If you are one of the forty million unemployed, take heart. Daddy doesn’t have time to deal with such tackiness as the largest unemployment figures since the Great Depression, he’s too busy watching TV and running for reelection. But Princess Ivanka, the poster child of privilege, has figured out the answer to your problem — just go Find Something New. Seriously. This is a real thing that Ivanka just came up with. One line of work is like another, and if you lost your job at the Tastee Freeze, well, there are openings in aerospace engineering, so WTH is wrong with you, just go get that job.
Ivanka is your personal cheerleader in this endeavor and she has put together the following “tools” to assist you. Here’s the website that will save you. And take a look at the meaningless platitudes in this PSA. Zero information, but you do get the impression that if you’re unemployed it’s your fault, don’t you? Remember, the GOP is the party of personal responsibility — except when they drive the economy over a cliff, again. Then it’s your fault and you fix it. And don’t bother any Republican lawmakers right now. They’re all too busy running for reelection, and their stock portfolios took a hit, and have a little class, will you, and just take care of yourself.
Now the beauty of this, is that Ivanka is directing you philosophically to self-improvement, when the fact of the matter is, it’s not a philosophical question and it’s not about self-improvement. The issue, to anybody but the completely oblivious, is that a lot of jobs were simply permanently wiped out in March and April when COVID-19 struck, and there are a great many more people needing a job than there are jobs available right now. Therefore, the logical and sane solution would be a program to create jobs, perhaps along the lines of the WPA, an employment and infrastructure program, which over an eight year period starting in 1935 put over eight million Americans back to work during the Great Depression.
In this administration the word “infrastructure” is a running joke and while Trump blatantly lies about Ivanka creating “15 million jobs” she hasn’t created a one. And now she’s doing the equivalent of telling you to look in the phone book to see what businesses exist in your area and just go “find something new.” Those are her words to you, verbatim.
I think it’s a swell idea, personally. I think that if you were flipping pancakes a few months ago, you could now enter the world of high fashion design, maybe even design a few knock offs for Ivanka, what do you say? And if you were changing oil on cars, and got laid off from that, well, there’s always a shortage of brain surgeons. Maybe you could write a letter to Ben Carson and he could advise you.
Ivanka and the Republicans want you to know, that it’s up to you, and if you’re starving, don’t blame Donald Trump’s egregious mishandling of coronavirus and don’t blame the complicit GOP-led senate for keeping him in power so it could happen. No, you need to get off your a$$ and Find Something New! Hey, if Ivanka can do it, so can you. She’s changed careers many times, from teenage model to sweatshop owner to author of books that somebody else wrote, and now she’s a big shot in the White House. (Pssst: the common denominator here is that all of this was done working for her father, but don’t let on, okay?) So if she can put on a Chanel suit and get in the beemer and drive somewhere well so the hell can you, right? I mean, if you have to, just go back to school and all you have to do for that is write a check. Don’t you people know anything? Does Ivanka have to explain it all? Don’t ask Ivanka any more today, she’s late for a pedicure and a massage. You people have to step up to the plate and solve your own damn problems.
perfecto!
Isn’t this the biggest effing joke you have ever heard in your entire life? United Airlines just laid off 95,000 workers and they’re all supposed to go “find something new?” The stupidity burns.
I totally approve this message, but FWIW, Ms.Faw, further channeling of the Princess of Oblivious-land may be harmful for your long-term mental health. You’ll know you’re in trouble when all that’s in the fridge for dinner is…cake.
Hi Holly, good to see you! I predict that this new “program” of Ivanka’s is going to become high comedy in pundit land. This is hilarious, on one level and infuriating on another. She’s too dumb to keep her mouth shut. She’s trying to help Daddy and all she’s doing is making this entire farce in Washington more ridiculous still — if that’s possible. What Jared and Ivanka don’t get, is they depict themselves as High Achievers in business and the bottom line is that they’ve never suffered consequences for screwing up. They just manipulate their way in and out of things in the manner of the uber rich. And they don’t get that at all, anymore than a fish realizes it’s surrounded by water, until the moment when it’s removed from that element.
What was it Kelly called it, “an empty barrel”? yes, she sure is.
