An “Embarrassment of Riches”


Ah, what a time to be alive, eh? If you’re a Democrat, the old refrain is as comfortable as the chorus of “Me and my Bobby McGee.” Democrats suck in the midterms due to a depressed voter turnout caused by a lack of voter enthusiasm when there’s not a presidential candidate at the top of the ticket. Apparently, controlling the House and Senate, and their own state legislatures just aren’t as exciting as the newest products on the Home Shopping Network. And in 2016, we took it to another level, when voter apathy for the first woman president, combined with a false sense of security that it was in the bag, led us to the reign of Emperor Numbus Nuttus.

There have even been rumblings in the rumpus room that is political punditry that the Democrats may have trouble in 2020 in finding a candidate that can ignite the base to match the passion of Trump’s slobbering horde of Trombies. To me, this is just another reminder that there are plenty of people out there who will try to stir up controversy, even where none exists, in their perpetual quest to make themselves sound all important and knowledgeable and stuff.

Polling continues to show that the number one criteria for a Democratic candidate among Democratic primary voters is someone who can kick Trump’s pasty ass out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, so he can begin starring in his upcoming reality show, “Orange is the new Gilt.” Voters even say that they’ll vote for a candidate with whom they disagree on fundamental issues, as long as it means that the SS Trumptanic finally gets to tour Davey Jones Locker. Democratic candidates are now uniformly bashing His Lowness instead of each other, and reporting from the Iowa State Fair seems to indicate that this is popcorn for the souls of Iowa voters.

But even setting that aside, going into 2020, the Democrats are indeed suffering from the embarrassment of riches that I spoke of in the title. Trump in 2020 is like a Las Vegas buffet, there’s something for everybody in the Democratic base to turn their noses up at. If the Democrats in 2020 can’t motivate every last voter to come out and punch a hole, then we may just as well turn the party into a gigantic sewing circle, and start trying to come up with a new flag for The United Banana Republic.

The racism issue speaks for itself. The Democrats did a fine job of finally coming right out and calling Trump a racist, and some even referring to him as a white supremacist. This clearly stung Trump, and he even admitted in a moment of candor that it “wasn’t helpful.” They don’t have to constantly refer to Trump as a racist, just call out and denounce the sure-to-follow racist statements Trump will make about urban cities and Latino immigrants. African Americans know that “shithole cities” are a short step from “shithole countries,” and Latinos now know that Trump has put a target on their backs. Even Puerto Ricans and Cubans in Florida, who may not normally align tightly with Mexicans and Central Americans, should be smart enough to know that the average Trump maniac doesn’t “fine tune” when it comes to the shade of brown. Hell, even Hawaiians may want to stay at home until this blows over.

Women have every bit as much reason to be outraged right now as they did on January 21, 2017. Trump’s sexism is just as front and center as it always was. His disdain for women of color, such as Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Ilhan Omar, and his piggish dismissal of strong women like Elizabeth Warren and Maxine Waters is a cold slap in the face. And the GOP’s escalating war on women’s reproductive health rights, now that they feel they have a friendly Supreme Court with a potential swing vote like “Brewski” Brett Kavanaugh, and don’t even get them started on him(!), is an existential threat to their own health and safety.

Gun control advocates are out in the streets, and well they should be. Trump’s knuckle headed response to the mass shooting tragedies in Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton was an affront to basic human decency. And Trump is the ultimate political idiot. He proudly stated that he told “Pepe” LaPierre of the NRA in a phone call that he supports enhanced background checks. If there’s one thing that NO Republican President ever wants to do, it’s admit that he spoke to the head of the NRA, for any reason, it makes it appear as if he’s getting his marching orders from the merchants of death. And the shootings in Gilroy and El Paso were especially chilling, since GOP suburban soccer moms in places like Iowa, Ohio, Kansas, and other places see dead children, and they take their kids to Walmart and local festivals too.

Even environmentalists are pushing for “open carry laws” for pitchforks and torches. One would have thought that by now, Trump and the GOP’s refusal to acknowledge science would have “denial fatigue” setting in. But The $1 Store Caligula is like an ’80’s FM radio station, the hits just keep on coming! Now he wants to approve gold mining in the Pacific northwest that will permanently kill the salmon ecosystem, and lay the entire salmon fishing industry to waste. And of course, who needs polar bears when there’s OIL in them thar hills! of the Alaskan national refuge. And vacationers will be happy to know that when they visit the Moab National Park, they’ll soon be able to Stay at The Happy Hour Inn near the new Moab Manor Estates, with a Denny’s conveniently located across the street.

I’m fond of saying that Trump is “the gift that keeps on giving,” but this is just freakin’ ridiculous! If one didn’t know better, one would think that Trump is purposely trying to throw the election, so he can settle down to a life of comfort at the Dannemora Suites, and eat ‘protein loaf” three times a day. In this current political environment, if the Democrats can’t find somebody with a pulse who looks presentable onstage in a suit or skirt suit, and rally the troops behind them next November, then we had no business being in this game in the first friggin’ place.

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  1. ” If there’s one thing that NO Republican President ever wants to do, it’s admit that he spoke to the head of the NRA, for any reason, it makes it appear as if he’s getting his marching orders from the merchants of death.”

    The ‘subtlety’ of this would never have occurred to him.

    This gives me great hope.


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