I don’t know how many more of these Onion-esque headlines I can write without seriously wondering if either I’ve gone stark, raving mad or America has — and it’s got to be one or the other. I don’t just dream this stuff up, I find it in reputable places.
Here’s the Judicial Watch press release, dated May 4. You can’t make this stuff up.
(Washington, DC) Judicial Watch announced today that it filed a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) lawsuit against the United States Department of Homeland Security for records of communication between Secret Service officials assigned to the White House regarding the Biden family dogs (Judicial Watch v. U.S. Department of Homeland Security(No. 1:21-cv-01194)).
The lawsuit was filed after the Secret Service failed to process records in a timely manner in response to a March 10, 2021, FOIA request seeking:
All records of communications between USSS officials responsible for protection at the White House regarding the Biden family dogs, named Champ and Major.
On April 12, 2021, the Secret Service replied to Judicial Watch’s FOIA request saying that they had identified responsive records which were being processed but have yet to produce them.
On March 9, 2021, the White House confirmed that President Biden’s dog Major, “did in fact bite someone at the White House, causing a “minor injury.” Press secretary Jen Psaki confirmed said that the dogs, “are still getting acclimated and accustomed to their new surroundings and new people.”
On March 30, 2021, the White House reported that, “President Biden’s dog Major on Monday afternoon bit another employee, who then required medical attention.” The encounter reportedly took place on the White House South Lawn Monday, March 29.
“The public has a right to know the details about any incident in which Secret Service personnel were injured by President Biden’s dog,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “We have no doubt that Major and Champ are good dogs but politicians and bureaucrats can’t be trusted.”
Bill and Hillary thought they had it rough, Judicial Watch sued them all the time, but nobody was going after Chelsea’s cat. Maybe that could be the source material for another conspiracy theory, the Cat That Terrorized the White House Kitchen, or something to that effect. “A former pastry chef reveals that Socks would show up reeking of vodka every morning and snarling for tuna to get over its hangover.” Maybe Socks jumped on Bill’s laptop and altered foreign policy, ya spose?
The message here is clear, nothing is off limits where Biden family members are concerned, and you don’t even have to be human. Bess Levin, Vanity Fair
Last month, Major was sent away for a second round a training after nipping a Secret Service agent’s hand in March and then a National Park Service employee in April. It’s not clear, exactly, what Judicial Watch believes it may uncover through this not-at-all waste of taxpayer dollars, but strong possibilities likely include:
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Emails showing Champ received $100,000 from a lobbying firm working on behalf of Big Kibble
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A cover-up by the White House communications staff regarding a Washington Post story it had killed about both dogs not letting the Secret Service agents detailed to them use their bathrooms
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A multiyear endorsement deal Major signed with Pup-Peroni three days after the inauguration, despite it being illegal for first pets to profit off of the presidency
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Evidence pointing to Major’s involvement with Hunter Biden’s Burisma dealings
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A sex scandal
At the end of April, the Bidens announced that they will soon be adding a cat to the first family. But where did that cat come from? What skeletons are in its closet? Hopefully Judicial Watch will be on that case too.
The phrase “dog days of summer” has just taken on a new meaning.
Well I’ll be dog-goned. Surely it’s time to paws for thought and stop barking up trees
Or just to take a(nother) bite out of the GQP!
Anything is paws-ible when you’re having a ruff day. They’d better watch out for the pup-erazzi.
This reminds me of all the fuss that was made about Biden giving his wife a dandelion. Tucker Carlson had an apoplectic fit about it. I wanted to ask him if it was a slow news day, when this is the most important thing he can find to talk about? Really, they are trying to make something out of nothing and it is beyond tiresome.
Kinda reminds me of when Bill Clinton was President, and the republiQanons were trying to dig up any dirt that they could on President Clinton and his family members…
I remember, gods help me…and THAT nonsense had more substance than THIS crap.
Good heavens, the GOP has virtually gone beyond repair, a DC, “Madam”, has been found to torment M.G., the lead Republican in Congress is trying to steal Biden’s credits, NOW, we have to wonder about the crazy and bizarre people suing different government units for extremely important information …
Like the children of top politicians should be out of bounds until they are at least 21 years old … who knows what obscene reasons this group has to know about these new additions to the Biden clan?
Hmmm…maybe some of Judicial Watch’s insiders were the ones who got bit by Major (in which case, good boy!) and that’s why they’re suing? Regardless, this is a sign of how little of an angle of attack any of them have on Uncle Joe.
Dogs can be pretty good judges of people. They can also be quite protective of not just their humans but friend of their humans. Thinking back to my own doggies, and especially all the back to ole Ruff and a memorable incident in the fall of 1975 I can’t help but wonder if Major was simply protecting someone he knew to be good from some asshole by giving them a “warning nip.” Conservatives, be they politicians or reporters have a propensity to be assholes so that explain the dog’s actions.
What Denis said.
Their motives are a mystery to me. What drives these nutsos?
I’d like someone to sue Judicial Watch for fraud. I’m not going to go to their actual website (there’s not enough soap and hot water to get rid of the slime and sleaze and rank filth I’d get from doing it) but when I did a Google search, obviously the group’s own website popped up as the first search item.
Here’s how the blurb under the link reads: “Judicial Watch, a conservative foundation, fights for accountability and integrity in law, politics and government. Because no one is above the law!”
And scrolling down the page, their Facebook link appears with this: “A conservative, non-partisan educational foundation promoting transparency,…”
And yet, how many times has Judicial Watch gone after conservative politicians with the same zealotry it’s attacked Democrats? And where, exactly, was Judicial Watch during the Trump years? I don’t recall a single effort to fight for “accountability and integrity” or to promote “transparency” against Trump or his cronies.