Yes, and “all hat, no cattle” is another one that applies here.
Holy crap. It gets worse. If you go to the website, they just list random jobs such as, I kid you not, aerospace engineer, with this helpful info:
“Which path can you take?
Many employers prefer to hire aerospace engineering and operations technicians who have earned an associate’s degree in engineering technology or who have completed vocational-technical programs. Some aerospace engineering and operations technicians must have security clearances to work on projects related to national defense.”
11/4/2020 and 1/20/21 cannot come soon enough.
Oh, I know. This is like Ivanka telling you to go online and just do a search, “hot jobs in 2020” or some such. The website and the PSA offer jack nothing in the way of actual help. This really is her Marie Antoinette moment, hands down.
I’m still waiting for her to be indicted for the money laundering she supervised in their property in panama. When the government raided their property, documents were being put through the shredder. She is & has been integral to daddy’s transnational criminal enterprise.
Oh, God, the documents in the shredder I hadn’t heard. Jesus, they are a mafia crime family. Money is a wonderful thing, but do you have to steal it? I guess they can’t earn it honestly.
Remember daddy Fred had the same attorney as the gambino crime family. Think he got any deals on concrete & trash in NYC? Every branch on this family tree appears rotten, except for the ones excommunicated like his neice.
I spent some time rooting around the website. It is actually a nice compendium of resources.
I agree that the entry of aerospace engineer needs some work. They are using the term similarly to sanitation engineer, which can refer to a real engineer. However, using aerospace engineer to refer to the mechanics has not caught on as a euphemism the way sanitation engineer has for garbage men.
Ursula, I’m completely willing to believe that Ivanka created 15 million jobs.
Just not in the United States.
Her sweatshop wasn’t that big. Although, if she could have had that many people at sub-standard wages, she would have.
For someone who has never worked a day in her life, Ivomit seems to have all of the answers.
P.S. She’s going to one hell of a hard time in prison.
That may be summer camp compared to what the henchman would do to her if Frump crosses Putin & his merry band of mobsters. Maybe that’s what Frump fears most.
To be fair, she didn’t create the content on the website. Other people had those answers.
The blonde Sarah Palin?
Wow, I hadn’t made that comparison.
Nepotism Barbie.
I despise her.
And she’ll never understand that. I’m sure Marie Antoinette didn’t either. And comically, today is Bastille Day. Do you love it?
To be fair, you are putting an awful lot of words in her mouth that she didn’t say or imply. This is probably her attempt at encouragement. I am dealing with someone right now who is doing the same to me over at the Federalist.
To your larger point, a lot of the lost jobs are not coming back, either because businesses adapt and find ways to get the work done with fewer employees or because businesses choose automation sooner rather than later. Furthermore, we are learning that people who have recovered from the virus are experiencing long-term after-effects. Who knows how many people will eventually end of on disability as a consequence. And think of the vastly larger numbers of people with a pre-existing condition as a result of recovering from this virus.
Due to technological advances, we were already heading to a near future where there are far more people than jobs necessary for a smooth running of society. Yang’s UBI is looking better and better. There is also the argument that the benefits of a growing GDB should accrue to all citizens,not just a few,since all citizens contribute one way or another, either as a producer or a consumer or both. For example, Bezos could not get rich without all those low-paying jobs at fulfillment centers, and the purchases of customers.
If it wasn’t for daddy, she still be trying to sell her junk. Black hearted idiot.
Last time the ultra rich told the peasants (us), to eat cake during a crisis, their heads ended up in a basket.
That’s what I get out of the shutdown. I got it long time ago on this. What the hell you going to do. Trump thinks you should just go back to your old job and get it going. But it’s a changed world. What was important in January might just be WTF are you handing this to me for. Trump is a moron first and foremost. Joe sees a clean slate where we can take these pand mostly with limited training put them in clean energy and technology. But then again Joe isn’t trying to hide that he’s been laundering money for years and he just barely escaped having that proven. Course funny thing here. And it’s something trump didn’t figure on. Congress can still track him after the election if god is willing and we toss his ass out of the White House. Don’t have to be actually sitting president to get impeached. And the felonies will follow. Like Nancy said. I don’t want him impeached, I want to see him in jail.