With Their Roe Decision SCOTUS Poisoned Their Own Well On The 14th Amendment

Once this gets to the Supreme Court, it’s going to be as entertaining as hell watching this blatantly ideological court do their impression of Mr. Flexo The Rubber Man at the circus.

The two that are going to be the most fun to watch are the same two that are the easiest to laugh about and scorn, Thomas and Alito. This is because of their never ending habit of wrapping themselves in the tattered cloak of constitutional originalism. 

You want a gun? Go right ahead. F*ck the fact that in 1776 the only projectile weapons were single shot muskets and pistols. You want an assault rifle that fires 40 rounds in 10 seconds? Knock your socks off. The constitution just says bear arms, not what kind.

The same thing goes for equality. The last time I looked, the Declaration of Independence had this kicky little line about all men being created equal. But according to troglodytes like Thomas and Alito, that doesn’t include blacks, Hispanics, indigenous tribes, or women. After all, the constitution was written by ofay white dudes with money and slaves. The last time Thomas and Alito thumbed through their almost untouched constitutions, they didn’t see anything about civil rights, affirmative action or the ERA.

But when these things don’t go their way, or they don’t like the way a previous Supreme Court decision went, they kept stoppers. The previous court was filled with idiots and made a bad ruling. 

For 49 years a previous Supreme Court had ruled that abortion was a fundamental right, and as a result, Roe v Wade was the law of the land. After 49 years, how do you overturn a ruling that now has a 69% popularity polling without being tarred-and-feathered and ridden out of Dizzy City on a rail?

Simple. You don’t. When the SCOTUS came out with the Dobbs decision, they bent over backwards to assure everyone that they were not banning abortion. Their ruling was that the previous court had overreached, that abortion was not a constitutional right, and was in fact a violation of sovereignty of states rights. They didn’t ban abortion, they simply turned it back over to the individual states to do their own dirty work.

And while that fatally ideologically flawed decision gave the refried Jesus wheezers a victory they had been waiting a half a century for, in 20-20 hindsight it also laid the conservative justices wide open to trying to twist themselves into pretzels over a true states rights case that’s about to drop into their laps like a rabid honey badger.

Let’s recap. Back un September a group of Colorado voters and activists filed a lawsuit in state court questioning Trump’s eligibility to be on the 2024 ballot in Colorado due to his violation of the 14th Amendment of the United States constitution.

Last month, following a fairly long civil trial, a Colorado district court judge ruled that while Traitor Tot did both incite as well as participate in an insurrection, he was still eligible to appear on the ballot, due to the judge’s extremely narrow view of what constituted an officer of the government.

Oddly enough, both sides appealed the ruling. The plaintiffs felt that if Trump incited and participated in an insurrection, the President was the ultimate government officer. And El Pendejo Presidente appealed to try to overturn the decision that he was an insurrectionist.

A couple of hours ago the Colorado Supreme Court issued their decision, and Trump must be throwing dishes against the Mar-A-Lago wall. The Supreme Court agreed with the district judge that Trump had incited and contributed to an insurrection. But they also determined that His Lowness was a federal officer, and as such was unqualified to hold the position of President, or to appear on a Colorado ballot. Trump was also barred from the GOP’s primary ballot as well. The justices went to great pains to make clear that this decision applied to Colorado ballots.

This is the part that is going to make the constitutional originalists on the SCOTUS look like a couple of Hebrides apes. In their highly prejudicial Dobbs decision, the Supreme Court made it clear that abortion was a decision to be made by the states, despite a previous SCOTUS having determined otherwise.

How now, brown cow? In this case we have a case brought by Colorado residents, adjudicating eligibility on the Colorado state ballot, and first the district court, and then the Colorado Supreme court, followed the US Constitution, to which they also swore an oath, that Trump was ineligible to serve, or even be eligible to run. And they put the cherry on top of the sundae by explicitly stating that this ruling applied only in Colorado. How much more states rights can you get?

