George Santos. As Dumb As A Box Of Rocks To The End

Arrivederci George. Alas poor Santos, we knew you too well. The final act of this drunken Shakespeare play was as predictable as it was pathetic. Santos already knew what was up. When he walked into the well of the House to cast his vote, he already had his winter coat on. After he cast his last vote, he handed House Speaker MAGA Mike his card, shook hands, and watched the tote board. When the total topped 300, he turned and walked out alone. My favorite part was when he left the Capitol building, and was of course immediately surrounded by reporters. Ignoring their questions he groused, I don’t have to talk to you anymore, I’m not in congress, and pouted his way to his waiting ride of shame.

But here’s the thing. Santos isn’t just a moron, he’s a f*cking moron. A lifelong con man, but without the charisma and outsized media presence, Santos took one look at Trump and saw his gravy train. As long as you were as crazy and outlandish as Trump, people would fall for your bullsh*t. He got his ass handed to him in the 2020 congressional race, but basically rewrote his entire life, and cruised in 2022 in a gerrymandered district. Santo was in fat city.

How many times do I have to say this. nobody is Trump but Trump! Nobody has the alleged wealth, the bravado, and the media spotlight to carry it off. And if you look at where Traitor Tot is right now, George santos may well turn out to be a pale rider for what his Cheeto Prophet may be about to go through.

George Santos was sworn in to congress after the 16 round debacle of House Squeaker Cave-In McCarthy being sworn in. But by the time he plunked his tubby ass into his seat, Santos was already becoming notorious. Simply because there was no actual George santos. Santos turned himself into a blank canvas on which he carelessly painted an  entirely new, fact free George Santos. The problem is that Santos was bone stupid, since his reconstructed persona was so fragile that any reporter with Google and a Lexus-Nexus account could poke Texas size holes in.

And they did. And Santos did exactly what the Cheeto Jesus taught him to do. Bullsh*t. He blamed all of his transparent lies on things like media misrepresentation, being misquoted or misunderstood, and the radical left agenda. But it didn’t work because Santos was too damn stupid. Who the hell claims that his mother died in the World Trade Center attack? Who the hell sets up a GoFundMe page to steal some $3000 from a disabled navy war hero trying to save his cancer stricken support dog.

Bonnie and Clyde and Ma Barkier and John Dillinger became folk heroes by sticking it to the man. George santos became infamous for sticking it to the little man. The House Ethics Committee was on his ass like a pair of fruit-of-the-looms by April. Trump  could find a way to carry off the Robin Hood persona. Santos was more like the pervert in the raincoat standing around the schoolyard. The DOJ hit him with a slew of charges, then a couple of months later came out with a superseding indictment with more charges. santos had finally made the big time, just as he had always dreamed of.

And here’s where bone stupid turned itself into self destructively stupid. Prosecutors of all stripes have a standard mantra, The first one through the door gets the best deal. The first rat who comes in ready to flip over on everybody else and make the prosecutors job easier gets the best plea deal. It saves them time and effort.

Just one small problem here. There were no little fish here. Santos was the only one accused of crimes for the simple reason that he was the only one who was engaged in criminal activity.

But that doesn’t mean that Santos was totally boned. After all, he was still a sitting congressman. By far and away the most intelligent and self protective move for Santos to make would be to contact the federal prosecutors, go to confession, and make a deal. Because if he did that, he could still trade his position as a sitting congressman. He could show contrition, offer to resign his seat in congress in return for minimizing his sentence, and forego the possibility of any future superseding indictments.

Instead Santos chose to go the hard ass route, deny and derail everything, and keep spouting lame MAGA bullsh*t. And today the GOP House cut their losses and made Santos only the 7th sitting congressman to be expelled. And in so doing, they took away Santos’s last remaining bargaining chip with the DOJ.

Let’s be frank here. Santos is going down. Hard. Simply because Santos has been so stupid and arrogant that the DOJ is going to enjoy body slamming him to make an example to anybody else who wants to play hardball. Santos may still be able to get a deal, just by saving the DOJ for saving them the trouble of taking him to trial, but nowhere near the deal he could have gotten if he had traded his congressional seat for a reduction in sentence. Dumbass.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.