I Let The Skinhead Trumpite A$$hole Have It Both Barrels — A Rant

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I’m always talking about the two Americas and the cultural war currently raging all around us. Well, I had a first-hand toe-to-toe skirmish with someone from the Other Side a few hours ago, and now that my blood pressure has returned to normal, I want to share about it. Quite frankly, as I recount the incident, I expect my blood pressure to rise back up to the 158 over 120 that it was measured at when I got to the doctor’s office today. Man, was I pi$$ed!

My story starts with me merrily blogging along (this is a great news day) and then I had to put the computer aside and go to a doctor’s appointment. So I called a Lyft and some seemingly okay young man came in a black car. So down the road we went, and I was in a good mood. The only odd thing about this ride that was different from all the other rides, was that there were paper signs plastered all over the back of the front seats about no eating or drinking in the car, seatbelts are the law, be sure to give him five stars, tips are appreciated. I said, very nicely, “You know, I’ve never seen anything like this in a Lyft before and I’ve taken hundreds of rides. Actually, I think the signs cheapen the experience. Lyft, at it’s best, is like a limo ride. It’s valid to say you must fasten your seatbelt, but other than that, I think you should lose the rest.” No, he liked all his frou frou, bla bla. So I said, “Hey, it’s your car, your career, do whatever.”

He asked me what my career was and I said, “I’m a blogger, actually. I blog about politics.” And I told him what a great news day it was and how I hated to leave my computer. So I went on about how Robert Mueller had essentially called William Barr a lying sack of shit, but not using those words, rather communicating it in legalese and gentlemanly discourse, good for him, he’s a pro. Then I said Nancy Pelosi was really going out there today. She publicly challenged Melania’s immigration to the United States and her parents chain immigration, and man, was that going to hit the fan. He was just nodding, in what I took to be assent. Realize, I’m in California and the vast majority of people here hate Trump with a laser-like intensity, although none so much as me.

Then I said, “Now here’s a news story you probably haven’t heard anything about. Some guy set fire to himself on the White House lawn today.” The driver said, “If you’re not happy with your life, you can’t blame the president.” His inflection sent off an air raid siren in my head. I said, still in my businesswoman respectful-just-askin’ voice, “Are you a Trump supporter?” He replied, “I’m a Republican, but I’m not a crazy Republican.” I said, “Good, then I assume you’re a fan of Justin Amash?” “I don’t know who that is,” he said. I explained, “Well, Amash is the GOP congressman from Michigan who is spearheading a movement to get Trump impeached. You haven’t heard about this?” “I don’t have much information,” he admitted. I said, “But you voted for Donald Trump, yes?”  “I voted for Trump because I thought it would be nice to have a businessman in office, but then when he said certain things, I said, ‘no no, you can’t say that.'”

I thought, this is drole, this a$$hole believes that the worst things Trump has done in office are a few slips of the tongue. So I said, “But you voted for him because you believed him to be a successful businessman?” “Oh, yes.” I said, “Do you still believe that?” “Well, he’s made tons of money,” he replied. I said, “No, Sir, he has not. He has lost more than he ever earned. He inherited his money, blew a lot of it, borrowed from his siblings, and then proceeded to cheat his workers and lie about his wealth to anybody who would listen.”

Silence.

By this time, as you have guessed, the “cool” older businesswoman had vanished and I had morphed into my full Ursula mode, and that’s who was in this poor son-of-a-bitch’s back seat, warming up for a full blast rant. I am put in mind of a time when Durrati read one of my rants and I happened to be talking to him afterwards about getting a bear avatar, and he said, “Get a snarling grizzly. No pooh bears for you.”

Now, those of you who read me know how writing is my religion and writing about politics in this era, is my holy quest. I truly believe the fate of democracy is at stake, as we speak. Politics is not trivia to me, it is the mechanism by which our society is going to continue to stand, or fall into the abyss. And, to my mind, I was talking to one of the jerks who are hurling it over into the abyss, as the yous and mes play tug of war and try to drag it back up over the cliff.

So I said again, “Just tell me, do you believe that Donald Trump is a successful businessman, yes or no?”  He replied, “I don’t have the particulars.” I said, “Well, Sir, they are readily available. You might glance at the front page of the Los Angeles Times occasionally. Some of Donald Trump’s tax returns were in fact released, and they conclusively proved that for people in his income bracket, he was one of the biggest losers of money in the entire country. Maybe if you had a few facts, your criteria for this man’s success would be modified.”

