for the GOP? Nobody. Cares. In fact, exactly the opposite. Recent polling finds that 64% of Americans feel that being WOKE! is actually a good thing! They see it as being educated and aware of the issues around them, and being capable to formulate an intelligent response. Which is exactly the opposite of that DeSantis and the GOP wants!

So please, Tallahassee Thumbelina and the rest of the GOP. Give. It. Up! Your imbecilic idea of culture wars fell flat on its ass. And your pathetic attempt to cloak your racism and homophobia under a hashtag #WOKE isn’t working either, because the majority of the country can actually read the definition of the word. Go back to whining about less federal government intrusion, lower taxes, and a stronger national defense, including supporting Ukraine before it’s too late. Because right now, you’re catering exclusively to a minority of the population that can’t win a national election. Trump is a one trick pony. He can’t win a national election, and neither can you if you keep relying solely on appealing to his base. Just a word of wisdom to the stupid.