Trump’s “Roy Cohn Defense” Is Going To Cost Him With The Jury

Talk with your mouth full. Bite the hand that feeds you. Bite off more than you can chew. I’ll show you how. Dare to be stupid   Weird Al Yankovic   dare to be stupid

I don’t know what the hell Traitor Tot thinks he’s doing, but I can already tell it isn’t going to work out well for him. Personally, I’m impressed so far with Trump’s lead defense lawyer, Todd Blanche. A former career prosecutor, Blanche has little criminal defense trial experience, but seems to be learning on the fly quickly. Most importantly, he seems to have discovered the secret worm hole in the universe that allows him listen to Traitor Tot’s kvetches, pat him on the head and tell him, Fine, now go back to sleep, and go doing what was already doing in the first place.

But there are limits to the length of Blanche’s choker chain. El Pendejo Presidente is still the one signing the checks, and so he has some input on strategy. And His Lowness has one inviolate mantra that he learned on the knee of his mentor and idol, disgraced, disbarred drunken mob lawyer Roy Cohn.

And all you need to know was explained by prominent criminal defense lawyer and MSNBC legal analyst, who said of Cohn, Oh sure, you can find them hanging around the courthouse, they guys who fight every point, argue with the judge, and have no other clients than the charity defense cases they get from the court. You won’t find them with real paying clients, simply because they’re self destructive.

But Cohn is still Trump’s mentor, and dream attorney, and he taught Trump the only thing he ever cared about in dealing with the law, Never back down, and never give an inch. Contest every single point of law. And that is the defense tactic he instilled in both of his previous lead attorneys, Joe Tacopenis and Ali Habba. And it was an unmitigated disaster on each occasion. And I know why.

You all know I was the foreman on two civil juries, one a PI case, and the other a week long trip to the dungeon in a dental malpractice suit. And as anyone who has done it knows, it’s no trip to a Sandals Resort. Does anybody honestly think we want to be there, in the judicial system version of a study hall, waiting to see if your juror number gets called? We’d rather be having oral surgery sans Novocain.

Trump’s jury isn’t sitting there because they’re already dreaming of how they’re going to spend the millions they make off of the book on being a Trump jury member. They’re there because the Sheriff’s deputies will come for them if they just blow it off without at least a half assed reason.

Here’s my point. From the start of voir dire, the prospective jurors were advised to be prepared for a 5-6 week hegira. What everybody involved with that trial needs to understand from the get-go is that as jurors, we are putting out personal and professional lives on hold to keep the American criminal justice chugging along. And if we’re willing to do that, the least they can all do is to streamline the process to make it as painless as possible.

And Trump is f*cking it up, on two fronts. The first is in his attitude and actions at the defense table when court is in session. While the Cheeto Jesus can go on Bullsh*t Social to claim that he’s simply resting his baby blues while he concentrates on the testimony, what the jury sees is a fat old man copping a nap at the defense table while they are supposed to be awake and alert, taking notes and listening to the testimony in his case. It won’t likely come up in deliberations, but it sure as hell can prejudice individual jurors against Trump in their internal deliberations.

But here’s the kill shot. In most cases, whether criminal or civil, it is a common practice for lawyers on both sides to agree on certain documents, audio, video and other forms of evidence as being authentic, allowing those items to be introduced into evidence on a cooperative basis. This provides the greatest service of all for the jury, it saves them court time!

But in the spirit oh Cohn Blanche has his marching orders, and they’re basically walking off of a cliff. Dispute Everything! Which is killing Trump already. Instead of just stipulating that the bank documents were authentic, the prosecution had to call Michael Cohen’s personal banker to the stand to verify their authenticity. And while he was already there and at it, he testified to Cohen’s almost frenzied desperation to get the deal done, and that the whole thing was so hinky tat afterwards, he was moves to file a Special Transaction Activity Report to the federal database.

And now Trump is piling on. Today his defense refused to stipulate that the texts and messages on Michael Cohen’s cell phone were authentic. This led the prosecution to call a NYPD tech savant to the stand to testify that he had person ally examined Cohen’s phones, and there was no hanky-panky. And since he was there, they read the texts, and played messages, and had the techie affirm their authenticity. stand up and take a bow, fool! Now when the prosecution calls Cohen to the stand, and introduces the evidence, it comes in already pre-vetted!

At this point, I don’t know how Trumpelforeskin could handle this any worse, unless he stood up and mooned the jury. The jury doesn’t know jack sh*t about Trump resting his baby blues on Bullsh*t Social, all they know is that he’s nodding off in court. I know from personal experience that jury deliberations can range far and wide, especially when the jury is eating lunch, and not officially deliberating. Jurors bitching about Trump nodding off in court over cheeseburgers, or complaining about the defense refusing to stipulate the stupidest little things at trial can poison the jury against Trump. And Dear Lord, we still have at least 4-5 weeks to go. Don’t touch that dial.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.