Now at that point he began to drive past my destination, and I said, “It’s on the left.” It was then I realized that he had somehow come at the destination bass-ackwards, because everybody else takes a route where it’s on the right.

So, this discombobulated clown, obviously lost focus on the ride — which I can’t say I blame him, because he had stepped knee deep into a pool of shit, attempting to justify his “Republican beliefs,” while I was machine gunning him with facts from the back seat, showing him his hero had clay feet, if that.  It was then that it registered on me that the guy was shaven bald, and I thought, “Oh, great a skinhead. That explains the signs in the car and the conversation. The little Nazi control freak, who worships the Aryan Fatburger God. Oh, Jeezuz.”

So, the clown turned left, in what was the nearest driveway, but he still couldn’t get it that the drop off point was the office building on the street, so up our merry way we went to Seventh Day Adventist Hospital and I had to tell him three times he was driving too far and I wasn’t going to pay for him getting lost. Finally, I snapped in frustration, “Listen! You need to turn this car around. Are you able to do that or do I just need to get out and walk?”

He managed to turn the car around and as we descended the hill, I began my final descent on his amoeba brain.

“Now I’m going to tell you this up front, so that you know what’s going on straight from the horse’s mouth. I’m going to give you one star so that I NEVER get matched up with you again, and zero tip, primarily because you’re an incompetent driver, but mostly because your incompetence spills over into other areas of life as well. Voting is a privilege that members of a democracy have. You voted for Trump based on illusion and delusion and zero facts, by your own admission. You are one of the 63 million voters in this country responsible for putting a criminal, who rightfully belongs bars, in the White House. I absolutely refuse to support anyone like you, in any way shape or form! YOU are going to be the death of my country, but not while I can help it!”

Then my dramatic exit onto the street, flourishing my cane like a stage prop, “And I respectfully suggest, Sir, that you get some facts about what’s really going on in the world so that you can wake the fuck up!” and I slammed the door and stalked up the steps. He honked his horn at me, which I guess was his way of saying fuck you, and I would have flipped him off, but it wouldn’t have been seen from the top of the steps.

I hope that I totally ruined this jerk’s day. I doubt if I woke him up, except to the fact that maybe if somebody starts talking about politics and it’s obvious they’re a Democrat, maybe the best course of action is to STFU, if you can’t factually defend your position. But looking back objectively at the situation, he, the young male, was of course going to instruct the old woman how things are in the world, because of course, she couldn’t possibly know anything and his is the superior mind. That strategy did not only did not work out for him, it kicked open a manhole cover straight into Hell.

And I’m not sorry for my part in this incident one iota. Somebody needs to tell the willfully ignorant the facts of life in the era of Trump. We are at war, and voting for a presidential candidate is not like choosing one suit over the other, or preferring a certain flavor of ice cream. If we don’t get serious about politics in this country and if we don’t have an informed electorate, then maybe it is time to kiss the Great Democratic Experiment goodbye. Maybe we could only sustain it for 240 years, until we became too uninformed and dumbed down to properly assess our situation. Maybe we’re just like the dinosaurs, when life around them changed dramatically; they were simply too stupid to cope with the situation and they died.

Abraham Lincoln was a seer. He prophesied exactly what we are experiencing now. Maybe he had the wisdom to realize that the Civil War was not really over in his day, merely the first part of it.  Lincoln said, “America will never be destroyed from without. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we defeated ourselves.”

The mission of real Americans now is to win this final battle of the Civil War — which is what we call the “cultural war” boils down to — it really is as simple as that, and as tragic. We’re still fighting the Civil War. We are totally divided right now. And I pray along with Abraham Lincoln, in the same spirit, and only a slightly different context, that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” 

This is exactly what’s at stake in the next few years, our way of life, the right to self-government.  It’s sad that we’re here, but we.are.here. And we have to act. An oblivious electorate (along with a little help from Trump’s Russian friends) put this bum in office. If the same Stepford voters do it again, I fear for the continuation of this republic.

