I’m Serious. Prepare For A Government Shutdown. A Long One

I’m totally fed up. From where I’m sitting, you can stop calling this the Party of Trump, and instead start calling it the Q-Anon Cult. I have often opined that you can’t teach the willfully stupid. Mostly I use that in reference to the d*ckheads of Q-Anon. They gleefully admit in interviews that they don’t even believe half of the sh*t they spout off constantly, but as long as it drives libtards insane, they’re gonna keep right on at it, out of obstinance.

You can now say the same thing for the House GOP. What we’re seeing right now isn’t just unutterable bullsh*t, it’s deteriorated below that to a 3rd grade pissing contest. And both sides have now set the unwritten rules so that there is no possible exit strategy from these flaming morons from the Chinese Bo they’ve put themselves in.

It flows along a perfectly readable and predictable path, so let’s briefly see how we got to this insane sh*t show. The GOP won the 2022 midterms by the skin of their teeth. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy had wisely used the two years from 2020-2022 in order to lobby for, and solidify support for the Speakership if the GOP retook the House in 2022. In so doing, he basically became the only logical candidate in January of 2023.

But there was a problem. Freedom Caucus co-founder Matt Gaetz hates McCarthy’s guts. Not only does Gaetz carry a grudge over how, after riding the then Tea Party into the House, almost immediately jettisoned the group to chase advancement, but as House Minority Leader, McCarthy refused to interfere with the ongoing House Ethics committee investigation on Gaetz’s behalf. But Gaetz was still smart enough to realize that they had nobody but McCarthy who could get 217 votes.

So Gaetz made McCarthy’s life a living hell. He forced him to go through 17 humiliating rounds of voting, during which he extracted the kind of extortion concessions that would enable Gaetz to get rid of McCarthy whenever he pleased. And after spending nine months threatening McCarthy weekly with a motion to vacate the Chair, three weeks ago Gaetz finally pulled the trigger, and with the assistance of seven other Freedom caucus pinheads, McCarthy was out.

Which regally pissed off 200 moderate and non insane GOP House members. The GOP then held a closed door caucus to come up with a new candidate for Speaker. It was a foregone conclusion that Traitor Tot butt boy Jim Jordan had it in the bag, but when the votes were counted, Steve Scalise kicked Jordan’s ass. But that wouldn’t do, Trump said that Jordan was the next Speaker. So the Freedom Caucus went on an underhanded smear campaign about Scalise’s health until he dropped out, and then nominated Jordan.

Trump f*cked up. A political imbecile, he never even considered the internal mechanics of House GOP politics. The petty grievances and grudges, the subliminal power plays. There was a solid bloc of McCarthy loyalists, along with the last shreds of traditional moderate GOP members who were never going to allow Jordan the chance to turn the US House into the 1938 German Reichstag. Jordan lost three consecutive ballots, and got some payback by making every losing margin worse than the previous one. Jordan finally threw the towel into the middle of the ring, muttering No mas, no mas!

Back to the drawing board. The GOP spent the weekend accepting nine names for Speaker, and then holding a round robin of ballots to winnow the field down to one. The field contained seven candidates who had voted to reject the 2020 election, and two who voted to certify it. Wouldn’t ya know it, one of the two certifiers won, Minnesota’s Tom Emmer. This was totally unacceptable to the Freedom caucus sh*t-for-brains. Emperor Zero flipped a social media thumbs down, Emmer quickly had 20 rock solid NO votes against him, walked into the caucus room, said I quit!, and walked out with a smile on his face.

Now the latest proposed sacrificial lamb is some klown named Johnson, apparently so spineless that he needs a steel rod shoved up his ass so he can stand up straight. The hope is that he’s so wimpy that everybody will look at him like a new puppy, and confirm him so that they can boss him around.

Sorry guys, I don’t buy it. The GOP House has devolved into what most of us would call a Mexican standoff. You now have a situation in which it doesn’t matter who the candidate is that comes out of the vote-o-rama in the closed caucus. There are 10-20 moderate McCarthy loyalists that will reject any Freedom caucus thug that comes through, and 10-20 freedom caucus MAGAt’s who are solid NO’s for any moderate who might even dream of working with Democrats to solve problems.

And as usual, El Pendejo Presidente has pissed n  the punchbowl. Fearing the possible internal demolition of his precious Freedom caucus Gestapo, Trump has made election denial a litmus test for Speaker and voting, with possible far right primary challenges a threat to make moderate GOP members think. And it has also been ordained that the new Speaker e elected with GOP votes only. There will be no power sharing agreement.

It is a true Mexican standoff. And there’s no reason for either side to back down. The 10-20 McCarthy moderates are having fun sticking it in the eye of the Freedom caucus. And the Freedom caucus is literally fighting for its life, with The Cheeto Prophet throwing his full weight behind them. And those remaining few moderates are unlikely to risk a primary challenge to reach a hand across the aisle.

It would be both ridiculous and funny if it wasn’t for the simple fact that a whole lot of people are about to get f*cking hurt. And bad. But what difference does it make when it doesn’t affect these misfit toys? The Democrats have stood on their heads to make it clear that they’re ready to help, but any GOP outreach will be considered an act of political apostasy.

The House is going to shut down. Which is fine with the Freedom caucus, they live for the disruption. And it isn’t going to reopen anytime soon once it closes. It won’t reopen until the constituent outrage  against GOP House members raises the personal threat level of being turfed out higher than facing the wrath of Dhon by reaching across the aisle to finally get this sh*t up and running again.

This is what happens when performance art overtakes legislation in congress. The 2023 GOP House has never been interested in legislating, it’s all just a freak show to them, meant to increase campaign contributions and their face time on FUX News. But in another 27 days, play time is going to be over. They’re about to come to grips with the fact that they were elected by constituents, and those constituents have needs. And they’re going to have incredibly short leashes when it comes to grandstanding political bullsh*t when they’re struggling to make the utility payments, or make their small business payrolls.

I will leave you, and the GOP with this cautionary tale. For years, the Commonwealth of Virginia was one of the most securely gerrymandered GOP states in the country. So successful that whole blocs of seats went unchallenged by a Democratic opponent. They were secure because there was nobody for their constituents to vote for to get their lazy asses out.

And then came Trump. And the DNC and the Virginia state Democratic party made a tactical decision. Challenge every state House seat. Which was easy to do, since grassroots candidates were literally pounding down the doors at Democratic offices for help in signing up to run.

The Democratic insurgents out fundraised the sh*t out of the entrenched GOP incumbents, who for the most part, having gone unopposed for cycle after cycle, had forgotten how to campaign. And when all was said and done, the Democrats of 2019 came within a coin toss of flipping the Virginia House.

And that’s what the GOP House is setting themselves up for on a national scale. The Democrats under Jamie Harrison have bought into a 50 state strategy, contesting every seat. And insurgent Democratic candidates have proven themselves as being very proficiently out fundraise entrenched GOP incumbents. And don’t forget this. So far this year, in off year and special elections, the Democrats are +8 from where they performed in those districts in 2022. Which is well above the safety zone of most district gerrymandering levels. The GOP House is about to get burned again, and doesn’t even know it because they’re having so much fun pissing all over one another.