Believe it or not, this is not untested or uncharted territory. A year or so ago it came out that a state office holder in New Mexico had not only gone to the January 6th speech at the Ellipse, he went to the Capitol and participated there. The New Mexico state Supreme Court, using the US Constitution, as well as a similar law in the state, dumped him from office, and barred him from running for state office again. And you know what? The SCOTUS didn’t have jack sh*t to say about that case, nor did they hear it. It was solely a states rights case.

If overstuffed buffoons like Thomas and Alito are such strict originalists, then this is the case for them, and Trump loses. The Colorado state Supreme Court went to great lengths in their ruling to quote section 3 of the 14th Amendment, and to prove that Trump was in fact, at that moment, an officer of the federal government. How can they possibly vote against upholding the state Supreme Court ruling? But throw those two jackheels out for a moment and look at the bigger picture. Trump has lost every major decision that he personally has brought before his court, often with only Thomas and Alito dissenting. What better way for Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Comey Barret to show their independence of Trump.

The way I see it, there are four possible SCOTUS decisions possible when this mega turd gets dumped on their doorstep. Here they are;

• They can take the case on an expedited basis, and rule for Trump, in which case Chief Justice John Roberts will be covered in so much historical tar that there won’t be enough feathers for his piss pathetic historical legacy
• They take the case on an expedited basis, and then rule for the plaintiffs. This would be the death knell for Trump, since every blue or purple state with a Democratic Secretary of State would rule Trump as ineligible to appear on the ballot. If say, Michigan, Arizona and Nevada preclude Trump from the ballot, it makes it almost mathematically impossible for his to get to 270 votes
• The 3rd option is what I call the cop out option. They agree to take the case, put a stay on the Colorado ruling, and then dither d*ck around until after the January 6th certification deadline for Colorado. This is a nightmare option. If they rule for Trump, and do so after the January 6th deadline, then they politicized the court with their delay. And if they wait until after January 6th, and then decide for the plaintiffs, then they just basically invalidated their legitimacy as a court. They used stall tactics to come up with the right decision, but only after it was too late for Colorado to act on it
• This one I give a 50-50 shot. The US Supreme Court looks politely, and then declines to hear the case. I give this a 50-50 chance for two reasons. First, since the case originated in, was adjudicated in, and is restricted solely to Colorado, how is it logically not a states rights case? This gives the constitutional originalists an easy out. And second, it gives that craven coward an easy out to keep from having to decide a case that is a true no win for the court, and further diminishes his already miniscule accomplishment tableau for history

This has been a long time coming. The Roberts court is notorious for taking up controversial cases only when they can stick it to the liberals. Any other case they either decline to hear, or rush through under the cover of darkness with their bullsh*t shadow docket. This is the kind of historic fundamental constitutional rights issue that the court was created for. The only question is will they take it, and if so, then how?

And to close, I’m going to leave you with a hypothetical scenario that has been burning in my brain since the ruling came out. Let’s just say that the SCOTUS takes the case, and rules against Colorado. Now, let’s just say that the Colorado Secretary of State, and the Colorado Supreme Court stand up, face towards Washington, flip double barrel birds and yell, F*CK YOU! This is our state, and our ballots, and you have no jurisdiction here! The SCOTUS itself emboldened Colorado by making abortion a states rights issue.

What can they do? The Supreme Court is the only branch of the federal government that has absolutely no enforcement mechanism. They can’t summon the FBI and tell them to get to Colorado and ensure that Trump’s name is on the ballot. And Roberts can’t call the DOJ and angrily demand that they initiate criminal proceedings against the Colorado officials for contempt of court. 

Right now genital warts are more popular than the United States Supreme Court. And after the affirmative action and abortion debacles, the vast majority of the American public wouldn’t mind at all if the SCOTUS were relegated to playing nude games of Johnny-on-a-pony. They have nobody to blame but themselves for being such tone deaf sh*ts.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.