Because I always endeavor to be fair, if anybody has a better idea about how to deal with these Trumpites, other than tell them the hard facts of life, in no uncertain terms, I am open to hearing what you have to say. I’m not saying that there wasn’t a better way to behave during this confrontation today, but it’s quite possible that for me, there is not. I am constitutionally incapable of listening to this bullshit and not react passionately with the truth — and I never cease to marvel that there are so many people out there with no idea, and worse yet — no idea that they have no idea. They think they know. Just like their beloved leader. They think they know. And what they don’t know, when they punch that ballot card, can kill us all.

 

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1 COMMENT

    • They don’t know anything, yet they get to go into a voting booth and make an ostensibly “informed” decision. I always have gotten up on all the small ballot measures, the propositions, etc. I walk in knowing what holes I’m going to punch. These people just see Trump on TV and decide he’s cool, or cooler than Hillary, and they don’t know any facts, don’t want to know. I’ve never seen anything like this. I certainly knew plenty of Reagan-bots, but at least they would listen if you interjected a fact here and there. They weren’t totally on cloud nine. This is something new.

      • Not so new in my part of the world, sadly, Ursula. Too many of the locals in my small town are just the same way about following Republicans. The way it’s died off under their alleged stewardship speaks volumes on their foolishness.

        It strikes me as being gradual buildup with these people. The cult analogy that’s been bandied about on what the GOP has become is far from unfair.

        • The thing that drives me over the edge, every single damn time I actually engage in “conversation” with one of these people is that they have zero facts. They make some vague statement, “Oh, I think he’s going to be good for jobs.” And if you say, “Why? What did he say he was going to do?” You get a blank look. They become uncomfortable. It’s like politics is like talking about jewelry or something, “oh, I really like white gold, no, I like yellow gold, it’s classic, well, then again you can do both.” No, it’s not like that. it’s a fact based realm — and of course, there’s opinion and bias, always has been always will be — but the bias is based upon something solid. But they don’t get it. To these morons, it’s the same level of conversation as if you say you like a particular movie or something — they don’t get the gravity of the situation.

          People don’t hate Donald Trump just because they got out of bed on the wrong side and stubbed their toe. People hate the man because of 1. What he has done (or not done); 2. Who he has proven himself to be. He deserves our rancor. At least I genuinely feel he deserves mine.

          • My own impression of such folk, Ursula, is that they are completely comfortable to let someone else do their thinking for them. My mom always likes to use the analogy of the preacher who tells his congregation how to vote.

        • Sounds a lot like the part of west Texas where I spent four years. The people weren’t bad then, but since then, AFAICT, they’ve bought into the GOP lies to the point where they can’t see anything else. (Their current congresscritter put out baldfaced lies in his *first* newsletter after being elected the first time. He hasn’t improved since. And they’ve had good people in office.)
          Some of it is “my granddaddy did it this way, and my daddy did it this way, and if it was good enough for them then it’s good enough for me” – and they have to be hit with a nearly-literal two-by-four to see that there’s a better way.

          • The “low information” people vote against their own interests all the time. Actually, maybe I should have characterized this guy as low information with a Nazi twist.

      • my brother is a Trumpit, When I ask him WTF? He says, ‘would you rather have that c*nt’ Clinton? Oh no I’d rather have a lying crooked scumbag giving away the keys to the kingdom, and YOUR kids are going to suffer because of it dumbass.

        • I am so grateful I don’t have this issue on a family level. I don’t have it even on an acquaintance level. Any of my acquaintances who announced themselves for Trump back in the day are no longer in my life.

          Today was a good lesson for me, though. I’m just not going to engage with these people because it is an act in futility. They are too stupid to even know why I get upset — again, as I said upthread, it’s like this is trivia and not life and death. Probably that’s the way some people felt in Nazi Germany before things got really awful.

          But it’s my blood pressure that suffers.

          I don’t know. I’ll do what I can to GOTV in 2020 and beyond that, and blogging here, I don’t know what else I can do. I can change these moron’s minds, that much is certain.

          • For whatever it’s worth coming from me, Ursula, I think you’re doing more than most. It’s a testament to your faith in human beings that you even tried. Hillary called these people “deplorables” for a reason, I think we can agree. I call them “Irredeemables” personally.

          • Well, thank you, Bareshark. I don’t know if I did any good. There was blowback from Lyft, if you can believe it. When I gave the guy one star, they asked what was wrong, so I reported his screwing up the route — and then he lashed back and said that I was “derogatory.” Long story short, I told Lyft’s “Safety Team” today that I told the guy facts that were freely available anywhere, and if he finds facts that are uncomfortable and out of tune with his worldview, to be “derogatory” and “insulting” then that is his issue.

