From the first time I heard about this Musk acolyte “Big Balls” I wondered whether he was some mousy nerd-looking guy or someone you’d think twice about messing with. Mostly I was disgusted by the nickname and until recently never saw any pictures of him. Well, he and his girlfriend were the targets of an attempted carjacking and pictures are out there now.
Let me say upfront carjacking is a serious crime, and beating up (or worse) someone while doing it merits years in jail. The question in the case of the attempted carjacking of Ed Coristine aka Musk’s DOGE punk who calls himself “Big Balls” is should two fifteen year old carjackers be tried as juveniles (which they are) or as adults. In the meantime however GOPers from Trump on down are trying to paint a picture of Coristine as some “hero” who ‘rushed to danger.’ Bullshit. The truth is he seemed like an easy target who couldn’t put up a fight. But he did NOT see some proverbial damsel in distress and rush to defend her.
You can read in Newsweek how he and his girlfriend were at the car when a group of carjackers tried (and failed) to take it. I recall initial reporting and a vibe from the White House (and conservatives) about Not-So-Big Balls rushing to help a woman being carjacked. My god what a HERO they seemed to be saying. Even now they are trying to paint that narrative, especially with Trump itching to take over control of D.C.
What actually happened appears to be a group of teens who were clearly not upstanding folks saw a smallish, unassuming guy and his girlfriend about to get in a very, very nice car. Easy prey. Take a look at the title pic. This is NOT a guy who would appear to a multiple would-be carjackers to be a target capable of giving them a fight. Instead he seemed like someone who if he didn’t just hand over the keys would be easily overwhelmed. To be blunt, they figured if he didn’t just hand the car over they could kick his ass.
If you saw the pictures of him bloodied and shirtless afterwards they were right. Alas, cops were close by and they ran off but two of them were caught fleeing. But again, this was NOT a case of “Big Balls” deciding to heroically “clang” them as in being out, seeing a woman in trouble and running to her aid:
The group of teenagers approached the couple’s car and made a comment about taking the vehicle, the Metropolitan Police Department said.
Coristine pushed the woman into the vehicle for safety and turned to confront the group. Several of the teenagers then attacked him until officers patrolling nearby intervened, police said.
As officers moved toward the group, the teenagers fled on foot. Two 15-year-olds from Maryland were later arrested on charges of unarmed carjacking.
To his credit Corastine pushed his girlfriend into the car instead of diving in himself. My point is that “Big Balls” and his girlfriend were together as the wannabe carjackers approached. He wasn’t some ‘action hero.’ Just a target along with his girlfriend. I see pictures of him and while I’m old, fat and broken down now when I was his age I rather doubt this group would have chosen to come after me if I was with a date and getting into a nice car. I’m 6’4″ and into my thirties looked like the college ballplayer and later Marine infantryman I was. A gang of teens like this would likely say pass and wait for an easier target. Like a smallish, almost frail dude who was barely older than them and not at all tough looking despite his self-given nickname.
Again, I think those who tried to carjack him should be convicted and punished. And the beatdown should add to their sentence. However it’s hard for me to summon sympathy for this asshat. He’s a f**king punk who gets away with doing far worse to far more many people because he’s a “tech bro” with connections. He thought he was invincible, perhaps even that he was soooooo famous with his moniker no one would mess with him. He was wrong. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time and NOT being physically imposing (almost frail looking in fact) with a funky ‘rich boy’ hairdo.
I’m glad he wasn’t seriously injured and that his girlfriend seems to have not been attacked. Will realizing his self-given preposterous nickname and entitled attitude isn’t a shield against some common criminals tuning him up make him change. It COULD be a teaching moment for him. However with conservatives trying to lionize him I fear if anything he will emerge from all this an even more despicable human being that he already was.
Still, I suspect he’s going to have if not PTSD many a night where he wakes up in a cold sweat. And feeling humiliated. His “Big Balls” weren’t up to the moment he found himself in. They didn’t loudly “CLANG” and frankly didn’t even offer an audible click. When conservatives try to tell you what a hero this punk is remind them of that. He (and his girlfriend) got targeted together in an attempted carjacking because he LOOKED like the frail punk he actually is. No one should get attacked and beaten like happened here but this young man was no superhero and the citizens of D.C. should be made to pay via Trump taking over their city to make this punk feel better about himself.
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I find it interesting that, according to the right-wing narrative (well, ONE of the narratives out there), one of the guy’s friends just happened to be there so he could take the picture of him all bloodied and beaten.
It’s also kind of interesting that I haven’t heard or read of any kind of corroboration coming from the mystery girl (girlfriend or “damsel in distress” being carjacked, per one of the narratives).
I’m no gullible conspiracy theorist BUT this sure smells a lot like a setup to establish Trump’s contention that DC’s in the grip of violent gangs and hence must be protected from itself. And to establish a brand new rightwingding hero now that Hulk Hogan’s gone.