God I love this job! There are days when I’d gleefully do this sh*t for free. Not only because the articles basically write themselves, allowing me to rest my fevered brain, but the personalities involved are so bone stupid that they let me fly my sarcasm flag at full mast.

And I bet if you asked her, D.C. federal district court judge Tanya Chutkan would tell you the same thing. Late last week two things happened that had to put a spring in her step. First, Trump’s mongoloid lawyer demanded that Chutkan recuse herself for the unpardonable sin of telling defendants she was sentencing that complained about Traitor Tot being the bad guy, that unfortunately for them, Trump was not in front of her, they were, he was still a free man. And then Special Counsel Jack Smith had her doing her happy dance by asking for a minimalist gag order to keep His Lowness from threatening anybody connected with the case not wearing a MAGA hat.

Judge Chutkan is not going to recuse herself from this case. First of all, she has no valid reason to do so, and second, she’s having entirely too much fun having a semi-functional imbecile like Trump in her court. Every time he’s around, she’s like me torturing Samwise and Chicago with a laser pointer. Put a serious face on, say some serious legal sh*t, sit back, and wait for El Pendejo Presidente to blow a gasket.

Jack Smith is going to get his gag order. In fact, I’m personally surprised that she hasn’t done that already. At his arraignment the presiding magistrate basically gave a verbal gag order, advising all sides on what they couldn’t talk about outside of the courtroom. But in my experience, in pretty much any case with any kind of media attention, in county and state as well as federal, it’s more of less standard practice for the presiding judge to formalize the gag order. You don’t discuss any of the elements of this case outside of the courtroom. 

But most rivals don’t have an over bloated windbag running for President, who couldn’t shut his mouth if they poured cement into it. And Trump already knows it’s coming. That’s why he’s already screeching like a banshee on Bullsh*t Social, as well in far right media interviews about how the Corrupt Biden DOJ and the rigged judicial system are out to deprive him of his 1st Amendment rights!!! 

And as Judge Chutkan will gleefully remind him the next time he’s in her court, any criminal defendant has all sorts of restrictions on their personal freedoms, including a stint in lock up if they f*ck up. Welcome to the justice system.

Trump is playing this stupid game simply because he’s fueled by a childish certainty that no matter what he does, a sitting judge is not going to lock up the leading contender for the GOP presidential nomination. This is, of course, complete bullsh*t. As I’ve written before, she can stick his fat ass at Camp Pendleton, or Parris Island, or Joint Base Andrews to cool his heels while he considers his various life choices. But The Cheeto Prophet is missing one major point, because he’s an imbecile.

She. Doesn’t. Have. To. Lock. Him. Up. At the preliminary hearing, Judge Chutkan set the trial date for March 4th, 2024, and every ruling she has made indicates that she firmly intends to have jury selection start on that date. And when she gave him her verbal instructions on his speech restrictions she tole him, Nothing is going to interfere with the integrity of this court process. If you continue to violate my orders, I will have no choice bot to move the trial date forward.

Of course, Trump being Trump, he doesn’t believe a word she ways. She’s just some dame in a black floor length duster. Besides, nobody in authority ever actually does what they threaten to do to him. And so he’ll persist.

Once the gag order is officially issued, my guess is that it will take El Pendejo Presidente less than 24 hours to directly violate the order in a ranting Trumper Tantrum. Judge Chutkan will drag his fat, cholesterol soaked ass back into court, dress him down, and fine him $50-100,000 for direct contempt of court. And then she’ll advise him that he’s hanging on by his last thread.

At which point Il Douche will go galls-to-the-wall. Screw Bullsh*t Social, Trump will hold a campaign rally in a deep red friendly venue, where he’ll rail against the DOJ, the Special Counsel, the corrupt judge, and threated dire consequences if they don’t cut this sh*t out! There! How’d THAT feel!

Which earns The Pampers President another trip to court. At which time Judge Chutkan tells him something like, Defendant Trump, you have been repeatedly warned by this court that I will not allow the integrity of the process to be undermined. And yet you persist. I’m hoping that you didn’t have any holiday plans with Melania, since we’re going to start jury selection on Valentines Day, February 14th, as long as Mr. Smith can be ready to proceed to trial.

In Georgia Trump already has his legal bagels working overtime on frivolous motions to try to delay the start of the trial. But it is becoming very clear that Judge McAfee, with his weekly status hearings, as well as the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals moving with lightning speed through the appeals, are both hell bent to set a realistic trial date, and move mountains to get it done on time.

Look for Judge Chutkan to do the same. Normally the trial process is simple. The defendant is arraigned. At the preliminary hearing the presiding judge sets a trial date, opens the discovery period, and sets apre-trial motion date to deal with any last minute motions before jury selection starts.

With a nonstop, obstructive pain in the ass like Trump, with endless motions to file, watch for Chutkan to do the same thing. Instead of just going from the preliminary hearing to the pre-trial hearing, look for her to aggressively set a series of status hearings where she will deal aggressively with Trump’s nonsensical motions, and like Judge McAfee in Atlanta, either rule from the bench on the spot, or issue his ruling within 48 hours.

Because the Low Class Lothario is used to buying his woman off, The Trumpinator has never learned that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If Judge Chutkan wants this trial to start on March 4th, then it will start on March 4th. And if he continues to piss her off, then the trial will start on February 14th, or whatever other earlier date she decide on. How often do I have to say it? Life among the stupid is so satisfying.

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  1. The delusional wannabee gangster president gets the piss taken out of him by various guests on the Graham Norton Show. Just another chapter in helping one understand the in’s and out’s of why he so successfully shoots himself in the foot. Again, again, and again. Rinse. Repeat.
    Part 1 See:

    Part 2 See:


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