            Facts are facts and these dumb asses go into voting booths armed with none and look at the price we all have to pay.

        • East TN myself…just as red, I promise. My mother, sister and brother-in-law got out of FL a few years ago. They had some…interesting stories to tell.

          • I don’t know how you people do it. I go nuts if I run into one asshole in California. Believe me, this is an anomaly. I never run into Trumpites in L.A. There are some here, but generally speaking hey have enough sense not to advertise the fact outside their own circle.

          • We’re in GA and just as surrounded. Unfortunately, my mom and my worthless brother voted for *rump. A couple of years ago, he physically attacked me and my husband because we’re muslim lovers and gay lovers, etc. I didn’t see my mom for a year+ because of him. She’s 80 and in poor health, so he lives with her. It’s very difficult, because I love her, but I cannot and will not agree with her.

          • I hear stories like this all the time and this is why I say it had to be like this during the Civil War. I know from old correspondence in the family (and certainly from any number of books) that brother turned on brother, there was this level of complete dissension. And for what? Some stupid illusion of splitting the south into one backward country, apart from the north. The resolve to support the ideals of a backward nation seem to have risen and flourished.

            And what gets me, is these dummies who voted for this guy have no remote clue how in bed with evil they are. They’re completely oblivious and if you tell them the truth — OMG, you’ve hurt their hothouse fee fees and now they’re wilting in the corner, because truth is a bright and hot thing, and you’re bad. That’s the mentality of this jerk yesterday. I suggested to Lyft management that maybe the young man needs to grow up.

          • The semi-rural, outer suburban town I live in 25 miles Northwest of Rochester, NY voted nearly 3 to 1 for Trump in 2016. Deep red. When I mention I’m a member of the local Town Dem committee during campaigning for local Ds, I get a lot of doors slammed in my face.

  1. That is how they are so uninformed in the Information Age…….facts are simply irrelevant.

    Did you read about the White House ordering the USS John S McCain to cover the ship’s name with tarps and hide it behind a barge when the draft dodging lardass was grandstanding with the troops on Memorial Day??? You really can’t even make this stuff up!!!

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/white-house-wanted-uss-john-mccain-out-of-sight-during-trumps-japan-trip?ref=scroll

  2. Trump has been saying “no do overs.” When it comes to the Civil War which the south LOST they’ve been going for do over after do over ever since, and their “ranks” animate the Trump base.

    So I say fuck Trump and fuck his supporters when it comes to this whole “no do overs” crap as in Congress investigating Trump included opening impeachment hearings. Mueller made it clear he took things as far as he was allowed by law and DOJ regulations to do, and since he couldn’t prosecute Trump himself he basically made a criminal referral to the only entity (Congress) that can for the moment do anything to hold the flaming orange rectum accountable. It’s not even a do over. It’s just another step in a process that’s yet to be completed. It’s the equivalent (so far) of the police doing an investigation and gathering evidence & then handing it over to the DA’s office for prosecution.

    • A lot of us are angry, I wrote this, obviously. So, a great very many of us are very very angry. And so maybe the lesson of this is, I’m going to suggest to Lyft, is that this driver has to be careful of really offending people in this political climate. I, personally, have not seen any political era so wild as this since the ’60’s. That was a plenty wild time, but it seems almost quaint by comparison with today. So that is an observation I will share with these people and they can do with it what they will. This has to be what the Civil War felt like. Don’t you think?

  3. My worst expierience was in the hospital a hispanic nurses aid supporting the government shut down cuz she wanted the wall-I wanted to tell her if Trump gets his way he would throw you out too! UGH!

    • “Schneebrunzer,” literally: people who piss in the snow, i.e. idiots.
      Or Trump telling them it’s raining while pissing down their back.

    • They don’t get that. They think somebody else is the other. They are all the others If they let a fascist like Trump get too powerful and out of control, nobody will be safe. I don’t think that’s fear mongering, I think we could be looking at some real serious social unrest. I lived through the race riots of the 60’s, I can see that happening again. It’s not inconceivable. I hope it doesn’t happen but won’t be shocked if it does. Dismayed, to say the least, but shocked, not at all.

  4. Christ, Ursula…I’m sorry as hell that guy was such a jerk…and a blind one at that. I think you got the right of it…you barely disturbed his slumber, so he’s likely still sleepwalking his way to the cliff’s edge. I admire your self-control, actually. I’d have probably been…less polite.

    As someone who still unfortunately lives in that other America your driver came from, I truly hope that you’re right about this being the last battle of the Civil War. I can’t shake this nasty feeling that it’s going to take another form by the end of next decade. Some fights just don’t ever end or at least seem to.

    • What form? I mean, we’re already living in political science fiction. I’m not saying your instinct isn’t correct. As a matter of fact, instinctively, it seems right to me. We haven’t worked through this yet. I don’t know what direction this is going or how long it’s going to last, but this cultural war paradigm is really getting ingrained in this country now. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there are a majority of merely good intentioned people and there’s just a few of us extremists here and there. Ya think? Nah, didn’t think so.

    • Also, you’re gonna love this. Lyft is doing an investigation of this incident now. Something escalated this incident immediately. I guess my text was taken very seriously. Anyhow, I won’t bore you with details, but they’re being very civilized and nice, and I am too, and that seems to be the best way to resolve conflicts. If you both go high. So, I like the approach they’re taking. They’re explaining why they have to do it and assuring you they’re not saying you’re guilty of anything, in essence. So, that level of neutrality is certainly acceptable to me. I told them that I stand by what I said, but I also saw no reason to make a federal case out of it. My point is made. I think it’s interesting that this escalated. That makes a statement in and of itself. They probablyhave a Trump Control Unit, and when one of these encounters happens, it goes to an elite unit — I am only half joking. I think it is possible that this might happen a lot. Or, maybe it’s rare and they think it’s dangerous. I freely admit it was not a smooth ride, for either party.

      • Regarding your first post, what made me say what I did about the form is some things I’ve gotten from the so-called incel crowd in recent months. You may recall how the latter decided to expand the culture war nonsense by attacking popular media like the Marvel Cinematic Universe for being “SJW” (Social Justice Warrior). Scratch away the verbiage and it’s fueled by the same racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia of their elders. It’s just using more current language than fossils like Trump or McConnell. They lack the numbers but I expect they’ll carry on the ugly fight we’re engaged in.

        As to your second post, good on Lyft! I’ve been getting the impression that tolerance for that sort of Trumpist nonsense has been nonexistent since at least Charlottesville or shortly thereafter. They want to stay in business after Trump is gone, after all. I also think that talking politics of any kind might be a violation of company policy.

        • Good grief, I drove people to the polls during the midterms, all we had was their name, where to pick them up, and we figured out the closest poll to them. WE weren’t even allowed to talk politics, either. Some of them could have been Republican, AFAIK. (i doubt it since the County Dem Party called in for them, though).

          • The first election I remember was 1960. Long story short, my mother needed a ride to the polls and a car pulled up covered in Nixon stickers. My mother was intimidated, but kept her mouth shut and hey, they can’t go with you into the voting booth. So, yes, in saner times, the democratic system worked. With this rage-aholic in the White House, spending all his time cursing his political enemies, real or imagined, I don’t know how weird things are going to get.

        • If anybody at that company has a brain cell functioning, somebody will have told this guy, don’t get into political discussions. He’s not smart enough to have figured it out on his own, maybe now he gets it. And don’t get me wrong — if he had been armed with facts of any kind, I’ve have played along. I had a guy on Twitter who was convinced Trump was the second coming of Ronald Reagan. That was entertaining for eight or ten tweets. Then I just gave up, because the guy couldn’t stay focused on facts and just praised his idol, Trump, the New Reagan. The real Reagan is spinning in his grave, I’m sure. But I’ll listen to what somebody has to say. The problem is, when I start telling them what’s really going on, and a mountain of facts, they think they’re being attacked. They go into martyr mode (at least the evangelicals do, that’s their kneejerk response, that you are Satan and persecuting them. God, how they love it.)

  5. I still can’t believe that people think trump is charismatic. I thought he was a phony ass from the get go. It isn’t hard to see.

    • I saw him for exactly who and what he was, right out of the gate. That’s why I went ballistics and started reading up on all these thugs and blogging, and you know the rest.

  6. Wow, you tell ’em Ursualafaw! And I must say, you’re a braver woman than I would ever be 😉 in that situation.

    • Thank you, Jan. I’ll tell you, the honesty came at a price. My blood pressure was way elevated when I got to the doctor, 158/191. It’s never that high, normally. These people wear me out. They just don’t want to hear any facts that conflict with what they say and they have no facts of their own — or bullshit ones. I remember an evangelical telling me that Trump was “born again,” her criteria for everything. It meant that he was a member of her cult now and therefore good.

      If you don’t now the truth on that, an evangelical RWNJ named David Barton (in Texas) told James Dobson (one of the televangelists that Mike Pence loves) to make Trump “acceptable” because their boy Ted Cruz wasn’t going to get the nomination. So Dobson held a press conference in Trump Tower and announced that Trump was a “baby Christian.” And Trinity Broadcasting and The Christian Broadcasting Network (Pat Robertson, all the bullshit you’d expect) publicized the hell out of it. So, the first time this evangelical wingnut told me about Trump’s finding Jesus, I said, “I can’t hear this. I have to ask you to stop.” She informed me I was “intolerant” and “cross-minded.” A few months later the same dummy was pushing Trump at me again and I lost it and went into screaming meltdown — twice, with this person. She was telling me all about Ben Carson and God the second time. Don’t even get me started on Ben Carson.

      Point being — the Trumpites get their vague ass ideas from vague ass news sources, if not outright propaganda, like Fox and when you tell them what the real world says, not even American outlets, places like Toronto Star, the Guardian, Paris-Match, you name it — they can’t grasp it. They can’t wrap their minds around a larger reality.

      Trump is actually a balm and a comfort for the abysmally stupid. I think that’s the reason we are where we are. The percentage of imbecilic Americans has apparently gone up — concurrent with GOP corruption, in putting a guy like Trump on the ticket to begin with.

  7. How is it possible that anyone can be stupid enough to praise tRump’s “success” in business? My neighborhood newspaper delivery guy has more professionalism and higher ethical standards than the Cheater-in-Chief. And why in the world do Americans think that hoarding and stealing money is a sign of “success”?! It is a sign of mental illness – an addiction that is worse than heroin or alcohol in terms of how many lives are destroyed by capitalist greed and selfishness.

    • Not to be too snarky but I think your local drug dealer has the edge on Trump in professionalism and ethical standards.

      • I concur. The drug dealers I ever met were basically decent chaps — a hell of a lot more decent than Trump, I’ll tell you that.

    • The ones who like him, idolize him, only know vague superficial things about him and they’ve bought into it. If you tell them actual facts, then you’re being abusive. Believe me, this was not my first time at the rodeo.

  8. Attack girl, Ursala! I admire the way you handled yourself! Proud to be one of your sponsors (small but sincere support).

    • Meg, there is no such thing as “small support” on this site! Everybody who comes here to read, comment, be a patron, is a welcome and appreciated individual — far more than you know, believe me. The site is growing and it’s you guys doing it. I’m so grateful, I can’t tell you.

      I had second thoughts yesterday after this tiff: part of me was glad that I gave this guy a piece of my mind, that he will not forget, because management at Lyft got involved — yet another part of me was almost physically sick. My blood pressure was up and adrenaline surging like that is not the greatest thing to do to yourself. But I’ll probably do it again.

  9. It’s a no win situation. They’re mentally deficient and wear blinders. They’re minds are stalled and incapable of seeing and understanding.

    • Well, then maybe we’re f**ked. Because if morons are going into voting booths and pushing buttons cluelessly, and I mean cluelessly, then maybe this is who we are and the Great American Experiment is over. I don’t want to think that way. I’m hoping that if we get out the vote that there are a lot of sane people, who have just sat out elections for whatever reason, and they’ll vote Trump out. Such is my prayer, in any event.

  10. Hey there, Ursula,
    You know, they make little pills to take for your heart and, they even have these little oxygen generators now that are like a small purse …

    You could assemble your own trumasshole survival kit … a bottle of water to take your pills, the oxygen generator, a blood pressure tester for your wrist, a small taser unit, the world’s loudest whistle, and 16oz boxing gloves so you don’t hurt your knuckles …. /s

    But he’s very lucky you did not have a couple fresh eggs in your stuff … 🙂

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